我該如何和老婆溝通? - 婚姻
By Hedy
at 2011-12-12T12:49
at 2011-12-12T12:49
Table of Contents
老實的說...我有一段時間跟你的老婆真的好像好像(遮臉)
甚至質問的方式,翻舊帳的方法都一模一樣
所以我就腦補一下你老婆的想法,當作參考參考就好
我也是跟原生家庭處的很不好
所以長大獨立後就會想要有一個自己的家
這個家能夠保護我包容我給予我溫暖,這是原生家庭從來沒有給過的
能夠自己出來工作是非常重要的象徵,因為他讓我有獨立的經濟而不用再看別人臉色
不知道其他人怎麼想,我自己是覺得被挖角這種事是很可遇不可求的
如果是我有可以薪水大躍升的機會,如果是我絕對不會為了老公放棄...
那對你太太來說應該是很犧牲自我的決定,等同是將自己的羽翼交給你
是我遇到一樣的事情,應該會嘔出好幾公升的血來吧
但你的處理方式非常的不好,因為你太太要的其實不是錢
正確來說是她自己賺的錢跟你給他的錢是完全不一樣的
那五萬塊代表的是別人認同她的能力,她能夠對家中有所貢獻,給予她自信
你給她那五萬卻像是想花錢了事,請她乖乖不要吵了
而她現在已經與原本的工作環境斷軌,要回頭也不太可能再爬到原本的位置
失去尊嚴失去工作,與婆家的關係破裂,連當初想依賴的老公也不再挺她
現在你太太的狀況像是一隻受盡驚嚇的小動物
對所有接近的事物都亂揮亂抓,即使是善意的也是一樣
因為現在只能想著要保護自己,當然看不見其他周圍事物
當然上面說的是有點誇張啦...
不過我覺得你太太會覺得你不懂的安慰她,蠻有可能是因為親戚間的事你自己多多
少少也覺得太太是有錯的,在話中這個訊息隱約有透露出來讓她感覺到
你太太現在需要的不是"溝通",而是安全感
方式可能從說之以理改成動之以情
不管她情緒多激動你的情緒都不要被影響,堅定溫柔的表示我有在聽,我不會生你氣
起碼....我自己被這樣對待後大概半年就好了
如果是真心的覺得不想離婚的話
就去把太太帶回來吧....
好好的抱抱她跟她說你受委屈了
如果沒辦法發自內心的心疼老婆,或是覺得為啥我要這麼辛苦,我做的還不夠嗎??
那可能還是聽大部分版友的意見離婚比較好
因為你真的沒有辦法保護她
--
甚至質問的方式,翻舊帳的方法都一模一樣
所以我就腦補一下你老婆的想法,當作參考參考就好
我也是跟原生家庭處的很不好
所以長大獨立後就會想要有一個自己的家
這個家能夠保護我包容我給予我溫暖,這是原生家庭從來沒有給過的
能夠自己出來工作是非常重要的象徵,因為他讓我有獨立的經濟而不用再看別人臉色
不知道其他人怎麼想,我自己是覺得被挖角這種事是很可遇不可求的
如果是我有可以薪水大躍升的機會,如果是我絕對不會為了老公放棄...
那對你太太來說應該是很犧牲自我的決定,等同是將自己的羽翼交給你
是我遇到一樣的事情,應該會嘔出好幾公升的血來吧
但你的處理方式非常的不好,因為你太太要的其實不是錢
正確來說是她自己賺的錢跟你給他的錢是完全不一樣的
那五萬塊代表的是別人認同她的能力,她能夠對家中有所貢獻,給予她自信
你給她那五萬卻像是想花錢了事,請她乖乖不要吵了
而她現在已經與原本的工作環境斷軌,要回頭也不太可能再爬到原本的位置
失去尊嚴失去工作,與婆家的關係破裂,連當初想依賴的老公也不再挺她
現在你太太的狀況像是一隻受盡驚嚇的小動物
對所有接近的事物都亂揮亂抓,即使是善意的也是一樣
因為現在只能想著要保護自己,當然看不見其他周圍事物
當然上面說的是有點誇張啦...
不過我覺得你太太會覺得你不懂的安慰她,蠻有可能是因為親戚間的事你自己多多
少少也覺得太太是有錯的,在話中這個訊息隱約有透露出來讓她感覺到
你太太現在需要的不是"溝通",而是安全感
方式可能從說之以理改成動之以情
不管她情緒多激動你的情緒都不要被影響,堅定溫柔的表示我有在聽,我不會生你氣
起碼....我自己被這樣對待後大概半年就好了
如果是真心的覺得不想離婚的話
就去把太太帶回來吧....
好好的抱抱她跟她說你受委屈了
如果沒辦法發自內心的心疼老婆,或是覺得為啥我要這麼辛苦,我做的還不夠嗎??
那可能還是聽大部分版友的意見離婚比較好
因為你真的沒有辦法保護她
--
Tags:
婚姻
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