老婆非常地不愛乾淨 - 婚姻
By Carolina Franco
at 2011-10-23T23:57
at 2011-10-23T23:57
Table of Contents
唉我還是忍不住回文了......orz
先說家事這回事,其實是有了孩子以後,
我才比較重視這一部份,因為我希望孩子能在乾淨溫暖的環境中長大。
但我並沒有要求自己做到家事達人的地步,
所以並不一定每個地方都一塵不染,而且常常也會有漏溝的時候。= =
可是每天擦紗窗,掃地,用手擦客餐廳跟孩子活動區域,
拖其他的區域,整理書架,廚房,
每天料理兩到三餐,兩天洗一次衣服(有時候是老公洗,或他放進去我晾)
是一定會做的事情。
這其中包括要陪孩子玩,要哄他睡,我要唸書要寫字要準備考試。
孩子當然會盧會鬧,但我會帶著他做家事,因為孩子也是需要學習的。
而且重點在做家事的過程裡,我覺得這是一個開心的差事,
因為我為我愛的家人,整理出這樣一個環境。
整個家的擺設(雖則沒啥布置)跟空間安排(尤其是書)都是我一手包辦,
若說一個家是一個主婦個人意志的展現,真的一點也不為過。
家事是需要意志力支撐的事情,
雖則可以當作一件快樂的事,但真的需要意志力。
而意志力的來源在於一個被大家用到快爛的字,就是家人間的愛。
我覺得原PO朋友的家庭,
(講坦白話我還真覺得為了一個轉述又轉述的故事討論這篇實在是很浪費時間)
感覺上就是頹敗了,從根基腐朽爛掉了......
這個妻子或母親我不知道她是為了什麼原因完全對於身邊的環境置若罔聞,
但那個感覺讓我想到「美夢成真」這部電影裡,
那個已經陷入地獄的女主角身處的環境。
家事不是重點,我覺得是她們的婚姻已經出現了很重大的裂痕與危機。
我可以開開心心的做家事,每天陪著孩子規律的作息,
那是因為我跟老公有堅固的感情基礎,我老公也願意包容及欣賞我所做的付出,
以及我有真正完整的獨處時間,和每天有一些「心理上」的休息時間的緣故。
但若在我很頹靡或很累很有壓力的時候,家裡空間也是會立刻有改變的。
甚而空氣裡會有一種陰暗的氣氛,連燈光也變暗了似地。
老公常說我有很強的能量支撐著這個家庭,
甚而有著改變空間的力量(說得跟女巫一樣= =)
我想那是因為因為整個家庭的全部就是我心靈能量的展現吧......
若家庭是心靈的外顯示現,那他們家是如何呢?
若我是女方,在從相處不良的婆家搬出來後,
面對兩個小鬼(其實只要一個沒上幼稚園的小子在家就很恐怖了)
以及終年幾乎很難見到面,關係又很冷淡的老公,
我想,要我去對這個家庭盡什麼義務,若沒有其他理由支撐,應該也是會放棄了。
或許她早就想離婚了,只是不知道怎麼負這個責任,
乾脆擺爛來讓老公跟自己離婚也很難說啊,這種狀況不少見呀。
而若我是男方,在妻子與自己家庭處不好,不得不搬出來,
但自己的家似乎又經營得很糟糕,但自己因為工作之故有心無力,
卻又很氣老婆不好好理家不給自己一個溫暖的棲身之所,回家也沒一頓熱飯,
就更不想找其他方式維持家庭整潔,寧願自己累得要死,
寧願希冀不可能達成自己要求的老婆去做家事,我想這也是他無能為力的表現。
所以我覺得這一對夫妻(若是真實故事的話),都很辛苦。
在一段不友善與灰暗的婚姻生活裡,兩個人都是有責任的,但兩個人也都很可憐。
但我感覺最可憐的是那兩個孩子,一個印象中已經到了國中,一個剛上幼稚園。
在一個髒亂不堪,爸爸不見人影,媽媽每天漫無目的遊魂一般的生活,
更不用說先前在婆家可能有的各種爭執......
他們看到的父母背影是什麼樣子,他們對自己的人生又會有什麼期待?
我不太想指責這兩位的任何一位,我只覺得兩位都需要幫助。
家事根本不是重點。
但板友好多都把自己的狀況帶入了......
有些是因為自己的付出或做得不錯而義薄雲天波瀾壯闊的驕傲與理直氣壯的指責。
有些是自己似乎也被指責到受傷一般的辯解或補完許多狀況。
有些是提出懶也可以用懶人方式解決問題來做結論。
有些則是一邊對自己的狀況有一些悄悄的罪惡感或不安,
但趕快寫出來找個立場跟輿論站同邊,
然後一起伸出手指指向那位婦人,以安慰自己沒有那位婦人這般邋遢......:p
不過這些都很好看啦......XDD
婚姻板本來就這樣嘛~只是大家別吵得太過份又要上法院了。(ㄏ ̄▽ ̄)ㄏ
回到原PO朋友家庭的問題,講坦白話一切線索都不明確也很模糊,
若有那個錢還真是建議去找個婚姻諮商吧。;p
--
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