無後援家長如何兼顧職場與生活 - 婚姻
By Selena
at 2023-04-22T23:02
at 2023-04-22T23:02
Table of Contents
是否同意記者抄文: NO
看到這個話題我深有所感,故來說一下自己家的情況,本文很長,慎入。
首先是背景介紹:
1. 夫(40y), 妻(37y),台北人,兩個人賺得差不多,工作都是高強度的責任制,
老公在金融業,我在科技業
2. 小孩兩個,哥哥小一生,妹妹小班
3. 夫家長輩已不在,我家長輩在國外,完!全!沒!有!阿公阿罵的後援
婚前跟先生討論過是否考慮不生小孩,主要擔憂在沒有後援的情況下,會影響我們兩個的
職場發展,也無法花心思教育小孩;但後來在我們不間斷地討論以及縝密做了一些計畫
後,我們決定生一胎,目標是讓父母自己的人生+培養小孩倆不誤。我們婚後為此準備了
四年才開始備孕,期間做的準備有:
1. 在這四年內以工作及進修為主,確保所待的公司是對特休給的比勞基法多,育兒
友善的場所,心態上要非常積極的工作,強大自己的工作能力
2. 兩個人建立運動習慣 ,作息正常,維持良好的健康
3. 好好記帳存錢,並建立有紀律的投資習慣
4. 事先討論好小孩出生後的分工
生下小孩後,我跟先生輪流請了半年的育嬰假,訓練彼此都有獨自一打一的能力 (回到上
一段的準備1,由於已經在育兒友善的工作場所站穩腳步,故較不擔心請了就回不去的狀
況;加上有準備3,不至於對於收入減少有焦慮)請育嬰假那一方專攻育兒,去上班的另外
一位回家意思意思做一點小家事,周末兩天我們固定請鐘點保母(09:00-16:00)加上打掃
人員到家裡,父母如果想出門就出門,想在家裡發懶就發懶,保母顧孩清潔顧家,
父母樂滔滔~
維持這個模式到了一歲半小孩送托嬰,兩人都回到職場,先生升了職,工時及工作壓力倍
增,我被公司指派讀EMBA,兩人進入蠟燭兩頭燒的黑暗時期。
那時候我先生周一到周五的作息是每天12點睡5點起床,起床後先工作到7點,接著準備全
家人的早餐,出門上班打8點半的卡,固定打5點半的下班卡去接小孩回家,一直到小孩睡
前(大概是8點半左右)都是先生負責(因為媽媽去上學九點多才到家),小孩睡了以後先生
繼續工作到11點,運動30分鐘,洗澡睡覺。
我的作息是每天凌晨2點睡早上7點起床,陪小孩到9點送托嬰,10-18上班,晚上上課到
9點,回到家後放空休息,11點跟老公一起運動,老公睡覺以後換我工作寫作業到兩點,
上床睡覺。(家裡->公司->學校-家裡的移動都靠計程車,還可以在車上補眠…)
上述時期除了早餐老公簡單準備以外,老公中午在公司吃,晚上固定訂宅配餐;我中午吃
宅配餐剩下來的,晚上外食。兩人完全不煮飯不做家事不洗衣服只依靠洗碗機跟掃地拖地
機器人讓家裡不至於像個豬窩,每周末固定請人來家裡打掃洗衣服做家事。禮拜六上午我
一打一陪小孩(老公上午跟朋友去打球),下午換老公一打一我得上課,晚上一起顧
孩。禮拜天是家庭日,父母要放下工作學業專心陪兒子,就算禮拜一有重要會議也要忍耐
等兒子睡覺才能工作…在這個情況下,如果兩人想要跟朋友見面、失心瘋想要去買周年慶
什麼的,就要自己請特休約平日,前提是不能耽誤對家庭及小孩的貢獻。
上述這個模式如果碰到我老公要國外出差,我…就24小時不睡覺(開玩笑的),我就鐘點
保母/陪玩姊姊錢花下去,早上行程不變,下午請特休去接小孩回家後去上學,提早翹課
回家送他上床,在繼續工作補進度;如果碰到兒子生病被托嬰中心/幼兒園退貨,我們就
輪流請假在家顧他這樣。
兒子快四歲的時候我總算畢業,以為可以喘一口氣,結果沒想到在老公結紮的狀況下我懷
了老二,說實在當時覺得蠻崩潰的還在婦產科痛哭,因為會去結紮就是打定主意只生一胎
,但因為信仰的關係無法墮胎,故生下了女兒。
有老二的生活我們對彼此承諾要做到:
1. 一起賺更多錢畢竟多了一個小孩要養
2. 一起維持身心靈健康
3. 對小孩要做到有品質的陪伴,夫妻兩人的相處也不能少
4. 全家和樂
我們努力的點在於工作時間全心全意,績效要做到讓老闆滿意,並且犧牲睡眠在小孩睡覺
/還沒起床的時候加班;周間固定請陪玩姊姊去接兩個小孩放學回家,並且請社區的阿姨
固定在我家煮晚餐,我跟先生從公司下班就可以直接回家陪小孩吃熱騰騰的家常菜,
吃飽飯到睡前這段時間專心的陪哥哥讀書陪妹妹玩,小孩上床睡覺之後就是夫妻的兩人
時間/在家運動/加班;周末固定拉出輪流放風、家庭日的時段,以及利用哥哥學鋼琴課
妹妹學直排輪的時候夫妻把握時間加班(70%)約會(20%)見朋友(10%)…
我們犧牲的點在於父母周間的生活真的壓力又大又趕分秒不能浪費,上班時間不能懶散還
要表現出精神抖擻很精實的態度,晚上也不能輕鬆的看電視滑手機打電動 (想當年我生小
孩前可是徹夜玩魔獸的人…),以及無可避免的要花很多金錢在各種外包上面…以及有很
多人擁有我家的鑰匙…
目前上述的做法是我們期許可以兼顧本文原po的命題,如何兼顧職場發展與個人生活品質
,以及顧及小朋友的照顧跟教養…希望我的拋磚引玉可以有一些共鳴,也期待看到其他人
的分享。所有父母都辛苦了!
--
看到這個話題我深有所感,故來說一下自己家的情況,本文很長,慎入。
首先是背景介紹:
1. 夫(40y), 妻(37y),台北人,兩個人賺得差不多,工作都是高強度的責任制,
老公在金融業,我在科技業
2. 小孩兩個,哥哥小一生,妹妹小班
3. 夫家長輩已不在,我家長輩在國外,完!全!沒!有!阿公阿罵的後援
婚前跟先生討論過是否考慮不生小孩,主要擔憂在沒有後援的情況下,會影響我們兩個的
職場發展,也無法花心思教育小孩;但後來在我們不間斷地討論以及縝密做了一些計畫
後,我們決定生一胎,目標是讓父母自己的人生+培養小孩倆不誤。我們婚後為此準備了
四年才開始備孕,期間做的準備有:
1. 在這四年內以工作及進修為主,確保所待的公司是對特休給的比勞基法多,育兒
友善的場所,心態上要非常積極的工作,強大自己的工作能力
2. 兩個人建立運動習慣 ,作息正常,維持良好的健康
3. 好好記帳存錢,並建立有紀律的投資習慣
4. 事先討論好小孩出生後的分工
生下小孩後,我跟先生輪流請了半年的育嬰假,訓練彼此都有獨自一打一的能力 (回到上
一段的準備1,由於已經在育兒友善的工作場所站穩腳步,故較不擔心請了就回不去的狀
況;加上有準備3,不至於對於收入減少有焦慮)請育嬰假那一方專攻育兒,去上班的另外
一位回家意思意思做一點小家事,周末兩天我們固定請鐘點保母(09:00-16:00)加上打掃
人員到家裡,父母如果想出門就出門,想在家裡發懶就發懶,保母顧孩清潔顧家,
父母樂滔滔~
維持這個模式到了一歲半小孩送托嬰,兩人都回到職場,先生升了職,工時及工作壓力倍
增,我被公司指派讀EMBA,兩人進入蠟燭兩頭燒的黑暗時期。
那時候我先生周一到周五的作息是每天12點睡5點起床,起床後先工作到7點,接著準備全
家人的早餐,出門上班打8點半的卡,固定打5點半的下班卡去接小孩回家,一直到小孩睡
前(大概是8點半左右)都是先生負責(因為媽媽去上學九點多才到家),小孩睡了以後先生
繼續工作到11點,運動30分鐘,洗澡睡覺。
我的作息是每天凌晨2點睡早上7點起床,陪小孩到9點送托嬰,10-18上班,晚上上課到
9點,回到家後放空休息,11點跟老公一起運動,老公睡覺以後換我工作寫作業到兩點,
上床睡覺。(家裡->公司->學校-家裡的移動都靠計程車,還可以在車上補眠…)
上述時期除了早餐老公簡單準備以外,老公中午在公司吃,晚上固定訂宅配餐;我中午吃
宅配餐剩下來的,晚上外食。兩人完全不煮飯不做家事不洗衣服只依靠洗碗機跟掃地拖地
機器人讓家裡不至於像個豬窩,每周末固定請人來家裡打掃洗衣服做家事。禮拜六上午我
一打一陪小孩(老公上午跟朋友去打球),下午換老公一打一我得上課,晚上一起顧
孩。禮拜天是家庭日,父母要放下工作學業專心陪兒子,就算禮拜一有重要會議也要忍耐
等兒子睡覺才能工作…在這個情況下,如果兩人想要跟朋友見面、失心瘋想要去買周年慶
什麼的,就要自己請特休約平日,前提是不能耽誤對家庭及小孩的貢獻。
上述這個模式如果碰到我老公要國外出差,我…就24小時不睡覺(開玩笑的),我就鐘點
保母/陪玩姊姊錢花下去,早上行程不變,下午請特休去接小孩回家後去上學,提早翹課
回家送他上床,在繼續工作補進度;如果碰到兒子生病被托嬰中心/幼兒園退貨,我們就
輪流請假在家顧他這樣。
兒子快四歲的時候我總算畢業,以為可以喘一口氣,結果沒想到在老公結紮的狀況下我懷
了老二,說實在當時覺得蠻崩潰的還在婦產科痛哭,因為會去結紮就是打定主意只生一胎
,但因為信仰的關係無法墮胎,故生下了女兒。
有老二的生活我們對彼此承諾要做到:
1. 一起賺更多錢畢竟多了一個小孩要養
2. 一起維持身心靈健康
3. 對小孩要做到有品質的陪伴,夫妻兩人的相處也不能少
4. 全家和樂
我們努力的點在於工作時間全心全意,績效要做到讓老闆滿意,並且犧牲睡眠在小孩睡覺
/還沒起床的時候加班;周間固定請陪玩姊姊去接兩個小孩放學回家,並且請社區的阿姨
固定在我家煮晚餐,我跟先生從公司下班就可以直接回家陪小孩吃熱騰騰的家常菜,
吃飽飯到睡前這段時間專心的陪哥哥讀書陪妹妹玩,小孩上床睡覺之後就是夫妻的兩人
時間/在家運動/加班;周末固定拉出輪流放風、家庭日的時段,以及利用哥哥學鋼琴課
妹妹學直排輪的時候夫妻把握時間加班(70%)約會(20%)見朋友(10%)…
我們犧牲的點在於父母周間的生活真的壓力又大又趕分秒不能浪費,上班時間不能懶散還
要表現出精神抖擻很精實的態度,晚上也不能輕鬆的看電視滑手機打電動 (想當年我生小
孩前可是徹夜玩魔獸的人…),以及無可避免的要花很多金錢在各種外包上面…以及有很
多人擁有我家的鑰匙…
目前上述的做法是我們期許可以兼顧本文原po的命題,如何兼顧職場發展與個人生活品質
,以及顧及小朋友的照顧跟教養…希望我的拋磚引玉可以有一些共鳴,也期待看到其他人
的分享。所有父母都辛苦了!
--
Tags:
婚姻
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By Wallis
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