婆婆的好意該怎麼拒絕 - 婚姻
By Mia
at 2011-10-20T23:56
at 2011-10-20T23:56
Table of Contents
※ 引述《sweetiewin (我要加油)》之銘言:
: 然後,她就不開心了
: 說我懷孕這個也不吃,那個也不吃
: 隨便妳啦!
: 我知道婆婆都是一番好意
我不覺得這是好意。逼迫他人接受的「好意」都不算是好意。
正常人會因為有人告訴自己說「抱歉我有忌諱不吃這個」而生氣的嗎?
這是不尊重,而且也太自我中心了。她是為了誰在勸吃呢?
為了自己?還是真的為了孕婦與胎兒?
我這邊加一句比較清楚:不是好意,並不代表就是「惡意」,
但在那當下,並不是為了對方著想的「好意」便是了。
: 可是為了北鼻我也會有比較多顧慮
: 卻換來婆婆的不悅,好苦腦…
: p.s我懷孕32週,也已經胖了15公斤
: 也不知道她怎麼會認為我什麼都不吃呢(汗..)
我不知道為何討論到最後竟然變成很多人開始怪原PO大驚小怪,
並且開始檢討與變相逼迫她去吃她會擔心且在意的食物。
我好奇的是,不吃芒果這些東西是會怎樣嗎?
讓孕婦擔心東擔心西才是對胎兒不好,這件事不是常識嗎?
況且芒果本來就是高過敏食物,尤其是中醫也是不建議孕婦多吃啊!
而原PO不吃這些而去喝飲料什麼的,那也是她的選擇,
結果她一貼這文,便立刻從一個婆婆繁殖成數十個婆婆,
每個都在盯著逼著審視她的每日菜單這樣,這是什麼狀況啊?XD
每個人應該或多或少都會有不吃或不愛吃的食物吧,
就不能設身處地想一下若是自己在席間被婆婆或丈母娘逼迫吃下這些食物時,
心裡有多不爽嗎?:p
也難怪這世界上會有這種婆婆出現了,或許是一種焦慮吧......
自己的意見不被重視,無法操控他人的焦慮。
或是自己或老婆或身邊親人曾經這樣吃過,但看別人有禁忌就心裡不舒坦,
這是把自己的焦慮投射到他人身上了吧。
重點不在於孕期可以或不可以吃什麼好嗎?
而是在於人家就是不想吃,這就已經是最佳的理由了。
話說回來,我以前在孕期也碰過類似的狀況。
若是好意的勸進,像我婆婆,真心的希望我吃一兩口她覺得很好吃的食物,
我會跟她很認真的說我會過敏(我懷孕後期大過敏,可用體無完膚形容)
她就不會再說了,這才是真正的尊重,我很感謝我婆婆。
但通常不會到這種地步老公就會先幫我擋了,
他會先一步夾去吃掉,而且他的禁忌比我還多,
有時候我還會看著那塊蔥爆豬肉露出可憐的神色,
他就會很嚴肅的跟我說妳不能吃這個,妳吃蔥就會長疹子,
然後豬肉就消失在他的嘴角了......
通常演這麼一下就沒人會勸進我吃啥了,反而大家會覺得我很可憐。XD
--
: 然後,她就不開心了
: 說我懷孕這個也不吃,那個也不吃
: 隨便妳啦!
: 我知道婆婆都是一番好意
我不覺得這是好意。逼迫他人接受的「好意」都不算是好意。
正常人會因為有人告訴自己說「抱歉我有忌諱不吃這個」而生氣的嗎?
這是不尊重,而且也太自我中心了。她是為了誰在勸吃呢?
為了自己?還是真的為了孕婦與胎兒?
我這邊加一句比較清楚:不是好意,並不代表就是「惡意」,
但在那當下,並不是為了對方著想的「好意」便是了。
: 可是為了北鼻我也會有比較多顧慮
: 卻換來婆婆的不悅,好苦腦…
: p.s我懷孕32週,也已經胖了15公斤
: 也不知道她怎麼會認為我什麼都不吃呢(汗..)
我不知道為何討論到最後竟然變成很多人開始怪原PO大驚小怪,
並且開始檢討與變相逼迫她去吃她會擔心且在意的食物。
我好奇的是,不吃芒果這些東西是會怎樣嗎?
讓孕婦擔心東擔心西才是對胎兒不好,這件事不是常識嗎?
況且芒果本來就是高過敏食物,尤其是中醫也是不建議孕婦多吃啊!
而原PO不吃這些而去喝飲料什麼的,那也是她的選擇,
結果她一貼這文,便立刻從一個婆婆繁殖成數十個婆婆,
每個都在盯著逼著審視她的每日菜單這樣,這是什麼狀況啊?XD
每個人應該或多或少都會有不吃或不愛吃的食物吧,
就不能設身處地想一下若是自己在席間被婆婆或丈母娘逼迫吃下這些食物時,
心裡有多不爽嗎?:p
也難怪這世界上會有這種婆婆出現了,或許是一種焦慮吧......
自己的意見不被重視,無法操控他人的焦慮。
或是自己或老婆或身邊親人曾經這樣吃過,但看別人有禁忌就心裡不舒坦,
這是把自己的焦慮投射到他人身上了吧。
重點不在於孕期可以或不可以吃什麼好嗎?
而是在於人家就是不想吃,這就已經是最佳的理由了。
話說回來,我以前在孕期也碰過類似的狀況。
若是好意的勸進,像我婆婆,真心的希望我吃一兩口她覺得很好吃的食物,
我會跟她很認真的說我會過敏(我懷孕後期大過敏,可用體無完膚形容)
她就不會再說了,這才是真正的尊重,我很感謝我婆婆。
但通常不會到這種地步老公就會先幫我擋了,
他會先一步夾去吃掉,而且他的禁忌比我還多,
有時候我還會看著那塊蔥爆豬肉露出可憐的神色,
他就會很嚴肅的跟我說妳不能吃這個,妳吃蔥就會長疹子,
然後豬肉就消失在他的嘴角了......
通常演這麼一下就沒人會勸進我吃啥了,反而大家會覺得我很可憐。XD
--
Tags:
婚姻
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