命運會這樣安排的道理? - 婚姻
By Hamiltion
at 2011-05-19T17:14
at 2011-05-19T17:14
Table of Contents
沒有時間寫太多,以下應是簡短敘述。若有語意不足之處先說抱歉。
若我在妳的狀況,我一定是老公為重。
但是我也相信我的老公會為我的將來作打算。
甚而他買的保險等等,都是為了我跟孩子著想居多。
對於這樣的男人,除了我本來就愛他以外,更因為他的作為而傾心以報。
以上的主詞若倒過來寫,也是一樣。
當然我不是因為老公會「為我打算」我才為他鞠躬盡瘁,
而是在選擇對象的開始,相處的過程,繼而決定進入婚姻,
這些過程裡,由於我們至誠以對,且交付真心,
於是我們緊密連結,以對方為最重要的人,甚而與自己的生命相當,
才有辦法做到這些。
說到底就是「相愛」與「信任」而已,別無其他。這是互相的。
所以,我反而可以理解原PO的苦與想法,
因為這世界上沒有一個人在幫她想。
她的能量一直是處於不斷被掏空的狀態,加上老公O吃X做,
婆家也不想去要求這個兒子,反而覺得他就這樣擺爛就好,
反正家中會照顧他,養得起他,於是原PO失望之餘,跟老公間也漸行漸遠。
現在突然發生這種事情,本來她已經放棄去管的老公突然又整個變成她的責任,
會覺得被突襲又很無奈是理所當然的。
娘家那兒不消說,根本就是無能照顧自己還要原PO撐,
婆家就更不用說,以前擔心媳婦在家裡吃老本急著趕她去工作,
現在擔心兒子沒人照料,就要媳婦放下一切來照顧兒子。
但是若這個兒子走了以後,我相信婆家是會把媳婦一腳踢開的。
可是原PO還有責任耶!她若沒了工作與存款,媽媽怎麼辦?
在這種狀態下,我想了想,先撇除「這種人我根本不會愛」以外,
若我是原PO,我一定也非常為難且痛苦。
因為原PO的老公並不是一個值得傾心以報的人,簡言之是根本找錯人。:p
但雖則不值得傾盡所有,可是原PO對他仍有感情,仍有愛意,甚而還有罪惡感。
我想,若真的要稍微各方面都顧及,
或許可以嘗試跟老闆或主管說明這種狀況,讓妳的工作量減少(當然薪水也會減)
(這裡說的是可以考慮調整工作甚或調職位)
這樣才有辦法爭取多一點時間跟老公相處,甚而照顧他。
很少有事情是一定要二選一的。工作是如此,婚姻也是。
但若真的覺得很累,反正兩人也沒結婚多久,想分也是可以理解的。
不管如何,祝福原PO的老公可以找到最好的治療方式。
也祝福原PO能在平和的狀態下找到最適當的平衡。
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