養小孩的責任分擔,真的是我的錯嗎? - 婚姻
By Rachel
at 2013-01-19T23:35
at 2013-01-19T23:35
Table of Contents
先說明一下我家的基本狀況,我是一個新手爸爸,寶寶現在大約八個月大,
我老婆自從懷孕之後就辭職了,準備專心做個全職媽媽,而我的工作算是比較忙碌,
常常需要加班到晚上九點十點,週末有時候也會被call去公司,我們家寶寶算是比較難帶
到現在晚上從來沒有睡過夜,都需要抱抱安撫睡,晚上常常需要起來抱抱他讓他再次入睡
再加上體質有些過敏,吃的用的都格外小心,所以我老婆出月子中心之後,
就請我岳母來我家住幫忙帶小孩與煮飯做家事。
除了上班之外的時間我都會待在家裡,在我岳母住到我家之後,她接手了之前
大部分都是我在做的家事,白天也分擔了一些我老婆帶小孩的工作,不過洗奶瓶、晚上
安撫等事情還是我老婆跟我在做,我老婆是比較敏感的人,寶寶晚上一有動靜她就會醒
而我是神經比較大條的人,所以我晚上睡得比較好,所以我老婆長期處於睡不夠的情況下
我當然是希望可以幫忙的盡量幫忙,所以即使我晚上十點多回來,我在半夜也會起床泡奶
或是餵奶拍嗝、安撫寶寶睡覺,雖然起來的時間與次數還是比我老婆少很多,
但我自認我已經盡量在不影響白天上班的情況下來幫忙了,洗奶瓶衣服等家事我也會幫忙
或是其他老婆的吩咐我也會去做,但是我老婆還是不滿意,她覺得我做的不夠積極主動,
覺得我作的不夠好(洗的不夠乾淨,尿布包的不夠好),覺得我太隨便,
覺得我半夜的動作太慢,有時候做錯事情就會被她責罵,比如說手帕拿錯給寶寶用,
給寶寶穿錯衣服,抱寶寶的姿勢不對,因為她是"主要照顧者"標準都是她在定,
她也最清楚寶寶要什麼適合什麼,但是她完全不尊重我這個"次要照顧者",
我對寶寶的事情處理的沒她好沒合她的意就會被罵,我也是全心全力為這個家付出,
她說她照顧小孩沒有下班時間,我說我工作忙碌壓力大回來也是幫忙帶小孩,
難道我賺錢就不是付出嗎? 並是不賺錢最大,而是我在公司承受壓力,
我老婆就像是家裡的老闆,做錯被罵得更慘,我不是大男人,我願意為這個家付出
我可以賺錢,可以做家事,可以帶小孩,我只是需要比妳多一些的睡眠
(你白天也可以抽空睡),我只是要點尊重。
我覺得好累,跟老婆有小孩之後常常吵架,我常常想我不知道
這麼辛苦上班為了什麼,我跟老婆說花點時間顧一下彼此間的關係,
婚姻有問題了寶寶顧的再健康也不會有幸福的,她回我她顧寶寶都沒空了
怎麼會有時間管彼此的感情,我們幾乎沒有交談心裡的話,一開始是沒空
慢慢就變成習慣,我有時候看到寶寶會很難過,我擔心可愛的寶寶未來沒有幸福的家庭
可是我快受不了,我好想離婚逃離這一切,我不知道該怎麼面對,我應該有做錯什麼吧!
可是我真的不知道要怎麼做才可以讓我老婆滿意,也讓我自已覺得這樣做是對的,
我的煩惱不知道可以跟誰說,我只能PO在這裡,請大家幫幫我這無助的爸爸。
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