離婚改姓的困擾 - 婚姻
By Puput
at 2012-01-17T20:24
at 2012-01-17T20:24
Table of Contents
要過年了發這種文章怪怪的XD
但是當事人還蠻困惱的,所以還是幫她們問問
夫妻已經沒有共同生活很久了(大於五年),小孩是給太太帶的,先生仍然有出錢
太太本來是抱著等先生回頭的態度,但是這麼久也放棄了
最近出現了不錯的對象(也是離婚有小孩,對自己的小孩也很照顧)
決定離婚尋找自己的真愛跟自由
至於先生也想離婚,但有沒有對象不明,只是很肯定不願意再跟太太相處
夫妻協議離婚的時候,扶養費沒有太大的問題
(先生對小孩在錢上有彌補心態,所以願意一個月出3萬到小孩成年)
但是太太很堅持小孩要改母姓(女兒)
最主要的考量是將來再婚,擔心小孩覺得自己跟父(繼父)母都不同姓
會有隔閡感,還有外界異樣的眼光
先生本人對改姓沒有意見,也同意改姓
但是婆婆用死威脅不可以改姓(宗教因素)
聽說先生的家族十幾二十年前有幾個年輕子孫意外過世,家族求助宗教協助
說是雙姓祖先產生的問題,後來也透過宗教化解了,所以到現在也就安然無事
現在又扯到姓氏的問題,當然老一輩的就抓狂了
加上婆婆本身身體不好(領重度殘障手冊),憂憤交加也可能出什麼意外
(反正婆婆覺得如果改姓就會有不好的報應再發生之類的)
而且婆婆覺得自己兒子每個月出三萬養孫子,無法忍受孫子可能跟別的男人姓
(變成幫別人養小孩!?os.這是他們的說詞,我是很不以為然啦)
基本上太太覺得這是先生的問題,應該由他自己去溝通
但是先生兩手一攤,離婚跟孝順他不能兩全(他完全無法說服他媽)
希望太太念在婆婆對孫子也有照顧(不常見面,數月一次,但有見面就是二萬紅包XD)
身體不好也還是會對太太跟孫子噓寒問暖,不要在她還活著的時候忤逆她
可以先離婚,改姓以後再說
但是太太又覺得如果沒有在離婚這個時機改姓
可能一輩子都改不了了(畢竟趁先生想離婚一股作氣)
小孩子越來越大,越晚改姓對小孩的影響越大(趁現在正好要去念小學了)
不想讓小孩背負別人的指指點點
所以對於改姓這點不想讓步
(她甚至希望先生偷偷去登記,不要給長輩知道就好了,改姓應該只有父母的事吧
但是先生仍舊不肯,母親的身體重要性大於離婚這件事)
到底這種僵局怎麼解決最好?
1.透過宗教的方式讓婆婆放手? (這可能要看看有沒有專精的大大了)
雖然這種傳統的觀念讓人難以忍受,但是目前看來似乎不可能不理會
2.太太放棄改姓先離婚再說? (但又很憂慮小孩的感受跟未來)
3.想不出來的第三種方法........
只能幫她們求助在板上了(當事人兩方都會看板)
有沒有人有過來人的經驗可以說說看呢?
--
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婚姻
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