過年出國避風頭 - 婚姻
By Christine
at 2010-12-30T14:42
at 2010-12-30T14:42
Table of Contents
唉,我才結婚兩個月多,就快要遇到農曆過年的問題
不過我想我的問題更大
事情的癥結點來自於結婚雙方家長的心結
當初結婚的時候,我爸媽不知道卡在哪裡
(我後來想想,可能是我賺的錢比先生多很多、而先生車子房子都沒有)
也許是爸媽怕我吃苦,所以提親的時候跟對方要求餅錢20萬元
根據我爸媽的說法,是說對方如果連20萬元都拿不出來,還要結什麼婚
當時我也覺得我爸媽很過份,因為我們沒有嫁妝
我爸媽其實拿這20萬來訂餅、付訂婚的餐廳等等的
講白一點,我爸媽就是覺得我是賠錢貨,所以我結婚他們一毛錢也不出
當初我氣死了,還跟我爸媽大吵,我爸連要跟我拿扶養費500萬元都說出口
我媽呢,則是說我每月拿一萬元回家根本不夠她家用
所以當初我就說好,以後這個家跟我沒關係
我絕對不回家,包括農曆初二這個日子
當然結婚中間發生很多事情,最後雙方家長都互相覺得對方要求很多
但結婚之後,發現我爸媽似乎有想要釋出善意
比如前陣子我婆婆生病,我爸媽一聽到我講,就說要去宜蘭探望
然後呢,我先生跟我婆婆嘴巴上說不用
但是我在現場很清楚的知道,他們根本就不想要我爸媽去看
因為我覺得我爸媽也許願意放棄成見
(事實上我爸媽對我先生個人沒有什麼意見,有意見的就是「結婚」這件事)
想說農曆年又要到了,跟我先生問
我先生很堅決的說:我不是說過絕對不踏進你家一步嘛?
其實我覺得很為難,雖然我從來不管親朋好友怎樣說
但再怎樣大年初二先生沒有一起回我家,我想我以後也很難面對我爸媽
昨天在路邊跟他吵了很久
他就是很固執的說結婚的時候我爸媽一直羞辱他跟他們家
說什麼訂婚當天場地不好、我家這邊沒有人出來招待還要他來招待
說什麼結婚當天我爸媽故意擺臭臉
說什麼我姐嫌他騙財騙色,我姐夫搞不清楚狀況就打電話罵他
但經我追問,我先生也坦承他爸媽在結婚的時候並沒有說過什麼話
但他說他自己看也知道他爸媽受委屈
我當然也知道我爸媽不好,我也很在意我爸說要跟我拿500萬扶養費的事
但是我覺得那畢竟是我爸媽,想說請他至少作到表面
他竟然說要我爸媽先跟他道歉再講
我自己的爸媽,我很清楚,當年他們為了大學聯考、考研究所的事
對我講了多少過份的話,十多年來從來也沒有跟我到道歉過
又怎麼可能跟我先生道歉???
相反地,我先生卻要我一切以他家為重(據他說法,我爸媽不值得尊重)
要不是我現在在念研究所的在職專班,他會要求我每兩個星期就跟他回宜蘭一次
結婚之後,只要講他爸媽,就是我們的爸媽
只要講到我爸媽,他就從鼻孔出氣,以示他們是陌生人
但是講到農曆過年包紅包,他又要我出錢包給他爸媽
那時候我只是用開玩笑的口氣跟他說:我還有研究所的學費跟學分費要繳
昨天吵架我很明確的跟他說,不會因為結婚的時候你爸媽相對的比較好
在結婚之後他們就變成我爸媽,我會尊敬他們那是因為是你爸媽
我因為愛你所以我願意尊重他們,但是你有辦法像我這樣做嘛?
我先生只是不斷地無窮迴圈跳針說:他們結婚的時候對我還有我爸媽羞辱巴拉巴拉
我今天問了我姐,我姐只是淡淡地說,這也太被害妄想了吧
我已經不知道該怎麼辦
也許我PO出來還有人會噓我,我也會接受
目前為一想到的方式,就是跟去年一樣,除夕前一天跑去香港幾天避風頭
(對,去年因為提親雙方就鬧的很不愉快,我就跑去香港一個人過年)
我姐問我說:難道妳以後幾十年都要這樣出國嘛?
我也只能回答:不然妳要我怎麼辦???
我只能想說以出國的名義跟我爸媽說農曆初二沒有辦法回去,改一天再回去這樣了
--
不過我想我的問題更大
事情的癥結點來自於結婚雙方家長的心結
當初結婚的時候,我爸媽不知道卡在哪裡
(我後來想想,可能是我賺的錢比先生多很多、而先生車子房子都沒有)
也許是爸媽怕我吃苦,所以提親的時候跟對方要求餅錢20萬元
根據我爸媽的說法,是說對方如果連20萬元都拿不出來,還要結什麼婚
當時我也覺得我爸媽很過份,因為我們沒有嫁妝
我爸媽其實拿這20萬來訂餅、付訂婚的餐廳等等的
講白一點,我爸媽就是覺得我是賠錢貨,所以我結婚他們一毛錢也不出
當初我氣死了,還跟我爸媽大吵,我爸連要跟我拿扶養費500萬元都說出口
我媽呢,則是說我每月拿一萬元回家根本不夠她家用
所以當初我就說好,以後這個家跟我沒關係
我絕對不回家,包括農曆初二這個日子
當然結婚中間發生很多事情,最後雙方家長都互相覺得對方要求很多
但結婚之後,發現我爸媽似乎有想要釋出善意
比如前陣子我婆婆生病,我爸媽一聽到我講,就說要去宜蘭探望
然後呢,我先生跟我婆婆嘴巴上說不用
但是我在現場很清楚的知道,他們根本就不想要我爸媽去看
因為我覺得我爸媽也許願意放棄成見
(事實上我爸媽對我先生個人沒有什麼意見,有意見的就是「結婚」這件事)
想說農曆年又要到了,跟我先生問
我先生很堅決的說:我不是說過絕對不踏進你家一步嘛?
其實我覺得很為難,雖然我從來不管親朋好友怎樣說
但再怎樣大年初二先生沒有一起回我家,我想我以後也很難面對我爸媽
昨天在路邊跟他吵了很久
他就是很固執的說結婚的時候我爸媽一直羞辱他跟他們家
說什麼訂婚當天場地不好、我家這邊沒有人出來招待還要他來招待
說什麼結婚當天我爸媽故意擺臭臉
說什麼我姐嫌他騙財騙色,我姐夫搞不清楚狀況就打電話罵他
但經我追問,我先生也坦承他爸媽在結婚的時候並沒有說過什麼話
但他說他自己看也知道他爸媽受委屈
我當然也知道我爸媽不好,我也很在意我爸說要跟我拿500萬扶養費的事
但是我覺得那畢竟是我爸媽,想說請他至少作到表面
他竟然說要我爸媽先跟他道歉再講
我自己的爸媽,我很清楚,當年他們為了大學聯考、考研究所的事
對我講了多少過份的話,十多年來從來也沒有跟我到道歉過
又怎麼可能跟我先生道歉???
相反地,我先生卻要我一切以他家為重(據他說法,我爸媽不值得尊重)
要不是我現在在念研究所的在職專班,他會要求我每兩個星期就跟他回宜蘭一次
結婚之後,只要講他爸媽,就是我們的爸媽
只要講到我爸媽,他就從鼻孔出氣,以示他們是陌生人
但是講到農曆過年包紅包,他又要我出錢包給他爸媽
那時候我只是用開玩笑的口氣跟他說:我還有研究所的學費跟學分費要繳
昨天吵架我很明確的跟他說,不會因為結婚的時候你爸媽相對的比較好
在結婚之後他們就變成我爸媽,我會尊敬他們那是因為是你爸媽
我因為愛你所以我願意尊重他們,但是你有辦法像我這樣做嘛?
我先生只是不斷地無窮迴圈跳針說:他們結婚的時候對我還有我爸媽羞辱巴拉巴拉
我今天問了我姐,我姐只是淡淡地說,這也太被害妄想了吧
我已經不知道該怎麼辦
也許我PO出來還有人會噓我,我也會接受
目前為一想到的方式,就是跟去年一樣,除夕前一天跑去香港幾天避風頭
(對,去年因為提親雙方就鬧的很不愉快,我就跑去香港一個人過年)
我姐問我說:難道妳以後幾十年都要這樣出國嘛?
我也只能回答:不然妳要我怎麼辦???
我只能想說以出國的名義跟我爸媽說農曆初二沒有辦法回去,改一天再回去這樣了
--
Tags:
婚姻
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