連「討論」都不行? - 婚姻
By Todd Johnson
at 2019-12-08T09:18
at 2019-12-08T09:18
Table of Contents
謝謝版友諸多回覆
的確這整個事件就是個芝麻小事,
但我們夫妻就常常為了類似的芝麻事,言詞交鋒到不可開交。
我先說我就是老公。
我自我剖析會「討論」這個詞,可能有以下其中一二種潛意識的原因:
1. 我對台中科博館的行程安排不是百分百的把握,
(但至少有八成把握,因為曾去過多次),
例如時間、交通、活動對孩子體力的折損,
就真的是想徵詢第二意見。
2. 如果說去台中玩,然後萬一回來後孩子不幸感冒,
我事先有跟老婆討論過了,
才不會被怪罪都是我一意孤行,擔負百分百的責任。
(雖然也還是應該被罵啦,但至少鞭得輕一點)
3. 雖然活動我早就腹案,心意也八成已決,
用「告知」來跟老婆溝通也大致不失其意,
但使用「討論」就是想容許老婆的否定權,
這是種比較客氣的溝通用詞而已。
而老婆說,使用「討論」這個詞,讓她壓力很大,好像在公司開會。
在家裡,像這種芝麻小事也要討論,真的很煩。
後記: 我記得吵完之後,我也沒心情帶孩子去台中玩了,
老婆週六上課去,我和孩子在家裡社區閒晃一整天。
--
的確這整個事件就是個芝麻小事,
但我們夫妻就常常為了類似的芝麻事,言詞交鋒到不可開交。
我先說我就是老公。
我自我剖析會「討論」這個詞,可能有以下其中一二種潛意識的原因:
1. 我對台中科博館的行程安排不是百分百的把握,
(但至少有八成把握,因為曾去過多次),
例如時間、交通、活動對孩子體力的折損,
就真的是想徵詢第二意見。
2. 如果說去台中玩,然後萬一回來後孩子不幸感冒,
我事先有跟老婆討論過了,
才不會被怪罪都是我一意孤行,擔負百分百的責任。
(雖然也還是應該被罵啦,但至少鞭得輕一點)
3. 雖然活動我早就腹案,心意也八成已決,
用「告知」來跟老婆溝通也大致不失其意,
但使用「討論」就是想容許老婆的否定權,
這是種比較客氣的溝通用詞而已。
而老婆說,使用「討論」這個詞,讓她壓力很大,好像在公司開會。
在家裡,像這種芝麻小事也要討論,真的很煩。
後記: 我記得吵完之後,我也沒心情帶孩子去台中玩了,
老婆週六上課去,我和孩子在家裡社區閒晃一整天。
--
Tags:
婚姻
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