這樣的未婚夫是長不大嗎? - 婚姻

By Erin
at 2017-05-11T13:02
at 2017-05-11T13:02
Table of Contents
※此文為板主代Po,板主不代轉信給原發文者,請不要寄信來板主信箱※
目前與男友交往三年,去年底求婚,今年九月要結婚,要準備結婚後才把事情攤開來說後
發現未婚夫有幾個問題,看似還好但又覺得有隱憂不知道要怎麼溝通比較好?
1)未婚夫現在的薪水全交給爸媽管,自己自願領零用錢,據他說法是他爸媽會投資比他
自己存起來還要好!
要結婚前我覺得很OK,畢竟錢如果會變多,那有什麼不好?
但是因為要結婚了我就會想很多,他有提過他希望日後還是給爸媽管錢,雖然我比起他爸
媽算是比較會亂花錢,但是我就認為這樣不算是大人?不是ㄧ個小家庭的ㄧ家之主而是ㄧ
個還在爸媽保護下的小男孩。
目前都完全沒談到婚後金錢分配,如果讓未婚夫管錢,我也很OK,但是我就是沒辦法接受
他的薪水全部都還是爸媽來管,以後想到我們的家用都還要跟公婆報帳我就覺得無言,有
什麼方式可以跟未婚夫說這件事情可以圓滿的溝通?我另外有想過不然薪水的1/3給公婆
管,剩下的我們自己管,這樣方法可行嗎?
如果未婚夫很堅持要他爸媽管錢,或是他爸媽想維持現況該怎麼辦?
2)未婚夫是家人重於ㄧ切的人,婚前也是覺得這樣很好很孝順,但是也重於我啊...他爸
媽很寵他,基本上未婚夫是生活白癡,ㄧ切的日常用品(包含衣服、生活必需品)大部分
都是媽媽買好的,因為他不在意,只要能用就好了,有時候上班下雨他爸還會特地載他去
上班...(因為他上班地方較遠,尚未買車是他爸的車),但是都31歲的人了,這樣真的
好
嗎???這樣的媽寶,以後真的能長大當ㄧ家之主嗎?他能放掉爸媽對他的寵愛嗎?
這部份我真的不知道怎麼溝通?未婚夫還很驕傲的跟我說過爸媽寶不好嗎?
有爸媽靠當然很好!但是這種情況感覺很不妙啊
3)婚後會住在離未婚夫家不遠的房子,想當然爾週休二日的爸媽寶未婚夫ㄧ定會要求每
個禮拜甚至兩三天回家ㄧ次,但是我只想要有相敬如賓的美感啊... 這樣真的好不自在,
我下班就想在家耍廢,不想很緊繃的假笑面對公婆啊......而且他回去也是吃飯自己玩電
腦
,這部份能怎麼調適不要ㄧ直婚後還是勤回家呢?
我希望我未婚夫不要ㄧ直想靠爸媽
不要ㄧ直想要爸媽的寵愛
不要ㄧ直想要爸媽能給他的資源
而是能好好的自己管錢
能當好ㄧ個能當靠山的好老公
想要他長大
這部份我不知道怎麼表達
我有稍微跟他說過
你這樣都還是活在爸媽的羽翼下
這樣的你跟學生的你有什麼不同?
只是讀書換成了工作
就是覺得目前看起來他就沒有長大
這真的好煩惱!!!
不要叫我不結婚
我只是想請問各位有沒有什麼好方法?
亦或只是ㄧ切都是我想太多呢??
有沒有人的老公也是長不大的感覺呢?
版上有沒有人有類似狀況可以分享呢?
※此文為板主代Po,板主不代轉信給原發文者,請不要寄信來板主信箱※
--
Tags:
婚姻
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