當一方說他不快樂 - 婚姻
By Oscar
at 2018-09-20T13:23
at 2018-09-20T13:23
Table of Contents
看完這篇真的感觸頗深,因為我也曾經像原po一樣,沒在關鍵時刻就發現問題,雖然後續
結果不太一樣。
我也曾經認為是個非常幸運且幸福的人,我身體不是很好,第一胎因為安胎關係便離職了
,但後來還是小產,當時先生很心疼便讓我好好休養然後再把孩子生回來,他會好好照顧
我希望我不要工作了。幸運的隔年我就真的又懷孕了,也生了一個寶貝女兒,開始了全職
媽媽這個角色。
平時在家我一週煮三天(還有副食品)沒煮的時候弟弟會買(我弟弟一起住),假日先生
會帶我們出去走走,再買當週的菜備妥,我自己無交通工具,大部分都在家陪孩子居多(
當時一歲),家事基本上都是我在處理,當時先生也會常常買早餐回來給我(他是業務)
,我一直跟他說不需要因為我都可以自理,但他也都說我很辛苦沒關係,我真的很感動又
幸福,我只要求他可以一週幫孩子洗澡一次,偶爾在我很忙的時候幫忙處理一些事情,像
是偶爾的洗一兩隻奶瓶、吃完收一下垃圾等等,而我這自認為簡單幸福的小生活就在他認
識了新朋友後逐漸改變。
他認為新朋友的老婆很厲害,他開始覺得我很沒用,為什麼會需要到他動手幫忙的時候,
覺得他工作很辛苦為什麼還要煩惱我們,孩子生病、預防針去醫院應該我自己去(搭計程
車)買菜我自己買,孩子睡了我為什麼不上進讀書要看影片滑手機,為什麼很多家事不能
都在孩子睡著之後再做(這樣不用麻煩他看孩子),覺得我對家庭沒貢獻不工作,他想賺
更多錢給孩子更好的生活,於是他開始晚歸說要跟新朋友晚上創業(白天一樣工作),我
要求他12點前回家也會被罵說阻礙他賺錢,朋友老婆都全力支持,但當時的我只想要安穩
生活,孩子三歲我就去上班,只希望他身體健康罷了!但在他的堅持下,幾乎天天凌晨三
四點才回家,野心越來越大,更是瞧不起我這個在家帶孩子的全職媽媽,認為我不長進不
想有錢不進取。
後來我受不了了,決定提前就業,把孩子託給了娘家媽媽幫忙,由於先生基本不在家,重
心也不放在我們身上,我只能找一份離家近上下班準時的工作好隨時接手照顧孩子,可是
狀況依舊,因為他覺得我薪水差,而他想要當有錢人,所以他堅持他的投資創業路,就在
雙方觀念漸行漸遠後,我也累了。
後來,其實他就是外遇了。以往種種的批評嫌棄與責備,就是一種藉口,在他朋友同事眼
中,我也是一個廢物老婆,知道真相是痛苦的,我也曾深深反省自己,是不是當時哪裡做
得不夠好,但原po請不要一直責怪自己,或許雙方都有問題,可另一半在遇到狀況時不提
出來,其實真的很容易錯過改善狀況的時間點,妳接下來要讓自己過的更好,讓自己成為
更好的人,經過這些事妳更能知道自己哪邊要加強不是嗎?妳還有孩子呀!或許先分開對
雙方都好,祝福妳!
--
結果不太一樣。
我也曾經認為是個非常幸運且幸福的人,我身體不是很好,第一胎因為安胎關係便離職了
,但後來還是小產,當時先生很心疼便讓我好好休養然後再把孩子生回來,他會好好照顧
我希望我不要工作了。幸運的隔年我就真的又懷孕了,也生了一個寶貝女兒,開始了全職
媽媽這個角色。
平時在家我一週煮三天(還有副食品)沒煮的時候弟弟會買(我弟弟一起住),假日先生
會帶我們出去走走,再買當週的菜備妥,我自己無交通工具,大部分都在家陪孩子居多(
當時一歲),家事基本上都是我在處理,當時先生也會常常買早餐回來給我(他是業務)
,我一直跟他說不需要因為我都可以自理,但他也都說我很辛苦沒關係,我真的很感動又
幸福,我只要求他可以一週幫孩子洗澡一次,偶爾在我很忙的時候幫忙處理一些事情,像
是偶爾的洗一兩隻奶瓶、吃完收一下垃圾等等,而我這自認為簡單幸福的小生活就在他認
識了新朋友後逐漸改變。
他認為新朋友的老婆很厲害,他開始覺得我很沒用,為什麼會需要到他動手幫忙的時候,
覺得他工作很辛苦為什麼還要煩惱我們,孩子生病、預防針去醫院應該我自己去(搭計程
車)買菜我自己買,孩子睡了我為什麼不上進讀書要看影片滑手機,為什麼很多家事不能
都在孩子睡著之後再做(這樣不用麻煩他看孩子),覺得我對家庭沒貢獻不工作,他想賺
更多錢給孩子更好的生活,於是他開始晚歸說要跟新朋友晚上創業(白天一樣工作),我
要求他12點前回家也會被罵說阻礙他賺錢,朋友老婆都全力支持,但當時的我只想要安穩
生活,孩子三歲我就去上班,只希望他身體健康罷了!但在他的堅持下,幾乎天天凌晨三
四點才回家,野心越來越大,更是瞧不起我這個在家帶孩子的全職媽媽,認為我不長進不
想有錢不進取。
後來我受不了了,決定提前就業,把孩子託給了娘家媽媽幫忙,由於先生基本不在家,重
心也不放在我們身上,我只能找一份離家近上下班準時的工作好隨時接手照顧孩子,可是
狀況依舊,因為他覺得我薪水差,而他想要當有錢人,所以他堅持他的投資創業路,就在
雙方觀念漸行漸遠後,我也累了。
後來,其實他就是外遇了。以往種種的批評嫌棄與責備,就是一種藉口,在他朋友同事眼
中,我也是一個廢物老婆,知道真相是痛苦的,我也曾深深反省自己,是不是當時哪裡做
得不夠好,但原po請不要一直責怪自己,或許雙方都有問題,可另一半在遇到狀況時不提
出來,其實真的很容易錯過改善狀況的時間點,妳接下來要讓自己過的更好,讓自己成為
更好的人,經過這些事妳更能知道自己哪邊要加強不是嗎?妳還有孩子呀!或許先分開對
雙方都好,祝福妳!
--
Tags:
婚姻
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at 2018-09-20T12:18
at 2018-09-20T12:18
當一方說他不快樂
By Bennie
at 2018-09-20T11:29
at 2018-09-20T11:29
覺得有點委屈了
By Lauren
at 2018-09-20T10:41
at 2018-09-20T10:41