男人的肩膀 - 婚姻

By Delia
at 2012-09-23T16:32
at 2012-09-23T16:32
Table of Contents
本篇為代po
本篇為代po
本篇為代po
********************
結婚10多年了
我有2個孩子
我在園區當高階主管 老婆是家庭主婦
我們在美國認識
畢業後留在美國工作了幾年才回台灣
我自認對老婆孩子非常好
即便我是主管
只要project沒有太緊急時
我幾乎都是六七點就會回家陪家人
我的父母都離開了
過年過節都是跟著老婆的家人一起
工作方面 我會盡快把事情都處理好
從外表看起來 我的生活人人稱羨
但我累了
我發現這一切都是假象
我已經無力維繫了
我老婆娘家環境非常好
她從小就過著物質不于匱乏的生活
但心中卻很缺乏父母親的愛
我對她很好 她自己也知道
她常說因為認識了我 讓她變成了一個笨蛋
連電腦都不會用
從交往開始 只要是她的要求
我都盡力完成
她要錢 甚至不用開口
我都會自己注意她錢花完沒
如果她忽然買了個名牌包
我隔天就會立刻領錢給她
以免她錢不夠用
因為她被我照顧到
連提款卡都懶得辦
從來都是我領錢給她
但她覺得這沒什麼
因為他父母給她的物質享受更優渥
她常說我沒用賺太少
她以前光置裝費一季就是十幾萬
現在跟著我吃苦她很可憐
我是沒有她父親這麼會賺錢
但我年薪也有近300萬
我還在努力工作中
希望能賺更多錢帶給家人更好的生活
除了生孩子這件事情
我無法幫她做
但我也努力地滿足她一切需求
盡量減低她的痛苦
她脾氣本來就不好 但都還在我的忍受範圍
關係開始變質
來自於她瘋狂地想要第二胎
當時她每天認真地算排卵期
只要時間一到
不論我在上班在開會
她一通電話 我就要立刻趕回家辦事
如果辦事時反應不好 她就會很生氣
就這樣努力之下
第二胎孩子誕生了
她說等這孩子長大後 她決定再領養一個
多了一個孩子後 她的工作變繁重了
我盡量早點下班回家幫忙
但能幫的還是很有限
她越來越無法控制情緒
以前她只會這樣對我
現在我發現孩子長大了
不再像小時候那樣好控制
她會開始對孩子發洩情緒
大吵大鬧全家尖叫是小兒科
和我吵架時打我巴掌也是家常便飯
有一次她甚至掐我脖子叫我去死
上次罵孩子時 她情緒失控
把7歲女兒的馬尾整個往上拉 拉起孩子
接著痛打孩子十幾巴掌
打完後 她很內疚很自責
孩子年紀還小 忘得快
也沒有生媽媽的氣
而她經常嫌我錢賺得少
她常說我這輩子都不可能賺得像他父親一樣多
她痛恨我的家人
我父親在我認識她前就過世了
她還是經常抓我父親出來鞭屍
之前我去老家把老家東西收拾好搬回現居處
她在我上班時
丟光所有我的東西
包括我家人們的照片以及我在家所有的物品
她說她只是整理房子沒有惡意
整個家我唯一擁有的雜物只有半個衣櫥
其他沒有一樣是我的東西
我沒有櫃子沒有書房......
我母親更是她的眼中釘
但我都選擇站在她那邊
因為我知道父母的感情是不會變得
而她,是我的選擇我的妻子
我必須要保護她
有一次她和我母親爭執
我母親跪著求她不要生氣了並說明自己立刻會離開
只希望她平靜消氣
我在旁邊也沒罵她
只是默默地把母親送走
事後她並不覺得她有錯
反而告訴自己的姊妹說我很沒用
這樣還不肯離婚
八成是覬覦他們家豐厚的遺產
沒錯,我是很沒用
因為我相信自己的選擇
我決定要和她結婚答應過要照顧她一輩子
我無法背棄自己的承諾
即便她三天兩頭就和我提離婚
我還是堅持不要
直到半年前
我開始認真思考
或許和我在一起 她真的不快樂
所以我改口了
當她提出離婚時 我告訴她我可以想想
如果她是認真的 我會考慮答應
她暴跳如雷 覺得我有外遇或是有其他的鬼主意
我說我沒有 我只是希望她真的能快樂
幾次爭吵後
她告訴我其實她有多愛我多不能沒有我
她只是不會表達自己的愛
她說當我真的要離開時 她才驚覺她不能沒有我
我已經弄不清楚我到底愛不愛她了
但當我看到我們一起建立的房子及可愛的孩子時
我覺得我放不下這一切
但面對她 我已經不知道什麼是快樂
我總是選擇逃避衝突來換取平靜的生活
以前我嘗試過和她溝通
但她永遠只聽自己想聽的話
衝突只會越演越烈
現在我選擇沉默和順從
外人總說她有個很完美的老公
她自己也很得意
但其實她沒有親密的朋友
因為她總是害怕太親密的人
會發現她在家中的秘密
會知道她其實一點也不快樂
我是男人 我有肩膀要承擔這個家
但我真的累了
我想問問大家
在這樣的情況
如果有一天我真的答應離婚
是不是就表示我是個沒有肩膀的男人?
補充一下:
原po已經提過很多次要看醫生
但老婆不肯
老婆認為自己有憂鬱症但不願意去醫院
老婆那天為了證明自己沒病有能力領養孩子
告訴原po其實自己平常都很快樂
病是假裝的
她說她怕自己如果表現出快樂的樣子
會被覺得整天在家很閒
甚至老公就會不疼她不容忍她了
但平常她又老是會拿自己的病來當理由
說自己無法控制都是因為生病了
所以現在原po已經搞不清楚老婆到底有沒有病
更弄不清自己到底還愛不愛老婆了
--
本篇為代po
本篇為代po
********************
結婚10多年了
我有2個孩子
我在園區當高階主管 老婆是家庭主婦
我們在美國認識
畢業後留在美國工作了幾年才回台灣
我自認對老婆孩子非常好
即便我是主管
只要project沒有太緊急時
我幾乎都是六七點就會回家陪家人
我的父母都離開了
過年過節都是跟著老婆的家人一起
工作方面 我會盡快把事情都處理好
從外表看起來 我的生活人人稱羨
但我累了
我發現這一切都是假象
我已經無力維繫了
我老婆娘家環境非常好
她從小就過著物質不于匱乏的生活
但心中卻很缺乏父母親的愛
我對她很好 她自己也知道
她常說因為認識了我 讓她變成了一個笨蛋
連電腦都不會用
從交往開始 只要是她的要求
我都盡力完成
她要錢 甚至不用開口
我都會自己注意她錢花完沒
如果她忽然買了個名牌包
我隔天就會立刻領錢給她
以免她錢不夠用
因為她被我照顧到
連提款卡都懶得辦
從來都是我領錢給她
但她覺得這沒什麼
因為他父母給她的物質享受更優渥
她常說我沒用賺太少
她以前光置裝費一季就是十幾萬
現在跟著我吃苦她很可憐
我是沒有她父親這麼會賺錢
但我年薪也有近300萬
我還在努力工作中
希望能賺更多錢帶給家人更好的生活
除了生孩子這件事情
我無法幫她做
但我也努力地滿足她一切需求
盡量減低她的痛苦
她脾氣本來就不好 但都還在我的忍受範圍
關係開始變質
來自於她瘋狂地想要第二胎
當時她每天認真地算排卵期
只要時間一到
不論我在上班在開會
她一通電話 我就要立刻趕回家辦事
如果辦事時反應不好 她就會很生氣
就這樣努力之下
第二胎孩子誕生了
她說等這孩子長大後 她決定再領養一個
多了一個孩子後 她的工作變繁重了
我盡量早點下班回家幫忙
但能幫的還是很有限
她越來越無法控制情緒
以前她只會這樣對我
現在我發現孩子長大了
不再像小時候那樣好控制
她會開始對孩子發洩情緒
大吵大鬧全家尖叫是小兒科
和我吵架時打我巴掌也是家常便飯
有一次她甚至掐我脖子叫我去死
上次罵孩子時 她情緒失控
把7歲女兒的馬尾整個往上拉 拉起孩子
接著痛打孩子十幾巴掌
打完後 她很內疚很自責
孩子年紀還小 忘得快
也沒有生媽媽的氣
而她經常嫌我錢賺得少
她常說我這輩子都不可能賺得像他父親一樣多
她痛恨我的家人
我父親在我認識她前就過世了
她還是經常抓我父親出來鞭屍
之前我去老家把老家東西收拾好搬回現居處
她在我上班時
丟光所有我的東西
包括我家人們的照片以及我在家所有的物品
她說她只是整理房子沒有惡意
整個家我唯一擁有的雜物只有半個衣櫥
其他沒有一樣是我的東西
我沒有櫃子沒有書房......
我母親更是她的眼中釘
但我都選擇站在她那邊
因為我知道父母的感情是不會變得
而她,是我的選擇我的妻子
我必須要保護她
有一次她和我母親爭執
我母親跪著求她不要生氣了並說明自己立刻會離開
只希望她平靜消氣
我在旁邊也沒罵她
只是默默地把母親送走
事後她並不覺得她有錯
反而告訴自己的姊妹說我很沒用
這樣還不肯離婚
八成是覬覦他們家豐厚的遺產
沒錯,我是很沒用
因為我相信自己的選擇
我決定要和她結婚答應過要照顧她一輩子
我無法背棄自己的承諾
即便她三天兩頭就和我提離婚
我還是堅持不要
直到半年前
我開始認真思考
或許和我在一起 她真的不快樂
所以我改口了
當她提出離婚時 我告訴她我可以想想
如果她是認真的 我會考慮答應
她暴跳如雷 覺得我有外遇或是有其他的鬼主意
我說我沒有 我只是希望她真的能快樂
幾次爭吵後
她告訴我其實她有多愛我多不能沒有我
她只是不會表達自己的愛
她說當我真的要離開時 她才驚覺她不能沒有我
我已經弄不清楚我到底愛不愛她了
但當我看到我們一起建立的房子及可愛的孩子時
我覺得我放不下這一切
但面對她 我已經不知道什麼是快樂
我總是選擇逃避衝突來換取平靜的生活
以前我嘗試過和她溝通
但她永遠只聽自己想聽的話
衝突只會越演越烈
現在我選擇沉默和順從
外人總說她有個很完美的老公
她自己也很得意
但其實她沒有親密的朋友
因為她總是害怕太親密的人
會發現她在家中的秘密
會知道她其實一點也不快樂
我是男人 我有肩膀要承擔這個家
但我真的累了
我想問問大家
在這樣的情況
如果有一天我真的答應離婚
是不是就表示我是個沒有肩膀的男人?
補充一下:
原po已經提過很多次要看醫生
但老婆不肯
老婆認為自己有憂鬱症但不願意去醫院
老婆那天為了證明自己沒病有能力領養孩子
告訴原po其實自己平常都很快樂
病是假裝的
她說她怕自己如果表現出快樂的樣子
會被覺得整天在家很閒
甚至老公就會不疼她不容忍她了
但平常她又老是會拿自己的病來當理由
說自己無法控制都是因為生病了
所以現在原po已經搞不清楚老婆到底有沒有病
更弄不清自己到底還愛不愛老婆了
--
Tags:
婚姻
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