滿月危機 - 婚姻

By Adele
at 2017-02-17T00:51
at 2017-02-17T00:51
Table of Contents
文長慎入
在敘述主題前先大略介紹一下我與老婆的狀況
我是媒體業自由接案工作者,忙時很忙閒時很閒
(年收入不高但至少有600-800k)
老婆是碩三研究生順利的話今夏可畢業
是的,我們是先有後婚,但決定生下來之後
我們只有先到戶政機關登記,婚紗及婚宴都還沒完成
雙方家長得知後也都樂觀其成,沒有給雙方任何壓力
交往近三年開銷幾乎是我全部負責,她也一直住在我家
我們就一直帶著期待快樂的渡過了十個月的孕期
生產完在月中那陣子也還相當愉快(因為卡到除夕的關係我們只住10天)
但回家之後陸續發生了一些問題,導致現在幾乎鬧到要離婚了
我大概整理出三個重點,希望版友能不吝指點迷津
1.人生改變問題
老婆最近心態上出現了一個讓我束手無策的問題
她總是認為有小孩後我還是可以過我本來的人生
她卻只能跟小孩綁在一起,因為她堅持親密法親餵完全離不開
這段時間我除了工作需要會出門,其餘時間都待在家裡待命
但每次出門回來都會被她抱怨我過很爽,都能過本來的生活
是那種非常忿忿不平的抱怨,說不想一個人顧小孩
被她這樣說我真的是非常無奈,雖然目前是還有些積蓄
但是目前所有開銷我都得ㄧ肩扛的情況下
沒有持續的案子進來增加收入真的會讓我坐立難安
我也有提過如果她想過本來的生活也可以,就全部我來帶
我需要工作時就先找日托或麻煩我爸媽,其實我爸媽也很喜歡帶
但是她也不願意,甚至認為我爸媽會跟她搶小孩
那我說我請位保母在我外出工作時陪她一起顧,也遭否決
請她提出方案我配合她,也不肯講,整個無解
現在有點開始害怕出門工作後回家還要面對這些
2.計較誰對孩子付出比較多
我知道親密法全親餵真的很辛苦
所以我幫她做完剩下的月子這段時間
洗衣做飯打掃由我全部包辦(工作上剛好是淡季)
月子期間我只缺席三天都是為了工作
因為月子中心的媽媽教室我不能參加,而且我們是第一胎
所以孩子接回家後的照顧方式是以她為主,我當副手
我從不排斥為孩子做任何事
獨立完成幫孩子洗澡、瓶餵、換尿布、肛溫、臍帶護理
這些基本的事我都很上手,因為孩子真的很可愛
甚至是哭鬧我都覺得很可愛
但她總覺得我們做這些事她都不放心
常在旁邊指責我,搞到我都快沒信心了,所以變得被動
接著就被質疑我什麼事都不做,都她一個人做
我也曾表示過,只要我在家,任何吩咐我都照辦
但她只要脾氣來了就賭氣不讓我幫忙,叫我滾然後開始酸言酸語
真的完全找不到切入點,尤其超級排斥我爸媽幫忙
我爸媽已經非常不干涉任何我們的育兒方式了
真的只是不希望她太辛苦,但我每天都在挨罵
3.娘家問題
我跟丈母娘處得還不錯
因為她比較獨立,所以交往期間住進我家後
就很少回家,也很少讓家裡了解近況
在丈母娘認識我之後有了我的聯絡方式
就比較常透過我關心她,希望透過我傳遞些訊息給她
但她非常排斥這樣的方式,甚至希望她媽別再找我
老實說丈母娘真的沒有找得很頻繁,多是些重點式的關心
這兩天丈人住院開刀,她甚至因爲丈母娘請我問她何時過去探望
一度賭氣說不過去探望了,真的感到非常為難
總結
最近因爲這些問題吵到有些絕望
加上吵架時她比較口不擇言一些,真的已經到了臨界點了
說實在的,起心動念我沒有任何瞧不起全職媽媽的意思
但是比較起在職場上沒日沒夜的辛勞(我有時工時偏長)
能無後顧之憂的全心照顧孩子陪孩子成長真的幸福多了
如果能讓我跟她角色互換,我真的願意
現在景氣不好各行各業都很競爭
我真的完全沒有把握這段時間先把客戶丟一邊
靠也不是非常多的積蓄全心HOLD在家裡
但又被嗆養不起就不要生呀......唉
真的感到很無力,望各位前輩指點迷津
--
在敘述主題前先大略介紹一下我與老婆的狀況
我是媒體業自由接案工作者,忙時很忙閒時很閒
(年收入不高但至少有600-800k)
老婆是碩三研究生順利的話今夏可畢業
是的,我們是先有後婚,但決定生下來之後
我們只有先到戶政機關登記,婚紗及婚宴都還沒完成
雙方家長得知後也都樂觀其成,沒有給雙方任何壓力
交往近三年開銷幾乎是我全部負責,她也一直住在我家
我們就一直帶著期待快樂的渡過了十個月的孕期
生產完在月中那陣子也還相當愉快(因為卡到除夕的關係我們只住10天)
但回家之後陸續發生了一些問題,導致現在幾乎鬧到要離婚了
我大概整理出三個重點,希望版友能不吝指點迷津
1.人生改變問題
老婆最近心態上出現了一個讓我束手無策的問題
她總是認為有小孩後我還是可以過我本來的人生
她卻只能跟小孩綁在一起,因為她堅持親密法親餵完全離不開
這段時間我除了工作需要會出門,其餘時間都待在家裡待命
但每次出門回來都會被她抱怨我過很爽,都能過本來的生活
是那種非常忿忿不平的抱怨,說不想一個人顧小孩
被她這樣說我真的是非常無奈,雖然目前是還有些積蓄
但是目前所有開銷我都得ㄧ肩扛的情況下
沒有持續的案子進來增加收入真的會讓我坐立難安
我也有提過如果她想過本來的生活也可以,就全部我來帶
我需要工作時就先找日托或麻煩我爸媽,其實我爸媽也很喜歡帶
但是她也不願意,甚至認為我爸媽會跟她搶小孩
那我說我請位保母在我外出工作時陪她一起顧,也遭否決
請她提出方案我配合她,也不肯講,整個無解
現在有點開始害怕出門工作後回家還要面對這些
2.計較誰對孩子付出比較多
我知道親密法全親餵真的很辛苦
所以我幫她做完剩下的月子這段時間
洗衣做飯打掃由我全部包辦(工作上剛好是淡季)
月子期間我只缺席三天都是為了工作
因為月子中心的媽媽教室我不能參加,而且我們是第一胎
所以孩子接回家後的照顧方式是以她為主,我當副手
我從不排斥為孩子做任何事
獨立完成幫孩子洗澡、瓶餵、換尿布、肛溫、臍帶護理
這些基本的事我都很上手,因為孩子真的很可愛
甚至是哭鬧我都覺得很可愛
但她總覺得我們做這些事她都不放心
常在旁邊指責我,搞到我都快沒信心了,所以變得被動
接著就被質疑我什麼事都不做,都她一個人做
我也曾表示過,只要我在家,任何吩咐我都照辦
但她只要脾氣來了就賭氣不讓我幫忙,叫我滾然後開始酸言酸語
真的完全找不到切入點,尤其超級排斥我爸媽幫忙
我爸媽已經非常不干涉任何我們的育兒方式了
真的只是不希望她太辛苦,但我每天都在挨罵
3.娘家問題
我跟丈母娘處得還不錯
因為她比較獨立,所以交往期間住進我家後
就很少回家,也很少讓家裡了解近況
在丈母娘認識我之後有了我的聯絡方式
就比較常透過我關心她,希望透過我傳遞些訊息給她
但她非常排斥這樣的方式,甚至希望她媽別再找我
老實說丈母娘真的沒有找得很頻繁,多是些重點式的關心
這兩天丈人住院開刀,她甚至因爲丈母娘請我問她何時過去探望
一度賭氣說不過去探望了,真的感到非常為難
總結
最近因爲這些問題吵到有些絕望
加上吵架時她比較口不擇言一些,真的已經到了臨界點了
說實在的,起心動念我沒有任何瞧不起全職媽媽的意思
但是比較起在職場上沒日沒夜的辛勞(我有時工時偏長)
能無後顧之憂的全心照顧孩子陪孩子成長真的幸福多了
如果能讓我跟她角色互換,我真的願意
現在景氣不好各行各業都很競爭
我真的完全沒有把握這段時間先把客戶丟一邊
靠也不是非常多的積蓄全心HOLD在家裡
但又被嗆養不起就不要生呀......唉
真的感到很無力,望各位前輩指點迷津
--
Tags:
婚姻
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at 2018-01-30T23:34

By Poppy
at 2018-02-01T19:57
at 2018-02-01T19:57

By Andy
at 2018-02-06T10:09
at 2018-02-06T10:09

By Skylar Davis
at 2018-02-08T11:29
at 2018-02-08T11:29

By Daph Bay
at 2018-02-09T03:07
at 2018-02-09T03:07

By Andy
at 2018-02-09T20:22
at 2018-02-09T20:22

By Edith
at 2018-02-14T01:11
at 2018-02-14T01:11

By Dorothy
at 2018-02-15T13:54
at 2018-02-15T13:54

By Tracy
at 2018-02-15T22:22
at 2018-02-15T22:22

By Hedy
at 2018-02-16T03:20
at 2018-02-16T03:20

By Dorothy
at 2018-02-18T07:20
at 2018-02-18T07:20

By Ophelia
at 2018-02-22T01:32
at 2018-02-22T01:32

By Erin
at 2018-02-26T04:37
at 2018-02-26T04:37

By Ula
at 2018-03-01T18:44
at 2018-03-01T18:44

By Quanna
at 2018-03-04T05:22
at 2018-03-04T05:22

By Tristan Cohan
at 2018-03-05T03:15
at 2018-03-05T03:15

By Hedwig
at 2018-03-07T09:43
at 2018-03-07T09:43

By Faithe
at 2018-03-08T13:12
at 2018-03-08T13:12

By Carolina Franco
at 2018-03-10T04:39
at 2018-03-10T04:39

By Lauren
at 2018-03-13T06:06
at 2018-03-13T06:06

By Audriana
at 2018-03-15T09:53
at 2018-03-15T09:53

By Audriana
at 2018-03-20T05:07
at 2018-03-20T05:07

By Una
at 2018-03-22T22:06
at 2018-03-22T22:06

By Jake
at 2018-03-25T08:50
at 2018-03-25T08:50

By Oscar
at 2018-03-29T21:32
at 2018-03-29T21:32

By Quintina
at 2018-03-31T14:28
at 2018-03-31T14:28

By James
at 2018-04-02T03:05
at 2018-04-02T03:05

By Daph Bay
at 2018-04-04T13:21
at 2018-04-04T13:21

By Frederica
at 2018-04-05T04:02
at 2018-04-05T04:02

By Kelly
at 2018-04-10T03:17
at 2018-04-10T03:17

By Annie
at 2018-04-15T02:09
at 2018-04-15T02:09

By Donna
at 2018-04-18T23:51
at 2018-04-18T23:51

By Bethany
at 2018-04-21T02:07
at 2018-04-21T02:07

By Suhail Hany
at 2018-04-22T14:25
at 2018-04-22T14:25

By Jacob
at 2018-04-25T18:56
at 2018-04-25T18:56

By Harry
at 2018-04-26T03:15
at 2018-04-26T03:15

By Rebecca
at 2018-04-27T07:19
at 2018-04-27T07:19

By Adele
at 2018-04-29T17:36
at 2018-04-29T17:36

By Sandy
at 2018-05-04T00:53
at 2018-05-04T00:53

By Kyle
at 2018-05-06T04:13
at 2018-05-06T04:13

By Elizabeth
at 2018-05-06T18:50
at 2018-05-06T18:50

By Thomas
at 2018-05-11T05:44
at 2018-05-11T05:44

By Barb Cronin
at 2018-05-14T12:20
at 2018-05-14T12:20

By Linda
at 2018-05-17T14:33
at 2018-05-17T14:33

By Linda
at 2018-05-20T05:11
at 2018-05-20T05:11

By Gilbert
at 2018-05-22T20:41
at 2018-05-22T20:41

By Elizabeth
at 2018-05-25T16:06
at 2018-05-25T16:06

By John
at 2018-05-29T18:44
at 2018-05-29T18:44

By Olivia
at 2018-05-30T11:59
at 2018-05-30T11:59

By Dora
at 2018-06-04T08:47
at 2018-06-04T08:47

By Hamiltion
at 2018-06-05T22:54
at 2018-06-05T22:54

By Mary
at 2018-06-09T15:21
at 2018-06-09T15:21

By Elvira
at 2018-06-10T11:31
at 2018-06-10T11:31

By Genevieve
at 2018-06-13T09:44
at 2018-06-13T09:44

By Hazel
at 2018-06-18T00:57
at 2018-06-18T00:57

By Susan
at 2018-06-19T13:11
at 2018-06-19T13:11

By Yuri
at 2018-06-20T20:41
at 2018-06-20T20:41

By Erin
at 2018-06-22T05:59
at 2018-06-22T05:59

By Joe
at 2018-06-26T19:17
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By Mason
at 2018-06-28T23:27
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By Regina
at 2018-06-30T17:15
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By Skylar Davis
at 2018-07-04T14:55
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By Agatha
at 2018-07-08T23:34
at 2018-07-08T23:34

By Iris
at 2018-07-11T02:51
at 2018-07-11T02:51

By Xanthe
at 2018-07-11T09:24
at 2018-07-11T09:24

By Blanche
at 2018-07-12T06:32
at 2018-07-12T06:32

By Donna
at 2018-07-13T18:42
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By Sarah
at 2018-07-17T10:47
at 2018-07-17T10:47

By Ida
at 2018-07-19T08:00
at 2018-07-19T08:00

By Heather
at 2018-07-22T15:49
at 2018-07-22T15:49

By Annie
at 2018-07-24T21:23
at 2018-07-24T21:23

By Erin
at 2018-07-28T16:31
at 2018-07-28T16:31

By Ursula
at 2018-07-30T21:16
at 2018-07-30T21:16

By Eden
at 2018-07-31T23:51
at 2018-07-31T23:51

By Jacky
at 2018-08-04T08:41
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By Hedy
at 2018-08-07T12:44
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By Ethan
at 2018-08-11T11:09
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at 2018-08-15T12:29
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By Jacky
at 2018-08-19T20:13
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By Zora
at 2018-08-20T01:13
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By Donna
at 2018-08-24T20:20
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By Vanessa
at 2018-08-25T02:48
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By Olga
at 2018-08-28T08:17
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By Kumar
at 2018-09-02T07:01
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By Liam
at 2018-09-06T12:19
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By Hamiltion
at 2018-09-10T09:00
at 2018-09-10T09:00

By Hamiltion
at 2018-09-13T08:12
at 2018-09-13T08:12

By Agatha
at 2018-09-15T09:16
at 2018-09-15T09:16

By Ida
at 2018-09-20T08:22
at 2018-09-20T08:22

By Carol
at 2018-09-22T22:21
at 2018-09-22T22:21

By Susan
at 2018-09-23T01:55
at 2018-09-23T01:55

By Andrew
at 2018-09-27T05:16
at 2018-09-27T05:16

By Tracy
at 2018-09-28T08:20
at 2018-09-28T08:20

By Harry
at 2018-09-30T03:52
at 2018-09-30T03:52

By Hamiltion
at 2018-09-30T15:57
at 2018-09-30T15:57

By Hedy
at 2018-10-01T21:56
at 2018-10-01T21:56

By Todd Johnson
at 2018-10-04T12:21
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By Brianna
at 2018-10-08T03:40
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By Olivia
at 2018-10-08T22:32
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By Zora
at 2018-10-09T07:34
at 2018-10-09T07:34

By Genevieve
at 2018-10-10T21:02
at 2018-10-10T21:02

By Todd Johnson
at 2018-10-13T14:45
at 2018-10-13T14:45

By Rebecca
at 2018-10-17T23:38
at 2018-10-17T23:38

By John
at 2018-10-18T21:41
at 2018-10-18T21:41

By James
at 2018-10-19T01:51
at 2018-10-19T01:51

By Emily
at 2018-10-21T20:40
at 2018-10-21T20:40

By Mia
at 2018-10-23T14:58
at 2018-10-23T14:58

By Edwina
at 2018-10-27T23:52
at 2018-10-27T23:52

By Frederic
at 2018-10-31T21:55
at 2018-10-31T21:55

By John
at 2018-11-02T03:47
at 2018-11-02T03:47

By Wallis
at 2018-11-05T01:40
at 2018-11-05T01:40

By Regina
at 2018-11-07T05:04
at 2018-11-07T05:04

By Cara
at 2018-11-09T17:15
at 2018-11-09T17:15

By George
at 2018-11-13T23:44
at 2018-11-13T23:44

By Kelly
at 2018-11-16T22:12
at 2018-11-16T22:12

By Yedda
at 2018-11-18T12:46
at 2018-11-18T12:46

By Kristin
at 2018-11-19T01:45
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By Rae
at 2018-11-20T02:42
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By Agnes
at 2018-11-24T02:00
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By Xanthe
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By Sandy
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By Franklin
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By Frederic
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By Jack
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By Lily
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By Lucy
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By Kristin
at 2018-12-14T14:08
at 2018-12-14T14:08

By Ursula
at 2018-12-16T00:19
at 2018-12-16T00:19

By Rachel
at 2018-12-19T15:37
at 2018-12-19T15:37

By Ingrid
at 2018-12-19T20:15
at 2018-12-19T20:15

By Doris
at 2018-12-20T01:12
at 2018-12-20T01:12

By Edith
at 2018-12-22T08:56
at 2018-12-22T08:56

By Anthony
at 2018-12-25T06:50
at 2018-12-25T06:50

By Olga
at 2018-12-29T13:07
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By Isabella
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By Joseph
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By Adele
at 2019-01-14T00:06
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By Delia
at 2019-01-16T11:14
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By Heather
at 2019-01-16T13:49
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By Aaliyah
at 2019-01-18T03:11
at 2019-01-18T03:11

By Quanna
at 2019-01-20T12:25
at 2019-01-20T12:25

By Robert
at 2019-01-20T17:28
at 2019-01-20T17:28

By Linda
at 2019-01-23T11:42
at 2019-01-23T11:42

By Jake
at 2019-01-26T03:43
at 2019-01-26T03:43

By Linda
at 2019-01-30T14:52
at 2019-01-30T14:52

By Doris
at 2019-02-03T20:24
at 2019-02-03T20:24

By Suhail Hany
at 2019-02-06T14:32
at 2019-02-06T14:32

By Gary
at 2019-02-09T16:55
at 2019-02-09T16:55

By Ursula
at 2019-02-12T21:19
at 2019-02-12T21:19

By Enid
at 2019-02-17T03:57
at 2019-02-17T03:57

By Erin
at 2019-02-21T01:30
at 2019-02-21T01:30

By Leila
at 2019-02-25T03:34
at 2019-02-25T03:34

By Agnes
at 2019-02-25T10:50
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By Olga
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By Carolina Franco
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By Tristan Cohan
at 2019-03-02T09:44
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By Hardy
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By Ingrid
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By Yuri
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By Dinah
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By Mason
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