我終於說了那個字眼,然後... - 婚姻
By Una
at 2011-08-16T11:11
at 2011-08-16T11:11
Table of Contents
※ 引述《yutsenlin (;))》之銘言:
恕刪...
: 沒有高潔的情操和奉獻的精神最好不要和你這樣有創傷的人在一起
: 不然哪怕只是一般人的反應, 沒有好/壞到哪裡去, 還落在普通的範圍內
: 也會很容易踩到地雷, 炸得七葷八素
我覺得把這些夫妻糾紛起源都歸因於童年創傷或家庭複製,
是一種便宜行事的說法。
佛洛依德的精神分析學派也許在心理學發展過程中曾經作出貢獻,
加以電影小說等媒體又喜歡拿這個作題材,所以大眾並不陌生。
然而精神分析學派因其不可證偽性根本禁不起科學方法的檢驗,
事實上在現今的心理學界,這派早就已經式微了。
(以上是我從”這才是心理學”這本書中讀來的。推薦這本好書。)
當然也是因為我前文是情緒性po文居多,所以給婚姻版鄉民們這麼多腦補的空間。
我父母的婚姻是失敗沒錯,但在我這個人生階段回頭看,
我不能諒解的是父親沒有好好處理並釐清離婚後的權利與義務,
而不是怪罪他們的選擇結束婚姻關係。
如果要扯甚麼創傷或家庭複製,我覺得我老婆的問題還嚴重的多,
岳父母早年就因家計問題彼此互生嫌隙,更別提這幾年的債務問題。
岳母跟她夫家不合的狀況,
也讓我覺得是影響老婆一開始就對我家人充滿敵意的重要原因。
(這當然也是有我自行腦補的成分)
況且,如果我覺得怎麼努力都不可能讓這段關係有起色,
難道那個D word不能是一個選項?
難道沒離婚但不快樂的父母對孩子就會比較好?
畢竟愛情只是婚姻的必要條件,卻不是充要條件。
下一步怎麼走,我會先尋求專業的婚姻諮商。
另外,在那邊喊說男人沒本事才讓女人得出外工作的鄉民,
實在不知道是在貶低男人還是女人。
並不是每個女人都喜歡當家庭主婦的好嗎?
--
I - with my eyes burning much more strongly than Robert De Niro's
in "The Taxi Driver", my heart not more restless than a soldier boy
facing death on battleline - started the engine of the bike I stole.
Tension within myself made me high.Leading a life filled with rules
is not a bad way. But, to be free, to be an outsider - that suits me, man.
--
恕刪...
: 沒有高潔的情操和奉獻的精神最好不要和你這樣有創傷的人在一起
: 不然哪怕只是一般人的反應, 沒有好/壞到哪裡去, 還落在普通的範圍內
: 也會很容易踩到地雷, 炸得七葷八素
我覺得把這些夫妻糾紛起源都歸因於童年創傷或家庭複製,
是一種便宜行事的說法。
佛洛依德的精神分析學派也許在心理學發展過程中曾經作出貢獻,
加以電影小說等媒體又喜歡拿這個作題材,所以大眾並不陌生。
然而精神分析學派因其不可證偽性根本禁不起科學方法的檢驗,
事實上在現今的心理學界,這派早就已經式微了。
(以上是我從”這才是心理學”這本書中讀來的。推薦這本好書。)
當然也是因為我前文是情緒性po文居多,所以給婚姻版鄉民們這麼多腦補的空間。
我父母的婚姻是失敗沒錯,但在我這個人生階段回頭看,
我不能諒解的是父親沒有好好處理並釐清離婚後的權利與義務,
而不是怪罪他們的選擇結束婚姻關係。
如果要扯甚麼創傷或家庭複製,我覺得我老婆的問題還嚴重的多,
岳父母早年就因家計問題彼此互生嫌隙,更別提這幾年的債務問題。
岳母跟她夫家不合的狀況,
也讓我覺得是影響老婆一開始就對我家人充滿敵意的重要原因。
(這當然也是有我自行腦補的成分)
況且,如果我覺得怎麼努力都不可能讓這段關係有起色,
難道那個D word不能是一個選項?
難道沒離婚但不快樂的父母對孩子就會比較好?
畢竟愛情只是婚姻的必要條件,卻不是充要條件。
下一步怎麼走,我會先尋求專業的婚姻諮商。
另外,在那邊喊說男人沒本事才讓女人得出外工作的鄉民,
實在不知道是在貶低男人還是女人。
並不是每個女人都喜歡當家庭主婦的好嗎?
--
I - with my eyes burning much more strongly than Robert De Niro's
in "The Taxi Driver", my heart not more restless than a soldier boy
facing death on battleline - started the engine of the bike I stole.
Tension within myself made me high.Leading a life filled with rules
is not a bad way. But, to be free, to be an outsider - that suits me, man.
--
Tags:
婚姻
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