我們的婚姻還有救嗎? - 婚姻
By Mary
at 2017-07-26T02:59
at 2017-07-26T02:59
Table of Contents
和
是否同意記者抄文:NO
文有點長…
去年發現老公過去一年有嫖妓的紀錄(約十次),時間點甚至令我難以想象,在他的生日及
我的生日當天(嫖妓完還買禮物送我),甚至在他外婆過世去南部拈香後回台北時也去。我
知道的那一刻,簡直要崩潰,但是最後為了家庭為了兩個孩子我還是選擇原諒。婚前我曾
跟他說,如果外遇一定是離婚,他認為嫖妓不算外遇,總之到後來變成我自打嘴巴的安慰
自己,每個人都可能會迷失自己,要給人家機會。
原諒他之後的半年內,他對我都非常好(以前是對我很兇的那種),之後慢慢開始恢復本性
,今年過年前無意間發現他竟然騙我抽菸已有兩三年了(甚至更久),過去我常常懷疑他有
抽菸,不過他都說是別人在抽,衣服才有味道,直到在他口袋發現打火機和菸草,菸的發
票,他才承認。因為我們婚前早約定好他不要再抽菸,但是結果是其實沒有戒,始終在騙
我,後來他又說其實早就想戒了,因為嫖妓都被我發現,哪一天也會發現他抽菸,結果還
沒戒又被我發現,很衰~ 好吧!結果我也相信他本來就想戒只是還沒戒,那我都發現了
他說要戒了。
想不到過了半年,就在6月中我又發現他皮包有買菸的發票,這次我真的心冷了。大家可
能會說,抽菸是小事,沒那麼嚴重吧!對啊!真的比起嫖妓來說,抽菸真的不算什麼。但
是為何我會如此的心冷?第一,我每天早起為他弄早餐,跟我道別去上班後的路上卻去買
菸,我感覺很像傻子…。 第二,我雖然已經原諒老公的嫖妓,但是對婚姻是失去信任的
,他卻始終在騙我不再抽菸,卻又被我發現其實還在抽,讓我繼續自打嘴巴,其實我不僅
要原諒老公嫖妓,還要接受老公騙我的抽菸。我跟他說,你就是要我妥協嗎?接受你就是
這個樣子…
因為沒有信任,一直在欺騙我,我要一步步地妥協,我們性生活也受到影響,只要他一碰
我,我就非常反感,因為我完全沒有心情,我對他說,他不懂得珍惜我對他背叛的原諒,
卻繼續的要我妥協他抽菸的事實,婚姻最醜陋的背叛我都原諒了,是不是其他的都不算什
麼,我都可以原諒?如果就是要我妥協,我就會變成一個不快樂的妻子,我真的沒辦法和
他有親密的行為。而且一直想起過去一年,他在我生日的時候去嫖妓;在他生日那天,我
親手做了蛋糕慶祝他的生日,下午我還傳正在烤蛋糕的照片給他看,其實他正準備去嫖妓
。
原本這些醜陋的回憶可以漸漸塵封,但是隨著他還在欺騙我抽菸的事情,讓我又回想不堪
的記憶,他說,我用性在威脅他,但是我沒有威脅,我是真的做不下去,也沒有心情,我
們好像要變成有名無實的婚姻……,這樣失去信任的婚姻該如何補救?
--
Tags:
婚姻
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