後續 - 婚姻

By Steve
at 2012-10-12T01:42
at 2012-10-12T01:42
Table of Contents
前幾週發了一篇文章,我不知道此篇文章竟然引發出這麼多討論
有幾位版友很熱心的私下寄信給我,有鼓勵 安慰 以及任何實質上的建言
在此深深的謝謝各位的幫助,甚至有板友因為我的文章而慘遭水桶
真的感到抱歉!!!
後續事情的發生,我也跟各位版眾分享一下吧!
事情該從哪說起呢!?就從我發起的最後一篇文章開始吧!?記得是週五晚上吧!
原本週六我打算親自下台南去,隔天也就是週六早上我到醫院照顧奶奶
跟奶奶提到今天打算下台南去,但奶奶阻止我叫我不要去,因為我姐夫
也要下去見我老婆,聽她說說事情的原委!如果我要下台南
就等我姐夫週六晚上回來後看倒底發生甚麼事情,再做決定!
我說:好 那就等姊夫晚上回來說說看情況是怎麼樣!
到了晚上姊夫就來我家跟我說了今天的狀況,他說今天在他們家談了大約六小時
他們家人列舉了我幾大罪狀(時間有點久了,細節有些忘了)
1.太看重金錢 錢好像都比人重要 吝嗇 每次去岳家時出去吃飯都是岳父在出錢
我一次都沒出 出去玩的時候都去吃7-11完全沒吃當地特色料理 有時還會騎機車
載老婆出遠門吝於開車就是想省油錢 完完全全就是在意錢!!(錢的事情列舉太多了)
2.電腦弄太晚 每次都讓老婆一直催 老婆屢勸不聽!!(這點比較少)
3.吵架時有些事情是不能夠說出口的(是指 你對這個家庭有何實質貢獻 這句話)
當然最後總結就是老婆決定要跟我離婚了!!
姊夫跟我說他是站在第3方的角度在看整件事,他說我錯的比較多,
也叫我不用下去了,因為他們那邊已經做決定了!!
週日我打電話過去給岳母(因老婆已不接我電話了)我跟她說對不起我錯了,我願意改
我不想要離婚,但是岳母直接了當的跟我說了條件,他說不離婚可以,
我老婆要待在台南一年靜養,小孩留在我這邊一年,如果週末有空我再帶小孩去台南
看老婆,一年之後看我表現在做決定!!岳母這樣跟我說,也請我跟我父母討論清楚!
晚上我跟爸媽提到這件事,(我爸媽叫我都不要跟他們聯絡了 因為岳父他傳了
一些具有人身攻擊 以及一些冷嘲熱諷的言語簡訊給我以及我爸 所以我爸媽才叫我
不要跟他們聯絡 以免刺激到岳父 我爸媽看到這些簡訊也很生氣 但也一封都沒回
一方面也體諒到岳父心臟不好 一方面也是擔心氣還沒消 講出來的話也不好聽)
好~繼續 我跟爸媽說我不想離婚 但是他們家開出這個條件 該怎麼辦!?
爸媽說也該是時候去跟她們談談了 後來敲定週二下午去談順便去看我外婆!
週一晚上下班回家後 爸媽繼續找我談這件事 他們說先不要考慮我老婆
先考慮小孩子 你有辦法嗎!?你想要嘛!?我說她是我小孩我怎麼可能不想要
但是我沒辦法一個人照顧阿 必須要有老婆幫我 我媽說:我們也是阿自己的孫子
怎麼可能不要,小孩子我們本來就打算11月就帶回來自己照顧了,小孩子大了
要必須開始教他了,我們很願意平常週間幫妳們帶,妳們夫妻倆平常就放心的工作
但是週末就是妳們要負責任,而且你們也要給爸媽照顧小孩的費用,但是
前提是我老婆必須要回彰化,夫妻相處本來就是會吵架,天底下哪一對夫妻不吵架的
老婆回來彰化後,妳們兩個就搬出去自己去找房子,在磨合一下!!不能小孩子帶回來彰化
老婆卻在台南,這樣夫妻是要怎麼相處!?況且我自己一個人開車是要怎麼帶小孩
下去台南阿!??這些大概是主要內容
後來我打電話給岳母約週二時間,但岳母沒接,我就先去洗澡,洗完澡出來後
發現我爸直接打家用電話到岳父家裡去,是岳父接的,我爸說週二要妳們那邊去拜訪一下
岳父說:來幹嘛阿!?下午我沒空啦!我要出去騎腳踏車,不用來了,後來電話就交到岳母手裡
我爸就把今晚討論的事情跟岳母說
但是岳母那邊很硬,就是說他女兒一定要留在台南,後來又換我媽說,也許是岳父在電話
旁邊一直碎碎念 我媽後來就很不爽的說好吧!那沒甚麼好談的一切就照妳們所說的做吧!
(岳母請我把離婚協議書 放棄小孩監護權以及扶養權同意書內容寫好寄給他們)
掛掉電話後,我媽說:算了算了就叫我以後眼睛睜大點吧!!大人出來就是要談事情了
還在那543!!
週三老婆寄了封簡訊給我 他說最近天氣冷叫我在週五前把小孩的衣物以及他的東西
還有離婚協議書放棄小孩監護權同意書全部寄到台南去
我回她說周五前寄到有點困難喔!?
沒想到岳父竟然回傳說:若在週五前未收到放棄小孩監護權扶養權同意書 便會在
我們宗教聚會的場所大大的讓我們出風頭,不信來大家來試試看切記切記!!(這是岳父
在這期間傳的最帶有恐嚇意味的簡訊)
後來我們就請律師照對方的要求擬了一式離婚協議書 因為是認識的律師所以協議書很快
就弄好了!!
週三晚間我跟爸就決定周四下午親自把老婆的東西送到台南去,因為老婆的東西實在
是太多了!傳了封簡訊給老婆說週四下午會把行李送到你家門口 還有協議書晚點先MAIL
給妳看
協議書MAIL過去了,老婆回了我說她們會跟律師討論 晚上睡前不知岳父哪根筋不對勁
又傳了封簡訊過來說要對我提告
週四下午我跟爸就把老婆的行李以及離婚協議書放在她們家門口了
就這樣~~直到今天都還沒有任何消息............
這是這件事情的後續故事了!!!
==============================================================================
整件事情演變到現在這樣,原本是夫妻之間的吵架,變成了兩個家庭之間的不快
真的是親家變仇家....我想都沒想過自己會變成這樣!
雖然我也不年輕了 但婚姻對我來說 我就像是新手一樣 我跟我老婆都是還沒準備好之下
提前進入婚姻 兩人對於工作 生活 相處 金錢 人生價值觀都還未深入討論
因為有了孩子而提前進入婚姻 在這澄清一下 我跟我老婆是正常戀愛關係 我並不是貪圖
他家很有錢 也絕不是師生戀 (另外抱怨一下 婚姻以及感情觀跟工作應該是無關吧!?
竟然會有版友扯到這來了:) )對 雖然她很正 她是大學生 她是青春的肉體 這樣的條件
是男人都會哈吧!交往期間我對她一直就像是個大哥哥小妹妹一般呵護,雖然我明知道
我是一個比較需要別人來照顧我的人,外表是大哥哥但心靈其實卻是個幼稚的小鬼
但我就撩下去了阿....一直到老婆意外懷孕 提前進入婚姻 結婚之後我們還是以
以前的心態在相處,總覺得吵吵架一方先認錯 事情就這樣過了!我承認婚後有了小孩
我對於金錢更看重了,冷落了老婆不在像以前交往時那麼對待她了,凡事也開始都以我的
意見為意見,不在把她擺第一了 工作之後不在像以前開心的帶她出遊了,卻開始
斤斤計較她有沒任何的付出,吵架次數變多了,甚至離婚老婆之前也提過一次了
所有一些零碎的事情加在一起,我開始不信任了開始想到有一天老婆可能會走人
我開始有點無助不知道該怎麼開口,不知道該怎麼說出我的問題,就這樣一直悶著
就像版友所說的的那一千塊不過就是個導火線,在之前早已累積了很多的問題
就算躲過那次的一千塊,以後還是會爆發的,時間早晚而已!!
我想這次最大的問題就是溝通吧!?以及兩個家庭的價值觀 誰都對也誰都錯
大家站的角度不同看待事情的方式也會不一樣!只是這次付出的代價未免慘痛了些
如果這次大家都站在對方的立場替對方想,我真正想要的不過就是老婆的體諒關心
老婆要我看到的是她對這家庭默默的奉獻以及她對我的愛
這件事情最無辜的就是小孩子了...
--
有幾位版友很熱心的私下寄信給我,有鼓勵 安慰 以及任何實質上的建言
在此深深的謝謝各位的幫助,甚至有板友因為我的文章而慘遭水桶
真的感到抱歉!!!
後續事情的發生,我也跟各位版眾分享一下吧!
事情該從哪說起呢!?就從我發起的最後一篇文章開始吧!?記得是週五晚上吧!
原本週六我打算親自下台南去,隔天也就是週六早上我到醫院照顧奶奶
跟奶奶提到今天打算下台南去,但奶奶阻止我叫我不要去,因為我姐夫
也要下去見我老婆,聽她說說事情的原委!如果我要下台南
就等我姐夫週六晚上回來後看倒底發生甚麼事情,再做決定!
我說:好 那就等姊夫晚上回來說說看情況是怎麼樣!
到了晚上姊夫就來我家跟我說了今天的狀況,他說今天在他們家談了大約六小時
他們家人列舉了我幾大罪狀(時間有點久了,細節有些忘了)
1.太看重金錢 錢好像都比人重要 吝嗇 每次去岳家時出去吃飯都是岳父在出錢
我一次都沒出 出去玩的時候都去吃7-11完全沒吃當地特色料理 有時還會騎機車
載老婆出遠門吝於開車就是想省油錢 完完全全就是在意錢!!(錢的事情列舉太多了)
2.電腦弄太晚 每次都讓老婆一直催 老婆屢勸不聽!!(這點比較少)
3.吵架時有些事情是不能夠說出口的(是指 你對這個家庭有何實質貢獻 這句話)
當然最後總結就是老婆決定要跟我離婚了!!
姊夫跟我說他是站在第3方的角度在看整件事,他說我錯的比較多,
也叫我不用下去了,因為他們那邊已經做決定了!!
週日我打電話過去給岳母(因老婆已不接我電話了)我跟她說對不起我錯了,我願意改
我不想要離婚,但是岳母直接了當的跟我說了條件,他說不離婚可以,
我老婆要待在台南一年靜養,小孩留在我這邊一年,如果週末有空我再帶小孩去台南
看老婆,一年之後看我表現在做決定!!岳母這樣跟我說,也請我跟我父母討論清楚!
晚上我跟爸媽提到這件事,(我爸媽叫我都不要跟他們聯絡了 因為岳父他傳了
一些具有人身攻擊 以及一些冷嘲熱諷的言語簡訊給我以及我爸 所以我爸媽才叫我
不要跟他們聯絡 以免刺激到岳父 我爸媽看到這些簡訊也很生氣 但也一封都沒回
一方面也體諒到岳父心臟不好 一方面也是擔心氣還沒消 講出來的話也不好聽)
好~繼續 我跟爸媽說我不想離婚 但是他們家開出這個條件 該怎麼辦!?
爸媽說也該是時候去跟她們談談了 後來敲定週二下午去談順便去看我外婆!
週一晚上下班回家後 爸媽繼續找我談這件事 他們說先不要考慮我老婆
先考慮小孩子 你有辦法嗎!?你想要嘛!?我說她是我小孩我怎麼可能不想要
但是我沒辦法一個人照顧阿 必須要有老婆幫我 我媽說:我們也是阿自己的孫子
怎麼可能不要,小孩子我們本來就打算11月就帶回來自己照顧了,小孩子大了
要必須開始教他了,我們很願意平常週間幫妳們帶,妳們夫妻倆平常就放心的工作
但是週末就是妳們要負責任,而且你們也要給爸媽照顧小孩的費用,但是
前提是我老婆必須要回彰化,夫妻相處本來就是會吵架,天底下哪一對夫妻不吵架的
老婆回來彰化後,妳們兩個就搬出去自己去找房子,在磨合一下!!不能小孩子帶回來彰化
老婆卻在台南,這樣夫妻是要怎麼相處!?況且我自己一個人開車是要怎麼帶小孩
下去台南阿!??這些大概是主要內容
後來我打電話給岳母約週二時間,但岳母沒接,我就先去洗澡,洗完澡出來後
發現我爸直接打家用電話到岳父家裡去,是岳父接的,我爸說週二要妳們那邊去拜訪一下
岳父說:來幹嘛阿!?下午我沒空啦!我要出去騎腳踏車,不用來了,後來電話就交到岳母手裡
我爸就把今晚討論的事情跟岳母說
但是岳母那邊很硬,就是說他女兒一定要留在台南,後來又換我媽說,也許是岳父在電話
旁邊一直碎碎念 我媽後來就很不爽的說好吧!那沒甚麼好談的一切就照妳們所說的做吧!
(岳母請我把離婚協議書 放棄小孩監護權以及扶養權同意書內容寫好寄給他們)
掛掉電話後,我媽說:算了算了就叫我以後眼睛睜大點吧!!大人出來就是要談事情了
還在那543!!
週三老婆寄了封簡訊給我 他說最近天氣冷叫我在週五前把小孩的衣物以及他的東西
還有離婚協議書放棄小孩監護權同意書全部寄到台南去
我回她說周五前寄到有點困難喔!?
沒想到岳父竟然回傳說:若在週五前未收到放棄小孩監護權扶養權同意書 便會在
我們宗教聚會的場所大大的讓我們出風頭,不信來大家來試試看切記切記!!(這是岳父
在這期間傳的最帶有恐嚇意味的簡訊)
後來我們就請律師照對方的要求擬了一式離婚協議書 因為是認識的律師所以協議書很快
就弄好了!!
週三晚間我跟爸就決定周四下午親自把老婆的東西送到台南去,因為老婆的東西實在
是太多了!傳了封簡訊給老婆說週四下午會把行李送到你家門口 還有協議書晚點先MAIL
給妳看
協議書MAIL過去了,老婆回了我說她們會跟律師討論 晚上睡前不知岳父哪根筋不對勁
又傳了封簡訊過來說要對我提告
週四下午我跟爸就把老婆的行李以及離婚協議書放在她們家門口了
就這樣~~直到今天都還沒有任何消息............
這是這件事情的後續故事了!!!
==============================================================================
整件事情演變到現在這樣,原本是夫妻之間的吵架,變成了兩個家庭之間的不快
真的是親家變仇家....我想都沒想過自己會變成這樣!
雖然我也不年輕了 但婚姻對我來說 我就像是新手一樣 我跟我老婆都是還沒準備好之下
提前進入婚姻 兩人對於工作 生活 相處 金錢 人生價值觀都還未深入討論
因為有了孩子而提前進入婚姻 在這澄清一下 我跟我老婆是正常戀愛關係 我並不是貪圖
他家很有錢 也絕不是師生戀 (另外抱怨一下 婚姻以及感情觀跟工作應該是無關吧!?
竟然會有版友扯到這來了:) )對 雖然她很正 她是大學生 她是青春的肉體 這樣的條件
是男人都會哈吧!交往期間我對她一直就像是個大哥哥小妹妹一般呵護,雖然我明知道
我是一個比較需要別人來照顧我的人,外表是大哥哥但心靈其實卻是個幼稚的小鬼
但我就撩下去了阿....一直到老婆意外懷孕 提前進入婚姻 結婚之後我們還是以
以前的心態在相處,總覺得吵吵架一方先認錯 事情就這樣過了!我承認婚後有了小孩
我對於金錢更看重了,冷落了老婆不在像以前交往時那麼對待她了,凡事也開始都以我的
意見為意見,不在把她擺第一了 工作之後不在像以前開心的帶她出遊了,卻開始
斤斤計較她有沒任何的付出,吵架次數變多了,甚至離婚老婆之前也提過一次了
所有一些零碎的事情加在一起,我開始不信任了開始想到有一天老婆可能會走人
我開始有點無助不知道該怎麼開口,不知道該怎麼說出我的問題,就這樣一直悶著
就像版友所說的的那一千塊不過就是個導火線,在之前早已累積了很多的問題
就算躲過那次的一千塊,以後還是會爆發的,時間早晚而已!!
我想這次最大的問題就是溝通吧!?以及兩個家庭的價值觀 誰都對也誰都錯
大家站的角度不同看待事情的方式也會不一樣!只是這次付出的代價未免慘痛了些
如果這次大家都站在對方的立場替對方想,我真正想要的不過就是老婆的體諒關心
老婆要我看到的是她對這家庭默默的奉獻以及她對我的愛
這件事情最無辜的就是小孩子了...
--
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婚姻
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