家有小姑... - 婚姻
By Hedda
at 2012-01-13T18:33
at 2012-01-13T18:33
Table of Contents
無論是結婚前還是結婚後
我都沒想到小姑是我最大的苦悶來源
也不知道是不是我太敏感自尋煩惱
可是我真的對小姑"關心"夫妻和育兒生活覺得很苦悶
我的小姑因為脾氣不好也有點公主病 所以拖到36歲也沒想再認識對象和結婚了
她的工作是兼差性質 所以幾乎都待在家裡很清閒沒事做的感覺
剛結婚時覺得他很關心我們夫妻 也很覺得家裡多了個新成員很新鮮有趣
可是後來她一點都不給我們夫妻空間 要我們譬如說
每天吃完晚餐一定要全家(加婆婆4人)在客廳一起看電視聊天
有時候我們在房間時她會開門進來好奇問你們在做什麼呀 或者要我們不要把門關上
周末想出去逛街過兩人世界她會說我老公只知道帶老婆出去玩 把媽媽和妹妹丟在家裡
可是事實上我婆婆不喜歡常常出門 找小姑一起出去她也很懶 說天氣太熱太冷
言下之意就是希望我們夫妻不要出門 否則就會發脾氣
甚至和婆婆抱怨兒子結婚變妻奴之類的話
後來我和老公找婆婆聊 希望能透過婆婆和小姑溝通
沒想到婆婆竟然叫我們忍耐 說小姑沒有結婚心裡難免有點不平衡
而且跟我老公說因為小姑很重視哥哥很愛哥哥 希望哥哥還是很在乎妹妹更勝於老婆
所以哥哥應該大愛一點疼妹妹像疼老婆一樣 這樣家裡才能和諧圓滿
甚至後來我懷孕了 婆婆還要以後baby叫小姑"姑姑媽媽"
滿足她當媽媽的想像 之後小姑就認定自己是baby的媽媽 想要主導對小孩的事務 譬如
小孩哭了不給抱會抱習慣 喝奶的時間也要固定不能讓baby餓了就喝奶
而且一開始強勢要我餵母奶 後來又因為怕母奶寶寶會黏媽媽要我改成瓶餵
之後我要回職場上班又拒絕讓我們送baby給保母帶 說要自己帶才親
問題是家裡根本沒有人能帶(婆婆體力沒辦法 小姑像公主一樣也不能寄望她帶)
凡事如果不順她的意她就會發脾氣要我們搬出去住 可是搬出去媽媽就沒人照顧了
婆婆也要我忍耐 說她沒有嫁人就是家裡的一份子 要我多順著她
而且雖然我是大嫂 但是年紀比較小 "有耳沒嘴"就對了
還好老公一路以來都很支持我 再加上回到職場後我就不用每天在家裏面對她
心裡總算踏實一些
但是想到以後家人相處的眉眉角角 還有小孩教養上的點點滴滴
一定還會有很多問題 就覺得很煩
也許我應該多學習慈濟大愛的精神 不要放大這些問題
或許根本就是我太敏感了
總之 能夠在這裡有一個空間作為出口我已經很感恩了
以後繼續努力提升自己的修為便是
家家有本難念的經 轉換個心念世界就不一樣了
和大家共勉^^
--
我都沒想到小姑是我最大的苦悶來源
也不知道是不是我太敏感自尋煩惱
可是我真的對小姑"關心"夫妻和育兒生活覺得很苦悶
我的小姑因為脾氣不好也有點公主病 所以拖到36歲也沒想再認識對象和結婚了
她的工作是兼差性質 所以幾乎都待在家裡很清閒沒事做的感覺
剛結婚時覺得他很關心我們夫妻 也很覺得家裡多了個新成員很新鮮有趣
可是後來她一點都不給我們夫妻空間 要我們譬如說
每天吃完晚餐一定要全家(加婆婆4人)在客廳一起看電視聊天
有時候我們在房間時她會開門進來好奇問你們在做什麼呀 或者要我們不要把門關上
周末想出去逛街過兩人世界她會說我老公只知道帶老婆出去玩 把媽媽和妹妹丟在家裡
可是事實上我婆婆不喜歡常常出門 找小姑一起出去她也很懶 說天氣太熱太冷
言下之意就是希望我們夫妻不要出門 否則就會發脾氣
甚至和婆婆抱怨兒子結婚變妻奴之類的話
後來我和老公找婆婆聊 希望能透過婆婆和小姑溝通
沒想到婆婆竟然叫我們忍耐 說小姑沒有結婚心裡難免有點不平衡
而且跟我老公說因為小姑很重視哥哥很愛哥哥 希望哥哥還是很在乎妹妹更勝於老婆
所以哥哥應該大愛一點疼妹妹像疼老婆一樣 這樣家裡才能和諧圓滿
甚至後來我懷孕了 婆婆還要以後baby叫小姑"姑姑媽媽"
滿足她當媽媽的想像 之後小姑就認定自己是baby的媽媽 想要主導對小孩的事務 譬如
小孩哭了不給抱會抱習慣 喝奶的時間也要固定不能讓baby餓了就喝奶
而且一開始強勢要我餵母奶 後來又因為怕母奶寶寶會黏媽媽要我改成瓶餵
之後我要回職場上班又拒絕讓我們送baby給保母帶 說要自己帶才親
問題是家裡根本沒有人能帶(婆婆體力沒辦法 小姑像公主一樣也不能寄望她帶)
凡事如果不順她的意她就會發脾氣要我們搬出去住 可是搬出去媽媽就沒人照顧了
婆婆也要我忍耐 說她沒有嫁人就是家裡的一份子 要我多順著她
而且雖然我是大嫂 但是年紀比較小 "有耳沒嘴"就對了
還好老公一路以來都很支持我 再加上回到職場後我就不用每天在家裏面對她
心裡總算踏實一些
但是想到以後家人相處的眉眉角角 還有小孩教養上的點點滴滴
一定還會有很多問題 就覺得很煩
也許我應該多學習慈濟大愛的精神 不要放大這些問題
或許根本就是我太敏感了
總之 能夠在這裡有一個空間作為出口我已經很感恩了
以後繼續努力提升自己的修為便是
家家有本難念的經 轉換個心念世界就不一樣了
和大家共勉^^
--
Tags:
婚姻
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