孤兒怎麼提親? - 婚姻

By Hamiltion
at 2023-02-22T10:11
at 2023-02-22T10:11
Table of Contents
※ 引述《xxshoxx (紅綃)》之銘言:
: 老實說,雖然我是女的,
: 但這篇如果性別對調好像會被噓到爆XDD
: 男方要來提親,但女方沒有長輩可接待......
: 已說明狀況但對方家長覺得你找老闆或長輩來就可以,
: 女生沒父母,沒有比較要好的長輩,
: 然後不太想請老闆同事來談婚事。
: 男友看起來也沒有特別跟他父母溝通。
: 怎樣婆家都希望要有女方長輩在場,
: 因為這樣才能顯出女方結親誠意。
: 這個po出來一定一堆人說什麼
: 婚前就不尊重你了,還不快逃
: 男友沒肩膀,不會處理自家的問題。
: 強人所難的婆家,你確定要結婚??
: 其實原po的狀況也是同樣處理方式才對。
: 可以考慮這種女友這種岳家要不要繼續。
關於性別對調的老議題
我可以提供一個案例:疫情之下異國婚姻雙方家長見面問題
女方要求男方父母從馬來西亞過來提親
因為女方父母認為不可以這麼輕易地答應親事
結果這篇被噓到xx
再回到這篇
如果性別對調,女方上來問 提親是否要找長輩在場
我還真會建議她盡量找個熱心的長輩或年長已婚朋友,幫忙注意細節
因為沒經驗的人不知所措
有個人在旁邊幫忙照料著,還是以她的角度出發
磨合兩家的禮俗習慣
讓她心裡有個底,也踏實點
這樣不好嗎?
不過也沒關係
只看自己想看到的人很多,是沒辦法一一解釋的
從文章看來不管男女
這種狀況都很有可能是對方第一次提出,原po上來問該如何解決
從岳母角度來看
她的要求出發點是講究公平,希望三個女兒可以有相同的待遇
免得日後這位女兒埋怨她都沒要求,是不是偏心妹妹,比較不寵愛她
有些網友說岳母是故意刁難,我覺得有待商榷
畢竟妹妹結婚也是這樣流程,並且岳母不收聘金
再說
如果原po越想越不對勁,覺得被刁難了
那麼最好的方法是他跟太太溝通,讓太太出面回絕
(這樣岳母也沒有被質疑偏心的疑慮,女兒出面也好講話)
假設太太聽了原po的難處,還是執意要他找長輩提親
那麼原po就要好好考慮未來
因為他的婚姻會不只有兩個人
還會擠進 岳母、岳母親戚、娘家鄰居阿花嬸等等很多很多人
會很擠很擠
擠到聽不到他跟太太彼此的心聲
婚姻就會結束了
籌備婚禮本來就是彼此磨合的第一階段
找到平衡,做好溝通是很艱難也無法迴避的功課
如果對方只因一個點就暴怒,斷章取義,偏激地扭曲你的想法
那更要逃
委屈不會是一下子
而是一輩子
至於放話說 女婿找不到提親長輩,就不會把女兒嫁給他的網友
說真的
你女兒才不會聽你話
你真這麼做還上來講,也會被噓到XX
冷靜點好嗎
以上
--
: 老實說,雖然我是女的,
: 但這篇如果性別對調好像會被噓到爆XDD
: 男方要來提親,但女方沒有長輩可接待......
: 已說明狀況但對方家長覺得你找老闆或長輩來就可以,
: 女生沒父母,沒有比較要好的長輩,
: 然後不太想請老闆同事來談婚事。
: 男友看起來也沒有特別跟他父母溝通。
: 怎樣婆家都希望要有女方長輩在場,
: 因為這樣才能顯出女方結親誠意。
: 這個po出來一定一堆人說什麼
: 婚前就不尊重你了,還不快逃
: 男友沒肩膀,不會處理自家的問題。
: 強人所難的婆家,你確定要結婚??
: 其實原po的狀況也是同樣處理方式才對。
: 可以考慮這種女友這種岳家要不要繼續。
關於性別對調的老議題
我可以提供一個案例:疫情之下異國婚姻雙方家長見面問題
女方要求男方父母從馬來西亞過來提親
因為女方父母認為不可以這麼輕易地答應親事
結果這篇被噓到xx
再回到這篇
如果性別對調,女方上來問 提親是否要找長輩在場
我還真會建議她盡量找個熱心的長輩或年長已婚朋友,幫忙注意細節
因為沒經驗的人不知所措
有個人在旁邊幫忙照料著,還是以她的角度出發
磨合兩家的禮俗習慣
讓她心裡有個底,也踏實點
這樣不好嗎?
不過也沒關係
只看自己想看到的人很多,是沒辦法一一解釋的
從文章看來不管男女
這種狀況都很有可能是對方第一次提出,原po上來問該如何解決
從岳母角度來看
她的要求出發點是講究公平,希望三個女兒可以有相同的待遇
免得日後這位女兒埋怨她都沒要求,是不是偏心妹妹,比較不寵愛她
有些網友說岳母是故意刁難,我覺得有待商榷
畢竟妹妹結婚也是這樣流程,並且岳母不收聘金
再說
如果原po越想越不對勁,覺得被刁難了
那麼最好的方法是他跟太太溝通,讓太太出面回絕
(這樣岳母也沒有被質疑偏心的疑慮,女兒出面也好講話)
假設太太聽了原po的難處,還是執意要他找長輩提親
那麼原po就要好好考慮未來
因為他的婚姻會不只有兩個人
還會擠進 岳母、岳母親戚、娘家鄰居阿花嬸等等很多很多人
會很擠很擠
擠到聽不到他跟太太彼此的心聲
婚姻就會結束了
籌備婚禮本來就是彼此磨合的第一階段
找到平衡,做好溝通是很艱難也無法迴避的功課
如果對方只因一個點就暴怒,斷章取義,偏激地扭曲你的想法
那更要逃
委屈不會是一下子
而是一輩子
至於放話說 女婿找不到提親長輩,就不會把女兒嫁給他的網友
說真的
你女兒才不會聽你話
你真這麼做還上來講,也會被噓到XX
冷靜點好嗎
以上
--
Tags:
婚姻
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