媽媽和小孩自己搬出公婆家這樣好嗎? - 婚姻

By Frederic
at 2015-11-20T17:26
at 2015-11-20T17:26
Table of Contents
我與先生結婚2年,育一子1Y3M,與公婆同住,婆家在作生意,並經營其他副業,經濟寬
裕。婆婆個性心直口快、個性強勢、控制慾強,家裡事情幾乎他作主,老公是長子,2位
小姑未婚住家裡,兄妹3人從小聽從媽媽,媽媽說的都是對的。
在原PO小孩出生前面對婆婆的強勢作風(包括婆家有錢,瞧不起固定收入的我)很不習慣
,但為了顧全婚姻會盡量忍耐,但是小孩出生之後,發現婆婆教養觀念非常落伍,
且因控制慾強非常愛干涉,就連白天也會跑去保母家關心(監看、干涉),
保母有2~3次都被氣得要將我兒子退貨。
現在原PO兒子1歲3個月,鄰居、娘家都說我兒個性比同年小孩溫和,連保母也說我兒子好
乖,但最近我兒子有個動作是有時不高興會伸手做勢打,例如看到喜歡捉弄他的姑姑,為
此教養問題就與婆家數次摩擦。
導火線是前天我兒子坐在三輪車上讓婆婆餵飯(其實兒子在保母家已吃過晚餐),
過程中想下來玩,我婆婆不給他下來,就兇臉還打他,我兒子哭了,
我就說:「媽,不用這樣吧,他不想吃要下來就下來阿,他最近很愛學走路」
我要過去抱兒子,婆婆竟說:「不能去抱他! 這個孩子很霸,一定要把他壓下去」,
我雖不爽,仍語氣平穩回她說:「媽,你只要當疼孫的阿罵就好,孩子的管教我們自己教
」,沒想到她非常火大。後來,看到公公回家就對他說:「這小孩看到姑姑都要打人家」
,我老公再對我補一句:「對啊,就是要教嘛!」,我就說:「我沒有在教嗎?小孩回去娘
家也不會這樣,他會這樣一定是有原因」(我會這麼說是前幾天婆婆自己也講兩個姑姑都
很愛捉弄他,他才會伸手要打他們),沒想到婆婆聽到馬上說:「我不要聽你講啦!」,
自那事情過後,老公覺得我當時說的那句「孩子的管教我們自己教」很不尊重他媽。
自結婚後和先生的爭吵幾乎都有婆婆的因素,中間時常有問先生何時搬出去,或是我自己
跟小孩搬出去,今日又詢問老公後,他回答大概3-5年內是不可能搬去外面住的,可是隨
著小孩成長,我將面對更多和婆家教養方面的衝突。目前我和先生不希望走到離婚,但考
量大概要搬出去搬不成,又希望有個能讓媽媽及小孩快樂的環境,我考慮自己帶著小孩搬
到婆家附近租房子,同時小孩爸爸想來探視就可以方便過來。
(原PO娘家在台中無法就近照應,而本身有穩定的工作及收入)
想請教大家,我這樣的作法有什麼前提或後果需要考慮,或著有什麼更好的方式,讓我的
小孩有更快樂的媽媽,然後幸福快樂的長大呢?謝謝~~
--
裕。婆婆個性心直口快、個性強勢、控制慾強,家裡事情幾乎他作主,老公是長子,2位
小姑未婚住家裡,兄妹3人從小聽從媽媽,媽媽說的都是對的。
在原PO小孩出生前面對婆婆的強勢作風(包括婆家有錢,瞧不起固定收入的我)很不習慣
,但為了顧全婚姻會盡量忍耐,但是小孩出生之後,發現婆婆教養觀念非常落伍,
且因控制慾強非常愛干涉,就連白天也會跑去保母家關心(監看、干涉),
保母有2~3次都被氣得要將我兒子退貨。
現在原PO兒子1歲3個月,鄰居、娘家都說我兒個性比同年小孩溫和,連保母也說我兒子好
乖,但最近我兒子有個動作是有時不高興會伸手做勢打,例如看到喜歡捉弄他的姑姑,為
此教養問題就與婆家數次摩擦。
導火線是前天我兒子坐在三輪車上讓婆婆餵飯(其實兒子在保母家已吃過晚餐),
過程中想下來玩,我婆婆不給他下來,就兇臉還打他,我兒子哭了,
我就說:「媽,不用這樣吧,他不想吃要下來就下來阿,他最近很愛學走路」
我要過去抱兒子,婆婆竟說:「不能去抱他! 這個孩子很霸,一定要把他壓下去」,
我雖不爽,仍語氣平穩回她說:「媽,你只要當疼孫的阿罵就好,孩子的管教我們自己教
」,沒想到她非常火大。後來,看到公公回家就對他說:「這小孩看到姑姑都要打人家」
,我老公再對我補一句:「對啊,就是要教嘛!」,我就說:「我沒有在教嗎?小孩回去娘
家也不會這樣,他會這樣一定是有原因」(我會這麼說是前幾天婆婆自己也講兩個姑姑都
很愛捉弄他,他才會伸手要打他們),沒想到婆婆聽到馬上說:「我不要聽你講啦!」,
自那事情過後,老公覺得我當時說的那句「孩子的管教我們自己教」很不尊重他媽。
自結婚後和先生的爭吵幾乎都有婆婆的因素,中間時常有問先生何時搬出去,或是我自己
跟小孩搬出去,今日又詢問老公後,他回答大概3-5年內是不可能搬去外面住的,可是隨
著小孩成長,我將面對更多和婆家教養方面的衝突。目前我和先生不希望走到離婚,但考
量大概要搬出去搬不成,又希望有個能讓媽媽及小孩快樂的環境,我考慮自己帶著小孩搬
到婆家附近租房子,同時小孩爸爸想來探視就可以方便過來。
(原PO娘家在台中無法就近照應,而本身有穩定的工作及收入)
想請教大家,我這樣的作法有什麼前提或後果需要考慮,或著有什麼更好的方式,讓我的
小孩有更快樂的媽媽,然後幸福快樂的長大呢?謝謝~~
--
Tags:
婚姻
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