婆婆住對面好煩 - 婚姻

By Rae
at 2012-11-23T12:45
at 2012-11-23T12:45
Table of Contents
昨天晚上為了這一篇文章和我老公有一些不愉快,
老公認為現代變了,
以前女生結婚之後一大早就要爬起來煮飯洗衣,
現在女生有公婆幫忙還要抱怨。
聽完這種想法我是愣了一下,
的確,時代真的變了,
但我覺得沒有變的還是女生結婚之後要換環境適應另外一個家庭的遊戲規則。
假設這個世界是講求男女平等的理想狀態的話,
其實這樣對女生還是不公平的。
為什麼要一定要接受自己不想要的恩惠?
我和原PO的狀況比較像,
不過我和公婆住在一起,
公婆也是很熱心會做很多事情的人,
早餐我們說我們會自己去買,
但婆婆還是會去買她想給我們的早餐,
造成我們吃太多或偷偷丟掉的下場。
小孩請公公婆婆帶,
下了班之後回家小孩還是捨不得放開讓我抱,
不然就是小孩一哭就急著想把小孩抱回去。
婆婆喜歡在菜市場買一些像便利商店送的公仔擺在我們的房間。
也隨時想到甚麼事情就開我們房間的門,
有好幾次開門時我都剛好換衣服換到一半.....
但曾經讓我理智線斷掉的是我公公,
他喜歡買二手商品,也喜歡把家裡的東西整理之後賣掉。
我們剛住在一起的時候,
他就把我從家裡帶過來的盤子、電磁爐、菜刀等一些東西拿去賣掉,
然後再買二手的盤子、電磁爐、菜刀。
請老公去幫我和公公說如果要賣掉我的東西時要先通知我一下,
老公還會覺得我很囉唆這種事情也要龜毛。
但他不能體會的是有些東西是我和我去世的媽媽的共同回憶,
那些東西丟掉對我而言會有些情感上的糾結。
對我而言這些是很不一樣的生活,
從我懂事以來我的父母從沒有沒經過我的同意把我的東西賣掉過,
他們也很尊重我,
我的房間不隨意進入,進來前也會先敲門。
而我老公的家庭房間門是不關的,
XBOX360的手把被公公賣掉他也只是唸唸再買一隻。
差別的很大。
我的心情是如何調適的,
我知道公婆是沒有惡意的,
只是他們需要有消遣、需要有付出愛和被需求的出口,
早餐的部分一開始我不好意思和她說我需要甚麼,
但後來我就直接說,我要吃甚麼,我不喜歡吃甚麼。
擺飾的東西我會擺一陣子,再找機會和她說有哪家的小朋友需要,
可不可以給他們,
婆婆是蠻有愛心的人,
通常都願意給出去。
賣二手的東西我後來告訴我公公那些是絕對不能賣的,
其他他想拿去賣就隨便他。
目前倒也相安無事
孩子的部分,我會和他們有點撒嬌的說我上班上了一天了,
讓我抱一抱,如果在孩子哭鬧的時候我就會開玩笑地說,
他的媽媽是我,他不喜歡也只能認命。
但另一方面想,
這世界上沒人愛的小孩一堆,
其實孩子多一個人愛他有何不好?
我希望我的孩子是在充滿愛及正向能量的環境下長大,
除非自己都沒在顧孩子,
不然爺爺奶奶再怎麼愛孩子,
孩子最後還是會選擇媽媽。
知道自己會是最終的勝利者也就不會那麼介意了。
其實關係如果沒有破裂前一切都很好調適,
但如果關係破裂或緊張的話要弭補就比較困難了。
老人家和我們的思維不一樣,
當我們在規劃無限未來及需要獨立的空間好讓自己沉澱回復時,
他們卻得思考在有限的時間裡怎麼和自己所愛的人多相處一分一秒,
多給他們一些關心、被需要的感受,
相信你們的關係會越來越好的。
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