如何重建信任感? - 婚姻

By Bethany
at 2017-02-17T22:48
at 2017-02-17T22:48
Table of Contents
※此文為板主代Po,板主不代轉信給原發文者,請不要寄信來板主信箱※
半年多多前,發現老公跟特定女生會line聊天
時間有時候都很晚,例如睡前女生傳訊問說還在忙嗎?
然後兩人簡單的聊一下並互道晚安
女生回傳親密的貼圖(ex卡通狗狗舔臉那種)說晚安或辛苦了
老公只回:晚安,早點睡。 他沒有回沒有其他貼圖或超過的言語
但我看到時很火,因為那時他通常躺在我身邊玩手機,竟在跟別的女生道晚安
我也看到一則老公出國出差時,跟女生說「已經上了往巴黎火車了」
雖然沒有很多來回,大概就簡單說一下國外天氣、出差好累這樣
有傳一兩張國外的建築物風景照片給女生看(只有風景沒有人像)
出差的晚上也有稍微聊一下
都沒有聊很深入或很曖昧,大概就是工作心情等等
但其中有一則他虧女生的言語讓我震驚
女生約他出去午餐,他們喬好時間後他竟說「那感覺上星期幾就可以去X你了」
我當下當然覺得他們有曖昧,甚至有上床!
但疑惑的是,那天午餐他跟我一起吃的,而他們的line竟然沒有對當天取消有討論
(line訊息我之後才看到,回想當天是老公來找我一起吃午餐的)
之後我發現他有刪部分訊息,我們也因此事吵過,老公承認錯誤並承諾不再犯
後來我偶爾偷看手機都沒看到什麼了(當然也有可能是有防範了)
為了取信於我,他封鎖女生並刪好友,所以之後當然是什麼都看不到了
我也懷疑他們取消午餐那天,是不是老公把訊息刪掉了?
但如果要刪取消午餐的內容是怕我發現,為什麼不連前一句說去X妳的一起刪??
這裡我一直想不通,因為那一句才是最需要刪除的曖昧內容啊
這一段我有問老公,他說他只是開玩笑,他跟那女生完全沒有曖昧,就只是會聊一下
大概就是兩三天聊一次的頻率,一次來回個20句左右(兩人加起來)
至於那一天,因為那女生約他時他也沒有那麼想去,就是隨口敷衍
之後那女生沒再提,因為也沒約時間地點,他也就裝作不知道了
ps.女生大我老公兩三歲未婚年紀不小了,長得不怎麼樣,也不是我老公喜歡的型
我現在的問題是
孩子還小,我也並不想離婚,老公看起來「表面上」也沒再犯了,上下班時間正常等等
對我也一如往常的好
但是我發現我心裡深處有一塊地方,無法再相信他了
在這件事發生之前,我很相信他,因為我一直以為他是一個很正直
跟女生的距離抓得很好的人
但現在每當我想起他說「可以去X妳了」以及用溫和(溫柔?)的語氣回line時
還有在深夜跟別人道晚安、出國line對方說已經上火車等等
我心裡的傷痛還是會出現,一再地提醒我「那真的是我認識的那個男人嗎?」
尤其在他出差時,我的心情會更不好,想著他在外地不曉得正在跟誰line?
前兩天我們因為一言不合又大吵,大概是他說了什麼,我表現出完全不相信他的樣子
有點語帶嘲諷地說「怎麼可能?反正我知道你也不會對我說實話」
然後他就生氣了@.@
line這件事在我心裡是根刺
只要想到我就不愉快
有可能有一天還能恢復對他的信任嗎?
這件事我們之後很少提到了(但我常常想起),因為對我們倆都是很大的傷害,
他事後有幾次說到時,都說自己一時講錯話很後悔
所有婚姻心理相關的文章都教妻子不可以嘲諷、酸他、翻舊帳等
但只要想到那件事,我就忍不住心裏的不愉快
到底該怎麼做才能恢復我對他的信任呢
(他覺得我不信任他這件事讓他很難過)
※此文為板主代Po,板主不代轉信給原發文者,請不要寄信來板主信箱※
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