如何說服先生搬出去住不代表不孝 - 婚姻
By Skylar Davis
at 2018-09-26T13:22
at 2018-09-26T13:22
Table of Contents
是否同意記者抄文:N
大家好,事情是這樣的,我與先生新婚沒幾個月,目前住在婆家,家庭成員有先生、婆婆
、先生的姪女、我。目前住的房名字有一半是我老公一半是婆婆,房貸尚未清償完畢。
我本人有自律神經失調(引起的焦慮、胸悶、過度換氣、長期耳鳴),服藥到目前已經第3
年,,原本控制得很好,因為結婚後想到未來懷孕的關係,近幾個月頻繁找身心科醫生換
藥,及檢討換藥完之後的情緒改變。
但因婆婆的個性也是屬於"時常叮嚀、同一件事反覆講",我知道每個媽媽都會,甚至是我
娘家的媽媽也會,但是我告訴醫生及我老公,我覺得自己的心理壓力會因為婆婆持續的唸
,以及適應婆家環境,我可能會受不了,醫生建議小夫妻應該要有自己的私人相處空間,
一開始服藥之後我就搬離開家裡到外地工作,因為我知道我的壓力來源是自己的母親,所
以我寧願跟媽媽保持著距離美,後來每次見面彼此就會更關心對方以及用更柔軟的態度跟
彼此對話。
但是新婚之後搬到婆家我要重新接受我要跟另一個媽媽住的事實,婆婆說她是開明的人,
可以溝通,可以討論,可以改變。好,當然我是聽聽而已,我不是一個不懂人情世故的人
,誰敢要求長輩為妳改變。
經過幾次的磨合,我在一次跟老公提出婆婆一直唸同樣的事情會讓我很緊張跟焦慮,他卻
誤會我的意思,覺得我對婆婆有意見,後來我告訴他,我不是對婆婆有意見,我是心疼我
自己會越來越病,但是卻無法改變。
重點就來了,這棟房子貸款還沒繳完,我先生不可能放手讓婆婆一個人獨撐一個家帶我搬
出去,因為他內心會有罪惡感覺得這樣做非常不孝順,所以如果搬出去住勢必要一起繳這
間房貸,再加上搬出去住不管是租屋還是買中古屋都需要資金,我自己也擔心我們無法打
平兩間住家的開銷,同時婆婆也會打悲情牌,用哭的、用"都不用搬,我走,我自己搬回
高雄娘家",婆婆越是這樣講,我老公越不可能搬。
我內心很想要小家庭出去自立門戶,不管支出會不會比住婆家還大,但是我沒有夠好的理
由說服老公!婆家這邊也不會放手,我自己的娘家媽媽也很傳統,她認為我應該乖乖住在
婆家就好。是不是我應該要忍耐繼續住下來?畢竟我清楚我沒能力繳完這間的房貸後瀟灑
搬走,加上我們搬走可能會冠上不孝的罪名,我一點都不希望我老公為此傷心難過。
請大家回文不要太針對我情緒的問題,我有定期回診(昨天也才回診而已),藥物控制醫生
都有備藥給我。另外我不太會回應留言,上次一回應把整個留言串搞得歪七扭八,請大家
見諒。
--
Tags:
婚姻
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