夫妻間有太多不同調 - 婚姻

By Joseph
at 2017-10-04T02:10
at 2017-10-04T02:10
Table of Contents
※此文為板主代Po,板主不代轉信給原發文者,請不要寄信來板主信箱※
最近常因為婚姻生活導致情緒上不佳
主要有幾個部分
1.家庭的生活作息
我們是雙薪家庭,有一個兩歲小孩
整個家沒有甚麼經濟壓力(我個人年收約400w~500w)
我的理念又是工作是為了提升生活品質
所以常會想安排一些休閒讓全家人放鬆
我的工作相當自由
幾乎在家工作,也沒硬性的時間規定
頂多一個月需出差國外一趟
但老婆的下班時間很晚,也因為公司規定請假困難
小孩有送托嬰,所以平日就是我接完小孩後
必須等到老婆下班,再全家匆忙吃完晚餐
趕快回家讓小孩睡覺
想要老婆請個特休一起旅遊也是相當困難
對這種生活其實已經漸漸失去動力
很希望老婆可以換個工作
至少可以早點下班,有特休可以自由運用
一方面也是覺得老婆的能力不該領那樣的薪水
甚至她待的公司有很多方面都違反勞基法
曾經跟她建議過,她也說她會考慮看看
但日子就這樣過去了好一陣,我仍然沒感受到她有這樣的意圖
2.生活習慣的差異
我們住的房子是自己的,所以我還算有花心思布置
我自己一個人住的時候,都會頻繁的打理
在有了小孩後我覺得應該是要更要求
但老婆有一些習慣讓我真的無力打理這房子
稱不上髒,但就是亂
比如喝完的飲料杯,或食物袋子就直接丟客廳桌上
衣服或包包回到家也是隨手找地方放
梳妝台上瓶瓶罐罐雜亂,一堆頭髮甚至用過的化妝棉
小孩的玩具,用品,書本這些很多
都有規畫收納的空間,但也是用完隨手放
一直很想教育小孩自己使用完就收好
但老婆這樣我也不知道怎麼教起
常常我是突然看到家裡這樣凌亂情緒就開始不好
我也不想說甚麼,只想看看她可以容忍到甚麼地步
結果好像只有我在意,自討沒趣的不開心
再自己收拾殘局,然後過沒多久又變成原本的樣子
最後我也懶得整理
3.很老梗的性生活問題
我們都30歲,承認自己還是有需求
婚前其實也交往了很長的時間
但一直以來都是我在主動,老婆對這方面顯得沒太大興趣
頻率大概一周一次
次數我也不想要求
但希望至少可以有互動的感覺
老婆大概12點就會想睡
然後都是滑手機,用電腦用到睡覺前一刻
等到她上床了,我開始想要有所動作時
不是拒絕,就是丟一句"可以快點嗎"
甚至我開始動作她還是繼續滑手機
我沒甚麼很詭異的癖好,連太多的要求也不敢
從以前開始,沒有印象她有主動過
不是被拒絕,就是被冷淡對待
一直期待是不是有改變的一天,但最後只剩下灰心
現在已經變得有點厭惡自己,為什麼自己臉皮還要這麼厚
自己又有很莫名的怪癖
很討厭被陌生人碰觸身體,連單純的按摩都沒辦法
所以也不是去找別人就可以處理這麼簡單
以上這些事情都已經持續了好一段時間
我因為成長的背景讓性格很壓抑
雖然都有跟老婆講過我的想法,但都不想用激烈的方式
也不曾大聲的爭吵
就這樣一直承受這些情緒
過去曾經有一段時間醫生診斷憂鬱症,需要靠藥物才有辦法入睡
最近發現自己出現了當初的一些症狀
晚上幾乎無法入睡,躺在床上就是一直出現負面情緒
就算睡著了,2~3小時候就會醒來
白天的時候很不想面對所有事情,反而只想躺著
這樣對整個家庭是更負面的影響
覺得這些情緒已經讓我在一個很危險的狀態
自己也常反省是不是自己要求太多
但又覺得對整個家付出很多
自己在物質上沒太大慾望
但老婆或小孩想要甚麼我不會拒絕,也都盡量給到最好
會想多安排旅遊給夫妻跟小孩留下多點回憶
加上我也不喜歡家庭外的社交生活
自然希望可以在這個家可以有更多的回饋
對自己的綜合條件還算有信心
每隔一段時間,在我表明我的身分後還是會有追求者出現
但我並不想一走了之
我很在乎我的小孩,希望他能有個良好的成長環境
老婆也是很愛他,我也很感謝她對小孩全心的付出
乍看應該是個很健全的家庭
但我真的不快樂
很想知道該如何調適自己,希望能夠有些不錯的建議
謝謝
--
心懷一襟朗月,
劍藏七尺乾坤,
慣看滿城煙雨,
回首再入烽雲。
--
最近常因為婚姻生活導致情緒上不佳
主要有幾個部分
1.家庭的生活作息
我們是雙薪家庭,有一個兩歲小孩
整個家沒有甚麼經濟壓力(我個人年收約400w~500w)
我的理念又是工作是為了提升生活品質
所以常會想安排一些休閒讓全家人放鬆
我的工作相當自由
幾乎在家工作,也沒硬性的時間規定
頂多一個月需出差國外一趟
但老婆的下班時間很晚,也因為公司規定請假困難
小孩有送托嬰,所以平日就是我接完小孩後
必須等到老婆下班,再全家匆忙吃完晚餐
趕快回家讓小孩睡覺
想要老婆請個特休一起旅遊也是相當困難
對這種生活其實已經漸漸失去動力
很希望老婆可以換個工作
至少可以早點下班,有特休可以自由運用
一方面也是覺得老婆的能力不該領那樣的薪水
甚至她待的公司有很多方面都違反勞基法
曾經跟她建議過,她也說她會考慮看看
但日子就這樣過去了好一陣,我仍然沒感受到她有這樣的意圖
2.生活習慣的差異
我們住的房子是自己的,所以我還算有花心思布置
我自己一個人住的時候,都會頻繁的打理
在有了小孩後我覺得應該是要更要求
但老婆有一些習慣讓我真的無力打理這房子
稱不上髒,但就是亂
比如喝完的飲料杯,或食物袋子就直接丟客廳桌上
衣服或包包回到家也是隨手找地方放
梳妝台上瓶瓶罐罐雜亂,一堆頭髮甚至用過的化妝棉
小孩的玩具,用品,書本這些很多
都有規畫收納的空間,但也是用完隨手放
一直很想教育小孩自己使用完就收好
但老婆這樣我也不知道怎麼教起
常常我是突然看到家裡這樣凌亂情緒就開始不好
我也不想說甚麼,只想看看她可以容忍到甚麼地步
結果好像只有我在意,自討沒趣的不開心
再自己收拾殘局,然後過沒多久又變成原本的樣子
最後我也懶得整理
3.很老梗的性生活問題
我們都30歲,承認自己還是有需求
婚前其實也交往了很長的時間
但一直以來都是我在主動,老婆對這方面顯得沒太大興趣
頻率大概一周一次
次數我也不想要求
但希望至少可以有互動的感覺
老婆大概12點就會想睡
然後都是滑手機,用電腦用到睡覺前一刻
等到她上床了,我開始想要有所動作時
不是拒絕,就是丟一句"可以快點嗎"
甚至我開始動作她還是繼續滑手機
我沒甚麼很詭異的癖好,連太多的要求也不敢
從以前開始,沒有印象她有主動過
不是被拒絕,就是被冷淡對待
一直期待是不是有改變的一天,但最後只剩下灰心
現在已經變得有點厭惡自己,為什麼自己臉皮還要這麼厚
自己又有很莫名的怪癖
很討厭被陌生人碰觸身體,連單純的按摩都沒辦法
所以也不是去找別人就可以處理這麼簡單
以上這些事情都已經持續了好一段時間
我因為成長的背景讓性格很壓抑
雖然都有跟老婆講過我的想法,但都不想用激烈的方式
也不曾大聲的爭吵
就這樣一直承受這些情緒
過去曾經有一段時間醫生診斷憂鬱症,需要靠藥物才有辦法入睡
最近發現自己出現了當初的一些症狀
晚上幾乎無法入睡,躺在床上就是一直出現負面情緒
就算睡著了,2~3小時候就會醒來
白天的時候很不想面對所有事情,反而只想躺著
這樣對整個家庭是更負面的影響
覺得這些情緒已經讓我在一個很危險的狀態
自己也常反省是不是自己要求太多
但又覺得對整個家付出很多
自己在物質上沒太大慾望
但老婆或小孩想要甚麼我不會拒絕,也都盡量給到最好
會想多安排旅遊給夫妻跟小孩留下多點回憶
加上我也不喜歡家庭外的社交生活
自然希望可以在這個家可以有更多的回饋
對自己的綜合條件還算有信心
每隔一段時間,在我表明我的身分後還是會有追求者出現
但我並不想一走了之
我很在乎我的小孩,希望他能有個良好的成長環境
老婆也是很愛他,我也很感謝她對小孩全心的付出
乍看應該是個很健全的家庭
但我真的不快樂
很想知道該如何調適自己,希望能夠有些不錯的建議
謝謝
--
心懷一襟朗月,
劍藏七尺乾坤,
慣看滿城煙雨,
回首再入烽雲。
--
Tags:
婚姻
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at 2019-05-09T19:30
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