夫妻相處久了,沒有愛的感覺嗎? - 婚姻
By John
at 2011-02-16T22:52
at 2011-02-16T22:52
Table of Contents
※ 引述《BMay (感謝生在台灣)》之銘言:
: 這一連串討論看下來,板友們都很努力地勸原po多想想。
: 而大家勸的也只有一點:多愛自己一點,不要那麼卑微。
: 然而,原po也相當固執,除了一開始發文有要尋求答案意思之外,後來的文
: 、推文,一面倒地替老公辯護、指責自己的不是。答案與否似乎已經對她不重要
: 了,重要的是,那個完美的神(老公),不能被板眾們褻瀆。
只能說相處的是我 我們也曾經是很相愛有默契的一對
他疼我對我好的地方 我沒有敘述出來 但確實是感受在心裡
就是有爭執點一直到現在無法溝通的方面
我提出來希望可以聽點建議
我確實有不對的地方 我不能一直指責就是我老公不對
他心中就是設定想要有一個完美合他意的女生相處一輩子
這個合他意的地方包含:有能力 懂應對進退 給他面子
說話得體 觀察力好能理解他的需求且在他沒講之前就做好
而我的個性就是大落落的 有時說話會大聲點 粗心很常見
喜怒表現在臉上 不太會控制脾氣 做事欠周延 不經大腦說話等等
就在這幾方面上搭不了線 他是覺得那些個性可以學習
謹慎一點要求自己 並且改變 他認為改變不只為他 也為我是好的
就在他念我罵我的時候 至少知道是為我好 我能不要馬上生氣反駁他
並且解釋我就是這樣改不了 他討厭我為自己錯誤的行為作辯解
: 人家的態度已經這麼明確了,大家就不用再浪費力氣了吧!我們能做的,只
: 有祝福她而已。
: 以我周圍的例子而言,真的遇上老公外遇了、徹底心痛過了,當事人才會醒
: 來,才懂得多愛自己一點。以這些例子來看,或許老公外遇也不見得是壞事,也
: 有其正面之功能。
: 而這也要當事人自己願意看開、願意轉念、願意放下。
: 所以這篇我是來勸各位板眾,不是來勸原po滴。
: 若板主覺得不符合文旨,便刪了無妨。
我難過的地方 是我一直覺得他對我有愛 所以可以跟我相處11年
我也太理想化 認為再來要相處一輩子 有些爭執是可以溝通妥協的
但沒想到 就在我認為平凡簡單的家庭建立中
這幾個月又有一些他認為我沒心想改正的缺失還在持續
慢慢對我講出重話 說已經不喜歡我 想找其他能令他滿意的女生等等
且卻實有在做 有約見面吃飯 雖然他說都還只是朋友
大家的看開轉念 是要我離開
我知道這是一了百了的方法 我也可以做的到
因為之前分手過多次 我也離開過多次
但是我認為 現在既然是婚姻關係
不能再只是認為我離開就好 如果還有轉寰餘地
何不也再走走看 我不知道能再走幾年
但是希望至少我不會離開後 覺得其實還可以再努力而後悔
開始發文 單純是想瞭解大家是否會因為進入家庭
把戀愛感覺的"愛" 變成親人相伴的習慣 戀愛的成分到底還剩多少
也希望聽聽版眾的意見 看看別人處理事情的邏輯想法
不讓自己只是在自己和對方的邏輯中打轉
大家給我的建議 我會慢慢消化 謝謝大家 很溫暖 ^^
--
: 這一連串討論看下來,板友們都很努力地勸原po多想想。
: 而大家勸的也只有一點:多愛自己一點,不要那麼卑微。
: 然而,原po也相當固執,除了一開始發文有要尋求答案意思之外,後來的文
: 、推文,一面倒地替老公辯護、指責自己的不是。答案與否似乎已經對她不重要
: 了,重要的是,那個完美的神(老公),不能被板眾們褻瀆。
只能說相處的是我 我們也曾經是很相愛有默契的一對
他疼我對我好的地方 我沒有敘述出來 但確實是感受在心裡
就是有爭執點一直到現在無法溝通的方面
我提出來希望可以聽點建議
我確實有不對的地方 我不能一直指責就是我老公不對
他心中就是設定想要有一個完美合他意的女生相處一輩子
這個合他意的地方包含:有能力 懂應對進退 給他面子
說話得體 觀察力好能理解他的需求且在他沒講之前就做好
而我的個性就是大落落的 有時說話會大聲點 粗心很常見
喜怒表現在臉上 不太會控制脾氣 做事欠周延 不經大腦說話等等
就在這幾方面上搭不了線 他是覺得那些個性可以學習
謹慎一點要求自己 並且改變 他認為改變不只為他 也為我是好的
就在他念我罵我的時候 至少知道是為我好 我能不要馬上生氣反駁他
並且解釋我就是這樣改不了 他討厭我為自己錯誤的行為作辯解
: 人家的態度已經這麼明確了,大家就不用再浪費力氣了吧!我們能做的,只
: 有祝福她而已。
: 以我周圍的例子而言,真的遇上老公外遇了、徹底心痛過了,當事人才會醒
: 來,才懂得多愛自己一點。以這些例子來看,或許老公外遇也不見得是壞事,也
: 有其正面之功能。
: 而這也要當事人自己願意看開、願意轉念、願意放下。
: 所以這篇我是來勸各位板眾,不是來勸原po滴。
: 若板主覺得不符合文旨,便刪了無妨。
我難過的地方 是我一直覺得他對我有愛 所以可以跟我相處11年
我也太理想化 認為再來要相處一輩子 有些爭執是可以溝通妥協的
但沒想到 就在我認為平凡簡單的家庭建立中
這幾個月又有一些他認為我沒心想改正的缺失還在持續
慢慢對我講出重話 說已經不喜歡我 想找其他能令他滿意的女生等等
且卻實有在做 有約見面吃飯 雖然他說都還只是朋友
大家的看開轉念 是要我離開
我知道這是一了百了的方法 我也可以做的到
因為之前分手過多次 我也離開過多次
但是我認為 現在既然是婚姻關係
不能再只是認為我離開就好 如果還有轉寰餘地
何不也再走走看 我不知道能再走幾年
但是希望至少我不會離開後 覺得其實還可以再努力而後悔
開始發文 單純是想瞭解大家是否會因為進入家庭
把戀愛感覺的"愛" 變成親人相伴的習慣 戀愛的成分到底還剩多少
也希望聽聽版眾的意見 看看別人處理事情的邏輯想法
不讓自己只是在自己和對方的邏輯中打轉
大家給我的建議 我會慢慢消化 謝謝大家 很溫暖 ^^
--
Tags:
婚姻
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