原生家庭跟婆家價值觀差太多... - 婚姻
By Todd Johnson
at 2018-09-25T09:00
at 2018-09-25T09:00
Table of Contents
很多人都說我仇女,我為婆家講話,剛載完我女兒上課,看看我女兒將心比心。
那我這篇就以娘家視角來談,如果我女兒碰到這種事,我當岳父會怎麼處理:
1.我會很認真的跟我女兒講:
結婚後,老公重病,新生兒出生,妳才是最主要義務的照顧人。
我們娘家和妳婆家都只是這個事件的幫忙人,妳不能要求每個幫忙妳的人都要符合妳的期
待。
包括爸爸我,幫妳照顧妳現在的小孩,也只是幫妳的忙,但妳的小孩不是我們義務。
2.如果妳今天要求我這個爸爸幫你忙,那妳就要遵守我這個幫忙人的約定條件。
不然妳認為不合理,不需要我幫忙,那就妳和你老公自己處理面對。
3.我的條件很簡單:就是做人做事要符合人情義理,因為他畢竟是你老公。
對我這個岳父來說:
3-1
如果這個女婿,對我的女兒不重視不疼愛,我會把結果導向離婚。
我所做的事就是,帶我女兒登門道歉,然後談判後續事宜。
也就是對方家庭在經濟不如我們家庭的情況下,我會直接跟對方談,給對方誠意。
這個誠意就是200-300萬復建費用,然後收下離婚並放棄小孩監護權,最多350萬應該可以
談成。
對方拿錢能緊急救火救兒,我換回我女兒自由和新的人生。
3-2 如果這女婿疼愛我女兒,也很重視我女兒。
我會帶著我女兒到婆家,幫婆家負擔醫療費用和幫婆家請外籍看護,感謝他們幫忙我女兒
不能隨時照顧她老公。
請他們見諒這段時間因為要照顧小孩,無法待在婆家照顧,當然小孩我會好好照顧,小孩
爸就先專心養病。
另外,我會當場要求我女兒,至少有空要回來幫忙分擔一下婆婆的辛苦,每週帶小孩回來
看爸爸,讓病人感到親情喜悅增加復建進度。
費用大概100多萬搞定。
3-3 老公很疼愛我女兒,但我女兒怕苦還是傾向離婚
方法如3-2,至少要努力1-2年,因為情感上妳是錯的,然後小孩監護權我們不主動爭取,
看婆家態度。女兒自己和婆家溝通,小孩在我們家照顧會得到比較完善的照顧。
但估計以婆家的情況,多半也會放棄監護權無力多照顧另一個小孩。
畢竟今天不管結果如何,我女兒的小孩和這個爸爸都是割不斷的血緣關係,所以以上3點
,如果女兒能接受,我這個爸爸就願意幫忙,不能接受就自己想辦法,自己面對自己先生
。
=============================
今天原po她娘家如她所述,也是小康家庭,當然金額有沒有和我一樣,不重要。
但妳的誠意一定要,讓另一方在幫忙妳照顧妳老公的婆家也感受的到。
不能出力照顧就出錢,沒有不出力也不出錢,但卻想博得好名聲好藉口這種好康事。
--
那我這篇就以娘家視角來談,如果我女兒碰到這種事,我當岳父會怎麼處理:
1.我會很認真的跟我女兒講:
結婚後,老公重病,新生兒出生,妳才是最主要義務的照顧人。
我們娘家和妳婆家都只是這個事件的幫忙人,妳不能要求每個幫忙妳的人都要符合妳的期
待。
包括爸爸我,幫妳照顧妳現在的小孩,也只是幫妳的忙,但妳的小孩不是我們義務。
2.如果妳今天要求我這個爸爸幫你忙,那妳就要遵守我這個幫忙人的約定條件。
不然妳認為不合理,不需要我幫忙,那就妳和你老公自己處理面對。
3.我的條件很簡單:就是做人做事要符合人情義理,因為他畢竟是你老公。
對我這個岳父來說:
3-1
如果這個女婿,對我的女兒不重視不疼愛,我會把結果導向離婚。
我所做的事就是,帶我女兒登門道歉,然後談判後續事宜。
也就是對方家庭在經濟不如我們家庭的情況下,我會直接跟對方談,給對方誠意。
這個誠意就是200-300萬復建費用,然後收下離婚並放棄小孩監護權,最多350萬應該可以
談成。
對方拿錢能緊急救火救兒,我換回我女兒自由和新的人生。
3-2 如果這女婿疼愛我女兒,也很重視我女兒。
我會帶著我女兒到婆家,幫婆家負擔醫療費用和幫婆家請外籍看護,感謝他們幫忙我女兒
不能隨時照顧她老公。
請他們見諒這段時間因為要照顧小孩,無法待在婆家照顧,當然小孩我會好好照顧,小孩
爸就先專心養病。
另外,我會當場要求我女兒,至少有空要回來幫忙分擔一下婆婆的辛苦,每週帶小孩回來
看爸爸,讓病人感到親情喜悅增加復建進度。
費用大概100多萬搞定。
3-3 老公很疼愛我女兒,但我女兒怕苦還是傾向離婚
方法如3-2,至少要努力1-2年,因為情感上妳是錯的,然後小孩監護權我們不主動爭取,
看婆家態度。女兒自己和婆家溝通,小孩在我們家照顧會得到比較完善的照顧。
但估計以婆家的情況,多半也會放棄監護權無力多照顧另一個小孩。
畢竟今天不管結果如何,我女兒的小孩和這個爸爸都是割不斷的血緣關係,所以以上3點
,如果女兒能接受,我這個爸爸就願意幫忙,不能接受就自己想辦法,自己面對自己先生
。
=============================
今天原po她娘家如她所述,也是小康家庭,當然金額有沒有和我一樣,不重要。
但妳的誠意一定要,讓另一方在幫忙妳照顧妳老公的婆家也感受的到。
不能出力照顧就出錢,沒有不出力也不出錢,但卻想博得好名聲好藉口這種好康事。
--
Tags:
婚姻
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