其實真的蠻後悔結婚的 - 婚姻
By Ethan
at 2013-02-22T18:31
at 2013-02-22T18:31
Table of Contents
原PO以現代社會來說應該算早婚;23歲
除了在訂婚前夕高中同學曾罵我瘋了、
一個完全依賴宗教的親戚說我媽託夢叫我不要結婚外
其餘來參加訂婚典禮的親戚都給予祝福
本來,我也以為我結這個婚是正確的抉擇
我們是奉子成婚
老公很體貼,下班會幫忙帶小孩
很少對我發脾氣,還會幫忙作家事
在我母親過世的時候幫我很多、很多
雖然,我曾經想過他一個月才賺不到30K
而且沒有車、目前也沒房
我們只能住在婆家;公婆很會帶小孩
這樣到底該怎麼生活?
但因為他一直都對我很好
待產的時候也把我照顧的無微不至
這些事情也就拋之腦後了
只是我沒想到......
孩子生下後,到婆家的生活會這麼累
日常的洗衣、打掃、煮飯(一般程度)就不說了
生活習慣的差距常常讓我力不從心
(比方說洗碗不能用洗碗精、不能超過十點起床)
(不能吃外食、看到人一定要打招呼...etc)
很多瑣碎的規定,一時說不太上來
我本身又是容易多想、很討厭被罵的人
婆婆是心直口快,講話又酸酸的人
即使我知道她不是故意的,還是常常往心裡去
公公教書40幾年,是個很嚴厲的人
但對婆婆是百般呵護,對小孩則比較嚴格
但他們吵起架來也很可怕
以前公公還會撞牆之類的(雖然最後公公都會去哄婆婆)
但看在我眼裡真的很可怕
我常跟自己過不去,即使他們說把我當女兒看
但,即使我煮了他們愛吃的食物(焗烤類、辣炒年糕等)也很少聽到一聲謝謝
我先生只是燙個地瓜葉就被婆婆捧上天去
而這些看在兩年前失去母親的我來看,真是很心酸
那個總愛吃我隨便亂煮料理、然後對我說謝謝的媽媽
已經不在了。
和公婆一起生活近三個月
每天、每天我都很想念自己的家
想念當初和母親一起找的房子
也想念我家的貓,每次回去他總是一直在我身旁打轉
結婚後,才真正明白,就算老媽不在了
但這裡就是他給我的棲身之所
我在這裡會很安全
或許,是碰上最近要重新找工作的低潮
以前會一直給我鼓勵的人不在了
先生要開始創業,也無法一直陪在我身邊
於是,我真的開始覺得結婚好累、好煩
要跟不熟的人住在一起,要做好多事
也沒辦法跟他們真正談心(他們沒有女兒)
要是我們沒有結婚的話,該有多好?
要是我們只是同居,沒有小孩的話
就一直是兩人世界了
然而,即使是這樣,事實就擺在那裏
我們也一起去諮商,但每次一回到婆家我就腳步沉重
稍微睡晚一點壓力就超大,開門可能就被唸,還要一直回話
我真的不知道該怎麼辦,也覺得自己很蠢
或許當初再認真一點聽我那同學的話
我就不用踏上這條路了。
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Tags:
婚姻
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