這樣的家事分配回到不公平嗎? - 婚姻

By Oliver
at 2022-04-07T15:36
at 2022-04-07T15:36
Table of Contents
※ 引述《Masturbeat (Masturbeat)》之銘言:
: 看了原po的文章,我只覺得原po跟老婆的問題應該是無法建立有效溝通吧?
: 怎麼風向好像都在說他"愛計較"、"不懂互相包容體諒"、"只想公平".. ?
因為這個問題講白了其實就跟 "娶到公主怎麼辦" 差不多。
用自己的高標準去要求他人是很不好,
但是一個家要分工互助還是要有基本的標準。
這最基本的標準在外(例如同租)至少稱做公德心
在內是"互相"最基本的內涵。
以原PO所提的不滿意的點來看 - 廚房
瓦斯檯面肉眼可見花花的油汙, 料理檯面有奶粉顆粒。
廚房地板油垢油汙始終不清乾淨(就像負責馬桶的只會丟清潔錠卻永遠有尿垢)
這真的算是高要求, 還是普世價值認為這樣打掃OK嗎?
(在外共用廚房,掃完還留白花花油汙叫做沒水準,
在家裡就變成高標準了嗎?)
然後說到分工, 工作對調本來就是一種取得公平的好方法
方法沒錯, 但是太太裝死。
要從中挑毛病就是 抹愛計較,愛講公平阿。
太太甚至直接放大絕, 拿老公跟別人比, 就是不比自己和其他太太。
倒過來舉例不就是:
先生嗆太太為什麼要讓自己分擔家事? 別家好老婆可是家務全包呢一樣不可理喻。
: 在我的想像裡婚姻這件事應該是兩人找到一起生活的方式與節奏,
: 共同找到雙方都能夠接受的平衡點,今天不管是"分配工作"、"討論結果" 都是為了能夠實?
: 若說打著互相包容的大旗,要求雙方中要求高的一方自己負責多出來的工作量,
: 那這件事的底線在哪? 若沒有底線,是不是變成比爛大會,
要護航公主/王子 就只能要做多事的那一邊多包容, 不要計較。 (吞下去就對了)
這倒不如直說: 娶到公主 要不吞,要不離爽快
不過在婚姻中遇到擺明就是要擺爛,還跟你說別人配偶都可以讓另一半爽的時候,
其實真的很難有解法。
講互相, 也是擺爛那邊該多互相一點不是嗎?!
原PO遇到的就是這麼現實的問題。
上來PO文就跟一些太太PO文抱怨老公不做家事 (家務分擔不足)一樣,
吸收一些同仇敵愾, 證明糟糕的不是自己, 或許還能把PO文給配偶看這樣
這篇就是想講, 太太的標準就真的低到在外足以被稱作沒水準的程度
室友碰到這種的就是倒楣, 配偶碰到這種的亦然。
--
: 看了原po的文章,我只覺得原po跟老婆的問題應該是無法建立有效溝通吧?
: 怎麼風向好像都在說他"愛計較"、"不懂互相包容體諒"、"只想公平".. ?
因為這個問題講白了其實就跟 "娶到公主怎麼辦" 差不多。
用自己的高標準去要求他人是很不好,
但是一個家要分工互助還是要有基本的標準。
這最基本的標準在外(例如同租)至少稱做公德心
在內是"互相"最基本的內涵。
以原PO所提的不滿意的點來看 - 廚房
瓦斯檯面肉眼可見花花的油汙, 料理檯面有奶粉顆粒。
廚房地板油垢油汙始終不清乾淨(就像負責馬桶的只會丟清潔錠卻永遠有尿垢)
這真的算是高要求, 還是普世價值認為這樣打掃OK嗎?
(在外共用廚房,掃完還留白花花油汙叫做沒水準,
在家裡就變成高標準了嗎?)
然後說到分工, 工作對調本來就是一種取得公平的好方法
方法沒錯, 但是太太裝死。
要從中挑毛病就是 抹愛計較,愛講公平阿。
太太甚至直接放大絕, 拿老公跟別人比, 就是不比自己和其他太太。
倒過來舉例不就是:
先生嗆太太為什麼要讓自己分擔家事? 別家好老婆可是家務全包呢一樣不可理喻。
: 在我的想像裡婚姻這件事應該是兩人找到一起生活的方式與節奏,
: 共同找到雙方都能夠接受的平衡點,今天不管是"分配工作"、"討論結果" 都是為了能夠實?
: 若說打著互相包容的大旗,要求雙方中要求高的一方自己負責多出來的工作量,
: 那這件事的底線在哪? 若沒有底線,是不是變成比爛大會,
要護航公主/王子 就只能要做多事的那一邊多包容, 不要計較。 (吞下去就對了)
這倒不如直說: 娶到公主 要不吞,要不離爽快
不過在婚姻中遇到擺明就是要擺爛,還跟你說別人配偶都可以讓另一半爽的時候,
其實真的很難有解法。
講互相, 也是擺爛那邊該多互相一點不是嗎?!
原PO遇到的就是這麼現實的問題。
上來PO文就跟一些太太PO文抱怨老公不做家事 (家務分擔不足)一樣,
吸收一些同仇敵愾, 證明糟糕的不是自己, 或許還能把PO文給配偶看這樣
這篇就是想講, 太太的標準就真的低到在外足以被稱作沒水準的程度
室友碰到這種的就是倒楣, 配偶碰到這種的亦然。
--
Tags:
婚姻
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