男生為主要經濟、勞力與育兒泉源 - 婚姻
By Susan
at 2021-05-05T16:02
at 2021-05-05T16:02
Table of Contents
是否同意記者抄文:NO
看了女生為主要經濟的原文與推文,由於身為男生,許多版友認為性別與原文不合不可一論,因此另命標題,無任何反諷或任何貶低之意。發此文是由於心中有不少對他人婚姻的疑惑點,但現實生活不好提問也難以得到真實答案,在此分享自身婚姻點,勸世之餘也請大家解惑。有相同生活體驗的版友也請舉手呼應一下。
我太喜歡陪在女兒的身邊了,不論是日常生活,抓寶可夢還是出去玩,女兒的甜笑絕對是我無時無刻想要看到的。從小包辦洗澡 洗屁股,直到現在快三歲了一樣是抱著洗澡洗屁股,要她閉眼睛洗頭都會被奶音拒絕。因為相處時間最長而且能滿足她最多生理需求,因此女兒最先叫的是爸爸。
由於嫩嬰要夜奶,以及預防夜哭吵到老婆睡覺,剛出生月嫂離開的第一天我開始在小孩房陪睡,第二天老婆就跑來跟我擠一張單人床墊,說沒我睡不著,隔天醒來跟我抱怨床墊不好睡,當天晚上就把嬰兒床搬到主臥一起睡了。
老婆大部分五點下班,偶爾會需要加班,而我可以提早她半小時下班,並且只有我會開車(老婆有駕照但不會開),所以我負責全責接送,下班接到女兒如果沒下雨就帶去公園跑跑跳跳。回到家,有空就做完整的晚餐,沒空做個兩三道菜,老婆回家路上再買個她想吃的東西當晚餐,想外食就外食。晚上哄完小孩睡覺再起來作自己的事。除了女兒,我也喜歡看到老婆的笑容跟被寵溺到的撒嬌。就分享到此,再說下去可能會被認出來。
頭期房貸我全扛(預計今年繳完),老婆在裝潢與生活費上有幫忙。老婆一直上班到生產前的兩個月,產檢啥的我一定全程陪伴接送,老婆生產後也是請完育嬰就去上班。當初是老婆堅決要生的,生之前我們也做過溝通與協商,雖然結果不如預期(小孩現在大部分都我顧,說好的我七妳三呢),但一直到現在沒聽過老婆拿懷孕生子的過程拿翹,只是偶爾會嬌嗔的說後悔沒有剛交往就生...
我知道我特別,因為我跟我老婆周遭都沒遇過這種例子,調查也顯示我老婆幸運到不行,但很少不代表沒有,眾人之所以追求愛情,不就是因為真愛難得嗎?當然每個人對於真愛的定義不同,不過既然是自己選的,不該在有小孩之前做好完整的評估嗎?周遭有老公只負責賺錢或職業是軍警消,老婆也能接受的例子,這也是一種家庭模式,做不到享受,至少也要接受並且給孩子愉悅的環境跟氣氛。
母親節要到了,一堆現代婦女的調查我就不複述了,但是我是真心不懂為什麼有這麼多人可以選錯另一半,甚至還一起生小孩,能不能幫忙解惑一下,評估雙方能力與經過婚後相處還無法認清自身不適合有小孩的原因是什麼呢?或者明知道不適合有小孩,但還是把無辜生命帶到世上的原因是什麼呢?自私自利?不開心的父母或離婚對小孩造成的影響是一輩子的,如果自認自己或另一半能力不足,能不能拜託不要生,或者養養動物就好。有些人的能力就是只能養養動物,就跟有些人不適合唸書一樣,可以勉強自己作不擅長的事,但前提是不要影響到別人是吧?
我想會有人說是因為我與老婆幸運能有穩定且工時正常的工作,或者擁有其它人沒有的條件。但是結婚生子本來就是需要經過完整的評估與調整的,要達到的食衣住行育樂等物質條件以及家庭生活等相處條件攤開來,雙方能達到再考慮下一步。一樣,要結婚沒問題,但要生子之前多三思吧,不要拖累家人社會以及害慘下一代。
補充一下,我們沒靠父母。再者,我說的特別沒有偉大或者厲害等涵意,我愛老婆與女兒,對她們好看她們笑是讓我自己覺得開心的事,如同我一開始說的,我所作的一切都只是為了讓自己開心,因此我也不會要求女兒現在或以後做出相對應的回報,記得,你的孩子不是你的孩子。
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