提親後發現雙方觀念差很多 - 結婚
By David
at 2015-07-09T02:51
at 2015-07-09T02:51
Table of Contents
Hi 小弟前陣子才提親, 提親之後讓我感到雙方家長觀念差蠻多的, 拜託各位前輩
指點我.
提親的時候, 有到女方家拿八字, 我家的人想說拿八字是個儀式, 再說我家也不信這些
(這觀念剛好我爺爺+外公都是這樣, 所以我爸媽也是這樣), 就直接找農民曆可以嫁娶
以及假日的時間當作訂結一起的日子.
對女方提出訂結的日子後, 我女朋友反問我這日子是怎麼來的, 我就照實跟她
們講, 結果她媽媽好像蠻生氣的, 說那我家幹嘛拿她女兒的八字.後來就叫我說我的出生
時間, 又一直問我要農曆的時辰不要國曆的, 不太相信我媽記的時間, 說國曆跟農曆記的
時間點可能不一樣, 要我一直跟我媽確認(但是我家都認為國曆時間換算回去應該是一樣
吧??).他們要拿八字去合的樣子, 而且貌似要回苗栗老家去請示神明問這日子O不OK.
到這裡, 我摸摸鼻子想說我的錯= =沒有讓雙方知道做事的方法.所以就想了一個
很笨的方法, 就是開一個網路文件. 每在上面提出問題, 雙方都要看並表示意見最後得到
一個大家都同意的結論, 每件事愈詳細越好, 上面有寫的才算有, 避免發生爭議.我就寫
了訂結當天的大概流程, 根據提親那天討論的結果, 本來我媽說訂結儀式都在餐廳比較方
便(有的親戚是這樣), 不過女方媽媽堅持訂婚儀式要去她家, 我家也同意了.當下就是訂
婚在女方家, 接著到餐廳舉行結婚儀式再開席宴客.(這樣流程很奇怪嗎?)
結果女朋友她媽媽說,"那怎麼沒去男方家舉行儀式呢?現在是她嫁女兒還是入贅?"
我想說那天提親都沒表示意見了, 現在甚麼情形...而且那天提親我爸媽也有去, 現在
如果我跟爸媽講說對方跟那天講的不一樣, 那我女朋友不就會黑掉...而且我想到那天提
親那天還有一些感覺會有衝突的地方, 比如說車子要插甘蔗(我媽不要, 她媽要).
好像還要甚麼小孩桶子還是洗腳的桶子(我媽也不要, 她媽要), 因為我爸媽都覺得現代
應該是不需要那些, 擺家裡也占空間也跟家裡style不搭, 所以也不要嫁妝, 有需要再買.
我想來想去, 上述那些我家是可能會妥協啦, 可是如果真的全照作, 我覺得女
朋友在我爸媽心中一定超黑= =(本來又說好住一起..).她家媽媽比較強勢, 女朋友似乎是
勸不動她媽的.我也講明如果有問題請直接跟我連絡, 不過她媽媽跟她說"沒有人這樣直接
問對方的啦".我真的沒轍.
請各位指點一下小弟, 謝謝. 真的超煩惱...
--
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結婚
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