成功的男人背後是什麼樣的女人 - 婚姻
By Dinah
at 2021-12-09T10:07
at 2021-12-09T10:07
Table of Contents
※ 引述《sugatou (sharonbao)》之銘言:
: 是否同意記者抄文:NO
: 各位事業有成的人夫,背後的老婆是如何支持呢?
要看你對事業有成的定義
我認為在台灣,事業有成最低門檻,是稅後年收超過 250 萬
在這樣的情況下,不管是房車,保母,月子中心
可以給家庭幾近錢能做到的全方位支持
能做到這點,那就是另一半(不分男女)跟著走,
不管是假日夫妻,下班後只管划手機當大爺
或者是隨著老公/老婆的事業地遷移我都看過
: 我跟先生年薪加起來破百出頭,彼此的工作都可正常上下班(繁忙時期的加班、為了賺加班費的加班不算)
: 但是先生非常不甘於這個職場,他不喜歡職場文化,工作內容也覺得很沒意義,薪水漲幅很慢很慢
: 他從單身的時候就一直很有企圖心,很想把自己丟到更有深度的職場鍛鍊自己、前往更高的高度
: 他的前公司就是這樣,每天高壓快節奏,調薪升遷都有管道(但是回到家都很累,是一條只會坐在床上滑手機的死魚)
: 當初可說是顧及小家庭才離職,他常常說如果現在還在前公司他年薪就有多少,看得出來他很想跳走,然後一直給我暗示
: 我的訴求很簡單,不管他在哪裡高就,他依然能負起對家庭的責任那我就沒有話講
: 我認為的家庭責任除了拿錢養家,還有小朋友的照顧(他一直很想要小孩),擦屁股換尿布泡奶等等我需要人分擔的時候他會在
: 但對先生而言,他看到的責任只有拿錢,他甚至說如果回到前公司,除了他長距離通勤外,也可以在那邊租房子方便通勤,變成假日夫妻
: 我就有點不諒解,有小朋友的情況還敢考慮假日夫妻??
: 因為公公做輪班的工作,婆婆只好全職在家帶小孩,小朋友大了才出去工作,我反問我先生不照顧小朋友?他都會回:「我爸媽就這樣啊」
: 爸爸只能做輪班的工作才不得已這樣分配,但今天是先生自己選擇要跳進那樣的生活,他做不來的(回到家太累不想做的)就要我吞?
: 他說提高收入是讓妻小過更好的生活,但我覺得只是倒果為因的詭辯,他自己都承認比起收入他更在意工作的前景跟成就感(因為現在工作的收入其實不算差了但他仍不滿意)
: 他說成功的男人背後都有一個默默支持的女人,他在意的我都不在意。只差沒明說我不支持他,是我在阻擋他發展前途
: 各位年收入200的人夫大大,是怎麼跟妻子協調家庭責任呢?
你們的問題是老公根本賺的不夠多,跟事業有成搭不上邊
所以你要問的不是事業有成要怎麼協調
而是"老公是高成就感需求者"這個命題
他需要是工作的成就感跟同事/長官的肯定
簡單說他是個需要掌聲的人
你要讓他先了解到這個事實,
而不是用"提高收入為了家庭好"來包裝他的高成就感需求
雙方先有了這個認知,才有辦法好好討論家庭規劃
他有這個需求,家庭要為他付出哪些代價,
那他要如何弭補這些部分
不然他只會用"為了家庭好"這個藉口進行情緒勒索
而你陷入了"我是不是不夠認真支持他"這種自我懷疑
--
: 是否同意記者抄文:NO
: 各位事業有成的人夫,背後的老婆是如何支持呢?
要看你對事業有成的定義
我認為在台灣,事業有成最低門檻,是稅後年收超過 250 萬
在這樣的情況下,不管是房車,保母,月子中心
可以給家庭幾近錢能做到的全方位支持
能做到這點,那就是另一半(不分男女)跟著走,
不管是假日夫妻,下班後只管划手機當大爺
或者是隨著老公/老婆的事業地遷移我都看過
: 我跟先生年薪加起來破百出頭,彼此的工作都可正常上下班(繁忙時期的加班、為了賺加班費的加班不算)
: 但是先生非常不甘於這個職場,他不喜歡職場文化,工作內容也覺得很沒意義,薪水漲幅很慢很慢
: 他從單身的時候就一直很有企圖心,很想把自己丟到更有深度的職場鍛鍊自己、前往更高的高度
: 他的前公司就是這樣,每天高壓快節奏,調薪升遷都有管道(但是回到家都很累,是一條只會坐在床上滑手機的死魚)
: 當初可說是顧及小家庭才離職,他常常說如果現在還在前公司他年薪就有多少,看得出來他很想跳走,然後一直給我暗示
: 我的訴求很簡單,不管他在哪裡高就,他依然能負起對家庭的責任那我就沒有話講
: 我認為的家庭責任除了拿錢養家,還有小朋友的照顧(他一直很想要小孩),擦屁股換尿布泡奶等等我需要人分擔的時候他會在
: 但對先生而言,他看到的責任只有拿錢,他甚至說如果回到前公司,除了他長距離通勤外,也可以在那邊租房子方便通勤,變成假日夫妻
: 我就有點不諒解,有小朋友的情況還敢考慮假日夫妻??
: 因為公公做輪班的工作,婆婆只好全職在家帶小孩,小朋友大了才出去工作,我反問我先生不照顧小朋友?他都會回:「我爸媽就這樣啊」
: 爸爸只能做輪班的工作才不得已這樣分配,但今天是先生自己選擇要跳進那樣的生活,他做不來的(回到家太累不想做的)就要我吞?
: 他說提高收入是讓妻小過更好的生活,但我覺得只是倒果為因的詭辯,他自己都承認比起收入他更在意工作的前景跟成就感(因為現在工作的收入其實不算差了但他仍不滿意)
: 他說成功的男人背後都有一個默默支持的女人,他在意的我都不在意。只差沒明說我不支持他,是我在阻擋他發展前途
: 各位年收入200的人夫大大,是怎麼跟妻子協調家庭責任呢?
你們的問題是老公根本賺的不夠多,跟事業有成搭不上邊
所以你要問的不是事業有成要怎麼協調
而是"老公是高成就感需求者"這個命題
他需要是工作的成就感跟同事/長官的肯定
簡單說他是個需要掌聲的人
你要讓他先了解到這個事實,
而不是用"提高收入為了家庭好"來包裝他的高成就感需求
雙方先有了這個認知,才有辦法好好討論家庭規劃
他有這個需求,家庭要為他付出哪些代價,
那他要如何弭補這些部分
不然他只會用"為了家庭好"這個藉口進行情緒勒索
而你陷入了"我是不是不夠認真支持他"這種自我懷疑
--
Tags:
婚姻
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