想問大家的接受程度 - 婚姻

By Tristan Cohan
at 2022-06-13T01:19
at 2022-06-13T01:19
Table of Contents
先生的同事很喜歡打牌,主管也有固定打牌的娛樂習慣,幾乎每週同事間都會安排打一場
大約4-6小時,對他來說打牌也有一些社交應酬的性質在,有時也會在我家打(同事或有
時有其他朋友的局,合計一個月大約2-3次)。
他們來的時候兩小(2.5Y+5M)就是我自己帶出門晃晃或買菜。
有時下雨出不了門,我哄小的睡時,大的就會跟著爸爸上牌桌湊熱鬧,或是看一下電視以
免搗亂害爸爸輸錢XD。
(補充說明一下,大寶很黏我,所以如果在家時我要哄二寶睡,多半要開電視,不然三分
鐘後就會哭著拍門找媽媽,所以這點沒有因為打牌有什麼差別,反而有可能因為大寶陪著
在牌桌搗亂可以少看點電視)
我自己除了覺得洗牌聲真的有點吵會影響小孩睡覺之外,倒是沒有特別感覺到很不愉快。
打牌對孩子的不良影響什麼的也還好,先生大學時是不錯的學校,他從大學外宿時就會跟
同學打,現在一起打牌的對象也不是什麼不三不四的人,輸贏也不大(最贏就三四千,常
常沒輸沒贏),所以對我來說真的就是類似打打桌遊的概念,打桌遊時他們還更吵,不如
打牌算了。而且孩子看到家裡有客人還會挺高興的。
因為先生是蠻需要社交的人,有了孩子之後朋友願意來家裡打牌我反而還有點感謝XD(畢
竟出門打的話要花的時間會更多),不過朋友來打牌我是完全不用招待,吃喝會自己叫外
送。
所以我覺得能不能接受也許真的很看個人,其他版友提到週末有大半天無法參與家庭活動
其實應該沒多少人能接受,但我老公缺乏社交一段時間就會要死不活的樣子,加上小孩也
比較愛黏我,平常週末育兒的工作大宗也是我,所以他打牌時的實際產值影響可能只有減
少1-2小時。因此為了他的幸福指數著想,來家裡打牌還算是可以接受的退讓。
更新補充:
回覆一下原po 的問題,看起來先生應該跟我先生一樣對打牌樂在其中,但打牌時間明顯
比我先生還長,頻率更高,而且打牌看起來除了先生爽以外,對家庭沒什麼附加價值。
那就看看你願意讓先生在家庭義務以外有多少時間可以去爽,假設他要打牌,如果還有其
他個人行程,就只能找不影響家庭義務的時間做(例如小孩都安頓好了之後)。另外如果
他一個禮拜可以連續爽個6-8小時,那你能不能也得到等量的放風時間?(但我相信有些
人在意的是若雙方都各自做自己的事情,那共同經營家庭的感受好像就被削弱了)
至於如果在意的是家裡有人出入、噪音、丟包小孩這點,我覺得就比較難容忍,看看是不
是能商量從每週變成一個月兩次的頻率,再慢慢多安排一些家庭活動,漸漸讓打牌不再是
週末的固定行程。
--
大約4-6小時,對他來說打牌也有一些社交應酬的性質在,有時也會在我家打(同事或有
時有其他朋友的局,合計一個月大約2-3次)。
他們來的時候兩小(2.5Y+5M)就是我自己帶出門晃晃或買菜。
有時下雨出不了門,我哄小的睡時,大的就會跟著爸爸上牌桌湊熱鬧,或是看一下電視以
免搗亂害爸爸輸錢XD。
(補充說明一下,大寶很黏我,所以如果在家時我要哄二寶睡,多半要開電視,不然三分
鐘後就會哭著拍門找媽媽,所以這點沒有因為打牌有什麼差別,反而有可能因為大寶陪著
在牌桌搗亂可以少看點電視)
我自己除了覺得洗牌聲真的有點吵會影響小孩睡覺之外,倒是沒有特別感覺到很不愉快。
打牌對孩子的不良影響什麼的也還好,先生大學時是不錯的學校,他從大學外宿時就會跟
同學打,現在一起打牌的對象也不是什麼不三不四的人,輸贏也不大(最贏就三四千,常
常沒輸沒贏),所以對我來說真的就是類似打打桌遊的概念,打桌遊時他們還更吵,不如
打牌算了。而且孩子看到家裡有客人還會挺高興的。
因為先生是蠻需要社交的人,有了孩子之後朋友願意來家裡打牌我反而還有點感謝XD(畢
竟出門打的話要花的時間會更多),不過朋友來打牌我是完全不用招待,吃喝會自己叫外
送。
所以我覺得能不能接受也許真的很看個人,其他版友提到週末有大半天無法參與家庭活動
其實應該沒多少人能接受,但我老公缺乏社交一段時間就會要死不活的樣子,加上小孩也
比較愛黏我,平常週末育兒的工作大宗也是我,所以他打牌時的實際產值影響可能只有減
少1-2小時。因此為了他的幸福指數著想,來家裡打牌還算是可以接受的退讓。
更新補充:
回覆一下原po 的問題,看起來先生應該跟我先生一樣對打牌樂在其中,但打牌時間明顯
比我先生還長,頻率更高,而且打牌看起來除了先生爽以外,對家庭沒什麼附加價值。
那就看看你願意讓先生在家庭義務以外有多少時間可以去爽,假設他要打牌,如果還有其
他個人行程,就只能找不影響家庭義務的時間做(例如小孩都安頓好了之後)。另外如果
他一個禮拜可以連續爽個6-8小時,那你能不能也得到等量的放風時間?(但我相信有些
人在意的是若雙方都各自做自己的事情,那共同經營家庭的感受好像就被削弱了)
至於如果在意的是家裡有人出入、噪音、丟包小孩這點,我覺得就比較難容忍,看看是不
是能商量從每週變成一個月兩次的頻率,再慢慢多安排一些家庭活動,漸漸讓打牌不再是
週末的固定行程。
--
Tags:
婚姻
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