快撐不下去了 - 婚姻

By Noah
at 2022-03-30T15:27
at 2022-03-30T15:27
Table of Contents
是否同意記者抄文:NO
手機排版/文很長
夫妻成長背景介紹:
無小孩
我:台北人,爸媽分別在軍公教任職及布行上班。
目前跟小姑還有婆家一起合資經營一間小吃店(租約一年目前經營約半年),主要是我跟
小姑在顧店,婆家負責寄貨上來而已。但前期資金都是大家平分,後面分潤是依4:4:2(
婆家)。
男方:雲林人,家裡在雲林經營快炒店。生意小孩,從小假日或連假都要回家幫忙。現在
每個月都會給一萬塊孝親費,但還是一直被要求回家幫忙。
-目前存在的問題或價值觀上的差異-
事件1:連假或過年我都要跟著回去婆家幫忙,尤其過年,婆家會要求說依照傳統除夕早
上就要回去,因為要拜拜跟吃團圓飯。
但是身為媳婦卻不能初二就回家,還要幫他們到最不忙的時候可能初四或初五才能回去(
這點是小姑說婆家的人喜歡用討論的方式,而不是直接告知說要初二回家這樣),這個時
候就會說因為家裡特殊情況,所以要求媳婦提前或延後回娘家。
已經連續兩年過年都這樣了,然後過年可以從早上11點忙到晚上11點,全勤只包一萬塊紅
包。
還有像跨年那種日子跟朋友約出去玩還會被罵說為什麼一定要挑那一天,不知道家裡會忙
嗎?
其實老公跟小姑都有反抗過,只是婆家都會丟一句:「不要做,不然你們養我」。但他們
意思也不是說不要做,因為他們現在是兩個人顧15桌左右的熱炒店,只是希望縮小規模,
留個可以顧得來的桌數,畢竟小孩在外縣市也都有工作,沒辦法支援。但這時候婆家又會
說:「有錢賺為什麼不賺」,每次說到這裡又進入一個死迴圈。
事件2: 其實經營小吃店這邊做得非常不開心,因為從小不是在這個環境下長大的,整個
模式跟辦公室完全不一樣,這邊我承認我那時候沒有深思熟慮所以一股腦地答應。
名義上講說自己當老闆,但實際上真正的老闆還是婆家那邊,從賣的品項、營業時間等等
都是由他們決定,我們完全沒有話語權,再來最讓我感到不舒服的是,店家裝監視器我覺
得正常,但婆家常常來拿監視我們,例如:有一次業務來店裡推銷,當推銷人員一走,小
姑電話馬上來,是婆婆打來問說推銷人員說什麼。
事件3:前陣子我們夫妻倆牽新車沒事先告知婆家,而他們是等我們交車後才知道他們就
整個爆氣。問題是買車的任何一筆花費都沒有跟婆家拿任何一毛錢,頭期款是先跟娘家借
,但娘家二話不說說好。
後來婆婆還說:「如果你們買車,我們可以借你們錢,還會用比外面低的利率算給你們,
但現在沒有先講,那就不可能借錢給你們了。」
我當下聽到只覺得滿頭問號,既然要借錢還借的這麼不乾脆,平常有事的時候都說大家都
是一家人不要這麼計較,然後跟自己的小孩算利息。
-
目前身心靈狀態都已經快不行了,要從小吃店退出也沒這麼快,也要找到人手或是租約到
期才能退。有跟老公抱怨過,但老公只會回我說我父母對我太好,我過太爽這種話。但我
覺得身為伴侶不是應該在對方低潮的時候,安慰或是想一些對策出來嗎。
其實我現在也不知道開小吃店這邊有沒有算用到婆家資源,不過前期資金平分跟分潤,只
要有關於錢的部分都完全沒有佔便宜,算得清清楚楚這點是我最慶幸的。只是這些事情種
種,讓我感受到婆家養兒防老的觀念很嚴重。
現在最希望的就是可以在租約到期後能過和婆家完全斷絕經濟往來的關係。
--
手機排版/文很長
夫妻成長背景介紹:
無小孩
我:台北人,爸媽分別在軍公教任職及布行上班。
目前跟小姑還有婆家一起合資經營一間小吃店(租約一年目前經營約半年),主要是我跟
小姑在顧店,婆家負責寄貨上來而已。但前期資金都是大家平分,後面分潤是依4:4:2(
婆家)。
男方:雲林人,家裡在雲林經營快炒店。生意小孩,從小假日或連假都要回家幫忙。現在
每個月都會給一萬塊孝親費,但還是一直被要求回家幫忙。
-目前存在的問題或價值觀上的差異-
事件1:連假或過年我都要跟著回去婆家幫忙,尤其過年,婆家會要求說依照傳統除夕早
上就要回去,因為要拜拜跟吃團圓飯。
但是身為媳婦卻不能初二就回家,還要幫他們到最不忙的時候可能初四或初五才能回去(
這點是小姑說婆家的人喜歡用討論的方式,而不是直接告知說要初二回家這樣),這個時
候就會說因為家裡特殊情況,所以要求媳婦提前或延後回娘家。
已經連續兩年過年都這樣了,然後過年可以從早上11點忙到晚上11點,全勤只包一萬塊紅
包。
還有像跨年那種日子跟朋友約出去玩還會被罵說為什麼一定要挑那一天,不知道家裡會忙
嗎?
其實老公跟小姑都有反抗過,只是婆家都會丟一句:「不要做,不然你們養我」。但他們
意思也不是說不要做,因為他們現在是兩個人顧15桌左右的熱炒店,只是希望縮小規模,
留個可以顧得來的桌數,畢竟小孩在外縣市也都有工作,沒辦法支援。但這時候婆家又會
說:「有錢賺為什麼不賺」,每次說到這裡又進入一個死迴圈。
事件2: 其實經營小吃店這邊做得非常不開心,因為從小不是在這個環境下長大的,整個
模式跟辦公室完全不一樣,這邊我承認我那時候沒有深思熟慮所以一股腦地答應。
名義上講說自己當老闆,但實際上真正的老闆還是婆家那邊,從賣的品項、營業時間等等
都是由他們決定,我們完全沒有話語權,再來最讓我感到不舒服的是,店家裝監視器我覺
得正常,但婆家常常來拿監視我們,例如:有一次業務來店裡推銷,當推銷人員一走,小
姑電話馬上來,是婆婆打來問說推銷人員說什麼。
事件3:前陣子我們夫妻倆牽新車沒事先告知婆家,而他們是等我們交車後才知道他們就
整個爆氣。問題是買車的任何一筆花費都沒有跟婆家拿任何一毛錢,頭期款是先跟娘家借
,但娘家二話不說說好。
後來婆婆還說:「如果你們買車,我們可以借你們錢,還會用比外面低的利率算給你們,
但現在沒有先講,那就不可能借錢給你們了。」
我當下聽到只覺得滿頭問號,既然要借錢還借的這麼不乾脆,平常有事的時候都說大家都
是一家人不要這麼計較,然後跟自己的小孩算利息。
-
目前身心靈狀態都已經快不行了,要從小吃店退出也沒這麼快,也要找到人手或是租約到
期才能退。有跟老公抱怨過,但老公只會回我說我父母對我太好,我過太爽這種話。但我
覺得身為伴侶不是應該在對方低潮的時候,安慰或是想一些對策出來嗎。
其實我現在也不知道開小吃店這邊有沒有算用到婆家資源,不過前期資金平分跟分潤,只
要有關於錢的部分都完全沒有佔便宜,算得清清楚楚這點是我最慶幸的。只是這些事情種
種,讓我感受到婆家養兒防老的觀念很嚴重。
現在最希望的就是可以在租約到期後能過和婆家完全斷絕經濟往來的關係。
--
Tags:
婚姻
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