很想有效的解決婆媳問題 - 婚姻
By Andrew
at 2010-05-26T14:33
at 2010-05-26T14:33
Table of Contents
發現到,最近只有這種完整的發文,才引的起我的回文慾望!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(1) ~~~~~ 前言 ~~~~~~
在回文之前,先問二個問題:
婆婆可能把媳婦當女兒嗎?
女婿可能把岳母當成自己媽媽嗎?
為什麼問這個問題喔?
因為我前幾天聽到某個案子。老公也算是飽讀詩書的RD,工作上也頗有成就。
但是卻發生下列的對話,而且還不止一次。
男:「妳為什麼不能把我媽當成你媽呢?我媽都把你當成女兒看耶!」
女:「那我能夠像你妹一樣,吃完飯之後,蹺個二郎腿在客廳,等著你媽把水果
送上來給我吃?並且自動去洗碗收桌子,把地拖乾淨?在這些時候,還要
顧著我們孩子,別來煩我看電視休息,可以嗎?」
說實話,這讓我非常震驚!!因為就我來看,這位老公算是好爸爸,爆肝賺錢,
假日還常帶妻子兒子出去遊山玩水,認真負責。知識水平上,也絕對稱的上是國家
精英棟樑。可是在這件人際關係處理上,就是想不透!
(2)婆婆觀點
請記住以下金玉良言,也是本篇的重點。從此出發,你將無往不利 ^_^
媳婦就是搶了自己兒子的外人
(相對應的一句話:女婿就是搶了自己女兒的壞人)
不用和我辯解什麼『我媽媽不是這種人』、『我媽不會這麼想』之類。這是人
之天性;天下當然有白色的烏鴉,只是比例問題而己。
(3)媳婦態度
相對於,婆婆這個角色,在一般台灣人的觀念裡,仍然被重視著,所以本版才
會這麼熱門。若是婆婆不重要,本版絕對冷清的像PM版一樣 XD。
簡單來說,同樣一句話:『這個西瓜不夠甜。』
若是由我媽說出,我會聽聽當耳邊風,當成我媽只是找話和我聊天。
若是我老婆說出,我會試著記起來,或是下次不再買西瓜省的被念。
若是我岳父說出,我下次送禮時,一定買最貴的西瓜給他,而且還要有造型!
相信把上述的角色對調,應該不用我解釋下去。
媳婦與婆婆相處時,仍然會有壓力。或許不大,但是下班後總是想休息。這種
無形的傳統壓力,也是媳婦願意和婆婆住的原因。若是像西方觀念,媳婦有無比
正當的理由搬出家的。
這種傳統的壓力,有優點,當然也有缺點。
(4) 說實話
說實話啦,Eric你家,根本沒有什麼大問題。只是你很煩於處理這種人際關係,
而且每一方都不能夠得罪。
婆媳問題能否解決?答案是不能、不可能、絕對不可能。
認命吧,請認命吧,二腿一夾認命吧,打落牙齒的認命吧~~~~~~~~~~
你只能夠找出一些相處之道,讓雙方的磨擦減少而己。
(5) 結論
因為傳統的觀念,讓你老婆願意住婆家。代價就是媳婦與婆婆在傳統上的壓力,
也同時存在。你只是搬出去,就解決問題;但是我猜Eric兄不會。
夫妻之間會吵架,母子之間會吵架,婆媳之間當然也會。把這件事當成太陽從東
邊出來,人都要空氣一樣自然的話,心態一轉,所有事情都迎刃而解。那件產品沒
有bug,沒有limitation,所以才需要RD來解決問題啊。
結論就是,老婆、母親、姊姊,都是家人,是人就會意見不合而產生爭吵,處理
是必需的,這就是人蔘啊啊啊啊啊…………
--
我的blog,懷念的山外幫
http://blog.pixnet.net/djboylee
--
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婚姻
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