岳父每天都來家裡報到該如何調適 - 婚姻
By Kumar
at 2023-04-13T02:12
at 2023-04-13T02:12
Table of Contents
更新:
看到大家給的意見 今天直接跟太太講自己的感覺
從原本以為自己只是重視隱私 不希望欠岳父母太多
-->發現其實主要是自己一直暗地裡討厭岳父,因為如果是岳母平日來好像就不會有感覺
這是我發文完才自己發現的
老婆很能體諒我的感受 因為他其實也有注意到岳父抱小孩有時候會突然變比較嚴厲
長大之後小孩如果不聽話 大聲責斥 可能也會影響小孩 這個狀況要再觀察
另外跟我想的不一樣 她其實跟他岳父沒有因為這樣感情好 反而是岳父母之間感情變好
岳父比較不會罵岳母 所以太太也開心
太太也說會慢慢把來看的時間移到我們都在的時間 不過需要時間給岳父習慣
不過很多人一直專注在一打一這個問題 不知道為什麼講了好多遍 目前我老婆會有一打一
的時數真的不高她自己也覺得 是我比較累 文中也寫好幾次 這個不是重點
但是很多人還是會FOCUS在這個 不知道是不是大家對配偶積怨已久
最後謝謝很多人給我的建議要如何調適心情包括當作訓練岳父脾氣減少之後相處難度 或
是減敏療法反而要多在同一個空間相處 會比較能夠慢慢調適
我也真的很感謝我太太非常能夠和我溝通一起解決互相的疙瘩 也希望大家也都能跟配偶
多多溝通 第一次覺得上來發問真的對我有幫助
背景:我和太太是雙薪 今年才剛生小孩 太太請完產假去上班 所以目前小寶寶3個月開始
送托嬰中心 我的上班時間一周可能會有四天有晚班(包括兩天週末)太太上班時間以平
日早班為主 所以目前都是我送托 太太接回
從太太產假開始岳父就是只要我不在家的時間每天都會來我們家幫忙我太太 照顧小孩或
煮東西(單趟車程約50分鐘)因為岳父退休了 來也還滿開心的就這樣過了三個月
最近開始送去托嬰中心 但是岳父還是會習慣每天下午四五點到托嬰中心和我太太一起接
孩子下課 等到我回家的前30分鐘左右就離開(有時候可能七點 或八點多)然後週末兩天
我最近也要上班 岳父母也會等我上班就來 下班回家就走 雖然他們很貼心怕影響到我休
息 我也幾乎沒有看到他們 但是我總覺得有點負擔 覺得好像是我沒時間陪孩子 所以需要
他們來幫忙 但是太太表示現在其實只是他們很想看孫子 所以主動要過來
想請問各位前輩都怎麼處理這種有點自我的想法 理性上覺得不讓岳父母來看孩子很自私
不該提出這個問題 但是一方面卻會覺得不舒服 覺得為什麼要那麼常介入我們家的空間和
生活 因為我是比較龜毛 注重隱私的人
-------------------------------------
看完推文 稍微補充一下背景
岳父在我老婆國小時候 因為酒後幾次打岳母家暴 所以岳母和老婆有被社會局安置
老婆因而得到總統的獎學金 所以我才知道
老婆對岳父是沒有怨言的 反而很希望跟岳父關係變好
但是岳父本身不是社交正常的人 稍微偏激 有時候還是會大聲罵岳母
不過目前不太喝酒 所以家暴的風險應該不高
但是我可能潛意識每次岳父碰到小孩我就有點不舒服
老婆工作: 每週平日四天上午工作四小時, 周工時16小時,下午大部分是沒事的
我的工作:平日有兩天晚上九點到家 週六日有一天要上班約八小時
目前工作分配: 周間四天半夜我負責餵奶哄睡 早上帶去托嬰, 另外三天由老婆負責半夜
只要我在家的時候都是我主要照顧 老婆擠奶 家事我平日早上會做完
老婆在我不在的時候一打一他也自認為是完全沒問題的 因為時間其實也不長
目前確實也是岳父平日主動要來看小孩子的(岳母平日上班)
目前是希望岳父母在我周末有在家的時候再來 但是我老婆也滿開心她爸爸平日也一直
來看孫女 但是我每次看到岳父抱女兒的照片 總是會有一絲疙瘩
-----
Sent from JPTT on my Sony XQ-AS72.
--
看到大家給的意見 今天直接跟太太講自己的感覺
從原本以為自己只是重視隱私 不希望欠岳父母太多
-->發現其實主要是自己一直暗地裡討厭岳父,因為如果是岳母平日來好像就不會有感覺
這是我發文完才自己發現的
老婆很能體諒我的感受 因為他其實也有注意到岳父抱小孩有時候會突然變比較嚴厲
長大之後小孩如果不聽話 大聲責斥 可能也會影響小孩 這個狀況要再觀察
另外跟我想的不一樣 她其實跟他岳父沒有因為這樣感情好 反而是岳父母之間感情變好
岳父比較不會罵岳母 所以太太也開心
太太也說會慢慢把來看的時間移到我們都在的時間 不過需要時間給岳父習慣
不過很多人一直專注在一打一這個問題 不知道為什麼講了好多遍 目前我老婆會有一打一
的時數真的不高她自己也覺得 是我比較累 文中也寫好幾次 這個不是重點
但是很多人還是會FOCUS在這個 不知道是不是大家對配偶積怨已久
最後謝謝很多人給我的建議要如何調適心情包括當作訓練岳父脾氣減少之後相處難度 或
是減敏療法反而要多在同一個空間相處 會比較能夠慢慢調適
我也真的很感謝我太太非常能夠和我溝通一起解決互相的疙瘩 也希望大家也都能跟配偶
多多溝通 第一次覺得上來發問真的對我有幫助
背景:我和太太是雙薪 今年才剛生小孩 太太請完產假去上班 所以目前小寶寶3個月開始
送托嬰中心 我的上班時間一周可能會有四天有晚班(包括兩天週末)太太上班時間以平
日早班為主 所以目前都是我送托 太太接回
從太太產假開始岳父就是只要我不在家的時間每天都會來我們家幫忙我太太 照顧小孩或
煮東西(單趟車程約50分鐘)因為岳父退休了 來也還滿開心的就這樣過了三個月
最近開始送去托嬰中心 但是岳父還是會習慣每天下午四五點到托嬰中心和我太太一起接
孩子下課 等到我回家的前30分鐘左右就離開(有時候可能七點 或八點多)然後週末兩天
我最近也要上班 岳父母也會等我上班就來 下班回家就走 雖然他們很貼心怕影響到我休
息 我也幾乎沒有看到他們 但是我總覺得有點負擔 覺得好像是我沒時間陪孩子 所以需要
他們來幫忙 但是太太表示現在其實只是他們很想看孫子 所以主動要過來
想請問各位前輩都怎麼處理這種有點自我的想法 理性上覺得不讓岳父母來看孩子很自私
不該提出這個問題 但是一方面卻會覺得不舒服 覺得為什麼要那麼常介入我們家的空間和
生活 因為我是比較龜毛 注重隱私的人
-------------------------------------
看完推文 稍微補充一下背景
岳父在我老婆國小時候 因為酒後幾次打岳母家暴 所以岳母和老婆有被社會局安置
老婆因而得到總統的獎學金 所以我才知道
老婆對岳父是沒有怨言的 反而很希望跟岳父關係變好
但是岳父本身不是社交正常的人 稍微偏激 有時候還是會大聲罵岳母
不過目前不太喝酒 所以家暴的風險應該不高
但是我可能潛意識每次岳父碰到小孩我就有點不舒服
老婆工作: 每週平日四天上午工作四小時, 周工時16小時,下午大部分是沒事的
我的工作:平日有兩天晚上九點到家 週六日有一天要上班約八小時
目前工作分配: 周間四天半夜我負責餵奶哄睡 早上帶去托嬰, 另外三天由老婆負責半夜
只要我在家的時候都是我主要照顧 老婆擠奶 家事我平日早上會做完
老婆在我不在的時候一打一他也自認為是完全沒問題的 因為時間其實也不長
目前確實也是岳父平日主動要來看小孩子的(岳母平日上班)
目前是希望岳父母在我周末有在家的時候再來 但是我老婆也滿開心她爸爸平日也一直
來看孫女 但是我每次看到岳父抱女兒的照片 總是會有一絲疙瘩
-----
Sent from JPTT on my Sony XQ-AS72.
--
Tags:
婚姻
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By Daph Bay
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By Liam
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By Olive
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By Adele
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By Selena
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By Jake
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By Ida
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By Iris
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By Jacob
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By Hardy
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By Hardy
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By Elizabeth
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By Jack
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By Rosalind
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By Eden
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By Olive
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By Jake
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By Charlie
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By Robert
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By Donna
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By Isabella
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By Jacky
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By Frederica
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By Kumar
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By Edith
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By Daniel
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By Lydia
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By Skylar Davis
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By Barb Cronin
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By Rachel
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By Una
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By Eartha
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By Olive
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By Hedda
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By Cara
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By Michael
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By Michael
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By Bethany
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By Zanna
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By Anonymous
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By Hedy
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By Hedy
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By Elma
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By Zenobia
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By Dinah
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By Queena
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By Elizabeth
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By Bennie
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By Selena
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By Daniel
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By Rosalind
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By Oscar
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By Andy
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By Ida
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By John
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By Madame
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By David
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By Odelette
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By Kelly
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By Necoo
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By Erin
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By Yedda
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By Mary
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By William
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By Hazel
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By Zanna
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By Caroline
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By Kama
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By Emma
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By Andy
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By Regina
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By William
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By Noah
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By Adele
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By Christine
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By Dorothy
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By Gilbert
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By Delia
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By Lucy
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By Erin
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By Irma
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By Lily
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By Victoria
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By Madame
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By Hamiltion
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By Christine
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By Ingrid
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By Lydia
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By Audriana
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By Edwina
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By Charlie
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By Oliver
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By Mia
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By Barb Cronin
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By Susan
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at 2023-05-09T14:50
By Barb Cronin
at 2023-05-07T15:32
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By Olive
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By Genevieve
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By Bennie
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By Hamiltion
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By Brianna
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By Bennie
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By Mary
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By Olivia
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By Anonymous
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By Frederic
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By Faithe
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By Necoo
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By Brianna
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By Selena
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By Eden
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By Gilbert
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By Gilbert
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By Necoo
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at 2023-05-07T15:32
By Susan
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By Susan
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By Xanthe
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By Ula
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By George
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By John
at 2023-05-07T15:32
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By Hamiltion
at 2023-05-09T14:50
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By George
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By Lydia
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By James
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By Lily
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By Gilbert
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By Freda
at 2023-05-09T14:50
at 2023-05-09T14:50
By Todd Johnson
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By Sandy
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By Susan
at 2023-05-07T15:32
at 2023-05-07T15:32
By Susan
at 2023-05-09T14:50
at 2023-05-09T14:50
By Carolina Franco
at 2023-05-07T15:32
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By Margaret
at 2023-05-09T14:50
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By Jacob
at 2023-05-07T15:32
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By Gary
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By Rosalind
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By George
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By Kumar
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By Genevieve
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By Sandy
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By Jessica
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By Candice
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By Oliver
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By Kyle
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By Mia
at 2023-05-09T14:50
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By Zenobia
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By Joseph
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By Erin
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By Agatha
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By Daniel
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at 2023-05-07T15:32
By Tristan Cohan
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By Ethan
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By Agatha
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By William
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By Tristan Cohan
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By Kelly
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By Vanessa
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By Olivia
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By Regina
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By Franklin
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By Aaliyah
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By Ophelia
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By Oliver
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By Aaliyah
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By Lily
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By Iris
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By Iris
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By Vanessa
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By Olive
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By Genevieve
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By Ula
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By Blanche
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By Jack
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By Bennie
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By Ula
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By Adele
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By Tom
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By Erin
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By Elizabeth
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By Anonymous
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By Hardy
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By Elizabeth
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at 2023-05-07T15:32
By Zenobia
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By Franklin
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By Jake
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By Damian
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By Yedda
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By Queena
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By Kama
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By Michael
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By Bethany
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By Bethany
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By Anonymous
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By Robert
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By Thomas
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By Harry
at 2023-05-07T15:32
at 2023-05-07T15:32
By Suhail Hany
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By Freda
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By Susan
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at 2023-05-09T14:50
By Carolina Franco
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at 2023-05-07T15:32
By Edward Lewis
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By Olive
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at 2023-05-07T15:32
By Sierra Rose
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By Cara
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By Kama
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By Daniel
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By Skylar Davis
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By Vanessa
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By Gilbert
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By Regina
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By Edwina
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By Quanna
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By Sandy
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By Delia
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at 2023-05-07T15:32
By Heather
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By Tristan Cohan
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By Jack
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By Poppy
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By Gary
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By Jacob
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By Christine
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By Donna
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By Joe
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By Daniel
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By Quanna
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By Hamiltion
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at 2023-05-07T15:32
By Callum
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By Charlotte
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By Frederic
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By Ivy
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By Harry
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By Margaret
at 2023-05-07T15:32
at 2023-05-07T15:32
By Gary
at 2023-05-09T14:50
at 2023-05-09T14:50
By Skylar DavisLinda
at 2023-05-07T15:32
at 2023-05-07T15:32
By Quanna
at 2023-05-09T14:50
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By Aaliyah
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By Rae
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By Margaret
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By Jacky
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By Vanessa
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at 2023-05-07T15:32
By Edward Lewis
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at 2023-05-09T14:50
By Christine
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at 2023-05-07T15:32
By Heather
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By Kyle
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By Poppy
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By Robert
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By Irma
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By Adele
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By Liam
at 2023-05-09T14:50
at 2023-05-09T14:50
By Charlotte
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By Joseph
at 2023-05-09T14:50
at 2023-05-09T14:50
By Jack
at 2023-05-07T15:32
at 2023-05-07T15:32
By Skylar DavisLinda
at 2023-05-09T14:50
at 2023-05-09T14:50
By Zora
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By Jacky
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By Dora
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By Connor
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By Edwina
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By Kama
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By Catherine
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By Agatha
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By Olivia
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By Hedwig
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By Lydia
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By Liam
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at 2023-05-09T14:50
By Hardy
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