對我爸搶孫的行為感到無奈 - 婚姻

By Skylar DavisLinda
at 2021-07-20T22:08
at 2021-07-20T22:08
Table of Contents
先說個人的想法:
就你自己軟弱擋不住啊!
搞清楚,兒子這個身份已經不是你的第一角色了,
你今天應該先是人父、人夫,行有餘力再來考慮當孝子!
我的狀況跟你有點像,但程度更嚴重。
我是家中獨子,上面一個姐姐,
兒子不但是他的長孫,更是整個家族目前唯一的第四代。
而我父親則是標準 “My way or no way!!!” 作風的超級沙文主義者,
從小到大都用他的標準來控制全家,
最愛用的大絕就是威嚇住在他的房子裡就得聽他的。
金孫出世後更是以他的標準來指導全家如何養育金孫,
甚至還在我住院時對著家姊放話,
要我太太帶著出生未滿三個月的兒子滾出去,
只因為 "他覺得" 我太太不尊重他。
我的解決方式就是:
與太太忍到金孫滿周歲後馬上搬出去。
即便我還在接受化療,生活有諸多不便且隨時可能因感染而住院;
即便當下找不到合適的住處,只能一家三口擠在一間套房,
還是決定搬走,隨後在一年內買房,
回去 "他的房子" 的頻率也從每週變成兩三週一次。
但大家都知道跟著老人家一輩子的脾氣不可能在這種程度的衝擊下就改變,
距離帶來的美感遲早會逐漸失效。
時間久了,各種花式隔空指導與批判果然又捲土重來。
最後的結局就是我直接封殺自己的父親,完全不讓他與金孫接觸,
連過年都直接約丈母娘與太太的姊妹出遊,
讓父親自己去跟他媽交代為什麼第三和第四代今年沒回家。
父親也十分硬脾氣的的在初二把我和太太踢出家族群組,
我們也就名正言順的組了一個只有太座、家姊、家母與我的群組繼續保持聯絡。
今年金孫生日當天父親致電表示準備了禮物要給金孫,
他來交付禮物就走,不會跟我囉嗦,也被我直接回絕。
再過兩個月,父親就滿一年沒見到金孫了,
他能忍多久?我不知道;
結局會怎樣?我也不知道。
我只知道不用跟宇宙中心相處,讓我們一家都輕鬆了許多。
這是我自己的例子,不是鼓勵你去做一個逆子,
只是要提醒你,不要忘記你現在的角色,
不要忘記身分證上面你太太的配偶欄寫的是誰,
不要忘記你小孩的監護人是誰。
翻臉也好,和緩但堅持也好,你不是不知道該怎麼處理,
你只是不想面對那個場面罷了,問題是,
你不站出來,你期待誰站出來?鋼鐵人還是蝙蝠俠嗎?
--
就你自己軟弱擋不住啊!
搞清楚,兒子這個身份已經不是你的第一角色了,
你今天應該先是人父、人夫,行有餘力再來考慮當孝子!
我的狀況跟你有點像,但程度更嚴重。
我是家中獨子,上面一個姐姐,
兒子不但是他的長孫,更是整個家族目前唯一的第四代。
而我父親則是標準 “My way or no way!!!” 作風的超級沙文主義者,
從小到大都用他的標準來控制全家,
最愛用的大絕就是威嚇住在他的房子裡就得聽他的。
金孫出世後更是以他的標準來指導全家如何養育金孫,
甚至還在我住院時對著家姊放話,
要我太太帶著出生未滿三個月的兒子滾出去,
只因為 "他覺得" 我太太不尊重他。
我的解決方式就是:
與太太忍到金孫滿周歲後馬上搬出去。
即便我還在接受化療,生活有諸多不便且隨時可能因感染而住院;
即便當下找不到合適的住處,只能一家三口擠在一間套房,
還是決定搬走,隨後在一年內買房,
回去 "他的房子" 的頻率也從每週變成兩三週一次。
但大家都知道跟著老人家一輩子的脾氣不可能在這種程度的衝擊下就改變,
距離帶來的美感遲早會逐漸失效。
時間久了,各種花式隔空指導與批判果然又捲土重來。
最後的結局就是我直接封殺自己的父親,完全不讓他與金孫接觸,
連過年都直接約丈母娘與太太的姊妹出遊,
讓父親自己去跟他媽交代為什麼第三和第四代今年沒回家。
父親也十分硬脾氣的的在初二把我和太太踢出家族群組,
我們也就名正言順的組了一個只有太座、家姊、家母與我的群組繼續保持聯絡。
今年金孫生日當天父親致電表示準備了禮物要給金孫,
他來交付禮物就走,不會跟我囉嗦,也被我直接回絕。
再過兩個月,父親就滿一年沒見到金孫了,
他能忍多久?我不知道;
結局會怎樣?我也不知道。
我只知道不用跟宇宙中心相處,讓我們一家都輕鬆了許多。
這是我自己的例子,不是鼓勵你去做一個逆子,
只是要提醒你,不要忘記你現在的角色,
不要忘記身分證上面你太太的配偶欄寫的是誰,
不要忘記你小孩的監護人是誰。
翻臉也好,和緩但堅持也好,你不是不知道該怎麼處理,
你只是不想面對那個場面罷了,問題是,
你不站出來,你期待誰站出來?鋼鐵人還是蝙蝠俠嗎?
--
Tags:
婚姻
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at 2022-12-02T04:50

By Vanessa
at 2022-12-05T01:42
at 2022-12-05T01:42

By Charlie
at 2022-12-05T13:47
at 2022-12-05T13:47

By Elma
at 2022-12-05T17:05
at 2022-12-05T17:05

By Isabella
at 2022-12-06T00:38
at 2022-12-06T00:38

By Barb Cronin
at 2022-12-08T20:28
at 2022-12-08T20:28

By Carol
at 2022-12-10T11:13
at 2022-12-10T11:13

By Donna
at 2022-12-10T16:51
at 2022-12-10T16:51

By Carol
at 2022-12-15T16:13
at 2022-12-15T16:13

By Tom
at 2022-12-20T00:10
at 2022-12-20T00:10

By Skylar Davis
at 2022-12-24T21:23
at 2022-12-24T21:23

By Lily
at 2022-12-28T17:30
at 2022-12-28T17:30

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at 2022-12-31T14:57
at 2022-12-31T14:57

By Frederic
at 2023-01-01T05:49
at 2023-01-01T05:49

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at 2023-01-02T02:01
at 2023-01-02T02:01

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at 2023-01-03T10:21
at 2023-01-03T10:21

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at 2023-01-04T08:53
at 2023-01-04T08:53

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at 2023-01-08T05:37
at 2023-01-08T05:37

By Edith
at 2023-01-10T00:33
at 2023-01-10T00:33

By Vanessa
at 2023-01-14T19:22
at 2023-01-14T19:22

By Olga
at 2023-01-19T08:57
at 2023-01-19T08:57

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at 2023-01-20T06:14
at 2023-01-20T06:14

By Mia
at 2023-01-23T00:59
at 2023-01-23T00:59

By Vanessa
at 2023-01-27T20:22
at 2023-01-27T20:22

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at 2023-01-28T07:01
at 2023-01-28T07:01

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at 2023-01-30T21:28
at 2023-01-30T21:28

By Oliver
at 2023-02-04T05:36
at 2023-02-04T05:36

By Valerie
at 2023-02-07T22:13
at 2023-02-07T22:13

By Wallis
at 2023-02-08T01:13
at 2023-02-08T01:13

By Carol
at 2023-02-10T19:41
at 2023-02-10T19:41

By Tracy
at 2023-02-12T13:50
at 2023-02-12T13:50

By Annie
at 2023-02-16T15:26
at 2023-02-16T15:26

By Rosalind
at 2023-02-20T16:03
at 2023-02-20T16:03

By Hardy
at 2023-02-22T12:30
at 2023-02-22T12:30

By Elizabeth
at 2023-02-24T21:33
at 2023-02-24T21:33

By Franklin
at 2023-02-26T08:55
at 2023-02-26T08:55

By Susan
at 2023-02-26T13:57
at 2023-02-26T13:57

By Aaliyah
at 2023-02-26T18:14
at 2023-02-26T18:14

By Odelette
at 2023-03-03T08:23
at 2023-03-03T08:23

By Rebecca
at 2023-03-05T07:33
at 2023-03-05T07:33

By Necoo
at 2023-03-08T02:56
at 2023-03-08T02:56

By Yuri
at 2023-03-11T13:22
at 2023-03-11T13:22

By Irma
at 2023-03-11T18:21
at 2023-03-11T18:21

By Todd Johnson
at 2023-03-11T22:21
at 2023-03-11T22:21

By Emily
at 2023-03-13T02:18
at 2023-03-13T02:18

By Zenobia
at 2023-03-17T20:38
at 2023-03-17T20:38

By Sarah
at 2023-03-21T21:57
at 2023-03-21T21:57

By Megan
at 2023-03-24T00:46
at 2023-03-24T00:46

By Jacky
at 2023-03-26T21:22
at 2023-03-26T21:22

By Rae
at 2023-03-27T07:09
at 2023-03-27T07:09

By Jake
at 2023-03-31T18:07
at 2023-03-31T18:07

By Zora
at 2023-04-02T11:36
at 2023-04-02T11:36

By Ingrid
at 2023-04-03T03:24
at 2023-04-03T03:24

By Ingrid
at 2023-04-06T19:05
at 2023-04-06T19:05

By Zora
at 2023-04-10T21:42
at 2023-04-10T21:42

By Anthony
at 2023-04-14T12:50
at 2023-04-14T12:50

By Franklin
at 2023-04-17T17:37
at 2023-04-17T17:37

By Candice
at 2023-04-21T16:39
at 2023-04-21T16:39

By Carol
at 2023-04-26T02:18
at 2023-04-26T02:18

By Frederica
at 2023-04-27T14:05
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By Regina
at 2023-04-30T10:33
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By Frederica
at 2023-05-03T01:01
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By Emily
at 2023-05-07T14:50
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By Cara
at 2023-05-11T11:23
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at 2023-05-12T14:34
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at 2023-05-19T10:47
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By Lily
at 2023-05-22T08:12
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By Sandy
at 2023-05-23T06:03
at 2023-05-23T06:03

By Thomas
at 2023-05-24T16:21
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By Aaliyah
at 2023-05-25T10:44
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By Skylar Davis
at 2023-05-27T23:46
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By Victoria
at 2023-05-31T07:00
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By Damian
at 2023-06-02T12:02
at 2023-06-02T12:02

By Caroline
at 2023-06-05T23:16
at 2023-06-05T23:16

By Kristin
at 2023-06-06T04:04
at 2023-06-06T04:04

By Gary
at 2023-06-06T16:30
at 2023-06-06T16:30

By Madame
at 2023-06-11T15:16
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By Sierra Rose
at 2023-06-14T14:04
at 2023-06-14T14:04

By Odelette
at 2023-06-18T19:02
at 2023-06-18T19:02

By Tracy
at 2023-06-21T10:01
at 2023-06-21T10:01

By James
at 2023-06-25T04:16
at 2023-06-25T04:16

By Edwina
at 2023-06-28T17:21
at 2023-06-28T17:21

By Regina
at 2023-07-01T16:55
at 2023-07-01T16:55

By Isabella
at 2023-07-04T18:36
at 2023-07-04T18:36

By Isla
at 2023-07-09T06:18
at 2023-07-09T06:18

By Regina
at 2023-07-11T02:50
at 2023-07-11T02:50

By Frederic
at 2023-07-11T18:13
at 2023-07-11T18:13

By Ula
at 2023-07-13T23:01
at 2023-07-13T23:01

By Hardy
at 2023-07-17T09:33
at 2023-07-17T09:33

By Heather
at 2023-07-19T17:15
at 2023-07-19T17:15

By Puput
at 2023-07-24T01:58
at 2023-07-24T01:58

By Joseph
at 2023-07-27T13:00
at 2023-07-27T13:00

By Thomas
at 2023-07-28T00:59
at 2023-07-28T00:59

By Odelette
at 2023-08-01T06:28
at 2023-08-01T06:28

By Agnes
at 2023-08-04T07:25
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By Ursula
at 2023-08-08T14:24
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By Elizabeth
at 2023-08-13T09:54
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By Dorothy
at 2023-08-15T02:57
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By Daniel
at 2023-08-19T13:36
at 2023-08-19T13:36

By Leila
at 2023-08-20T21:52
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By Olive
at 2023-08-24T13:47
at 2023-08-24T13:47

By Ingrid
at 2023-08-24T16:48
at 2023-08-24T16:48

By Irma
at 2023-08-25T01:17
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By Olivia
at 2023-08-27T16:26
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By Megan
at 2023-08-30T05:23
at 2023-08-30T05:23

By Zora
at 2023-09-04T02:12
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By Elizabeth
at 2023-09-09T01:28
at 2023-09-09T01:28

By Una
at 2023-09-09T20:08
at 2023-09-09T20:08

By Aaliyah
at 2023-09-13T14:30
at 2023-09-13T14:30

By Thomas
at 2023-09-18T11:59
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at 2023-09-21T18:09
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