對婆家來說好像是不好相處的人? - 婚姻

By Vanessa
at 2021-02-17T16:16
at 2021-02-17T16:16
Table of Contents
是否同意記者抄文:NO
我不是一個會主動看先生手機的人,但在前幾天先生請我幫他看手機訊息的時候,我無意
間看到他弟跟他的對話內容,大意大概是弟弟抱怨今年過年的氣氛很差,而主因好像是因
為我?!
今年的除夕是在先生的外公家圍爐,除了公婆一家還有舅舅一家,雖然已經結婚快三年,
我還是跟他們很不熟,也覺得很不自在,但他們問話我一定會回,也會不時的點頭微笑附
和,然而先生的弟弟說他覺得大嫂很疏遠、很像陌生人,甚至因為我的存在而使大家有所
顧忌……但我說真的我不在意是否有一家人的感覺,我覺得我對婆家就是給予尊重並盡義
務,再者我本身就是個內向寡言,甚至有點社交障礙的人,即使是在朋友或同事圈中,我
也不是會主動發言或攀談的人,更何況是面對一大家子不熟的親戚,到底要怎麼做才合格
?
另外婆婆很喜歡一家人一起出遊,很堅持一定要在大年初一一起出門,這點我很不能理解
,因為我的原生家庭不會這樣強迫人,但對於婆家我還是都會參與也不會擺臉色,然而今
年我因為懷孕初期的關係,比較容易疲倦嗜睡,被婆婆誤以為人不舒服,所以出遊地點一
路從A改成B、C、D,最後去E,這中間我完全沒有表示意見也沒有說不去,但一家人這樣
反反覆覆到最後好像都不太開心?!最後說都是我的關係我真的覺得很莫名。
最後先生的弟弟給出一個結論,就是我們太少回婆家,以至於我跟婆家的關係疏遠。我們
不常回去是事實,但只要逢年過節、重大節日或是有連假都一定會回去,生日、節日加一
加,其實也是一、兩個月就會回去一次;我覺得沒必要跟婆家太親密也是事實,我覺得婆
家就是婆家,不是我從小熟悉的親人,也不是有共同話題的朋友,為什麼硬要把大家湊在
一起再來嫌尷尬?
我有跟先生聊過這件事,先生叫我不要太在意,也說他再想想,但我不知道他是要想什麼
……與其說想問與婆家的相處之道,我更想知道自己的觀念和做法是否真的有錯?還是說
結婚之後就是必須免強自己去迎合對方一家?
--
我不是一個會主動看先生手機的人,但在前幾天先生請我幫他看手機訊息的時候,我無意
間看到他弟跟他的對話內容,大意大概是弟弟抱怨今年過年的氣氛很差,而主因好像是因
為我?!
今年的除夕是在先生的外公家圍爐,除了公婆一家還有舅舅一家,雖然已經結婚快三年,
我還是跟他們很不熟,也覺得很不自在,但他們問話我一定會回,也會不時的點頭微笑附
和,然而先生的弟弟說他覺得大嫂很疏遠、很像陌生人,甚至因為我的存在而使大家有所
顧忌……但我說真的我不在意是否有一家人的感覺,我覺得我對婆家就是給予尊重並盡義
務,再者我本身就是個內向寡言,甚至有點社交障礙的人,即使是在朋友或同事圈中,我
也不是會主動發言或攀談的人,更何況是面對一大家子不熟的親戚,到底要怎麼做才合格
?
另外婆婆很喜歡一家人一起出遊,很堅持一定要在大年初一一起出門,這點我很不能理解
,因為我的原生家庭不會這樣強迫人,但對於婆家我還是都會參與也不會擺臉色,然而今
年我因為懷孕初期的關係,比較容易疲倦嗜睡,被婆婆誤以為人不舒服,所以出遊地點一
路從A改成B、C、D,最後去E,這中間我完全沒有表示意見也沒有說不去,但一家人這樣
反反覆覆到最後好像都不太開心?!最後說都是我的關係我真的覺得很莫名。
最後先生的弟弟給出一個結論,就是我們太少回婆家,以至於我跟婆家的關係疏遠。我們
不常回去是事實,但只要逢年過節、重大節日或是有連假都一定會回去,生日、節日加一
加,其實也是一、兩個月就會回去一次;我覺得沒必要跟婆家太親密也是事實,我覺得婆
家就是婆家,不是我從小熟悉的親人,也不是有共同話題的朋友,為什麼硬要把大家湊在
一起再來嫌尷尬?
我有跟先生聊過這件事,先生叫我不要太在意,也說他再想想,但我不知道他是要想什麼
……與其說想問與婆家的相處之道,我更想知道自己的觀念和做法是否真的有錯?還是說
結婚之後就是必須免強自己去迎合對方一家?
--
Tags:
婚姻
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