家務重點不在分配,在補位 - 婚姻
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By David
at 2022-07-28T12:20
at 2022-07-28T12:20
Table of Contents
《假設你是右撇子》
雖然慣用手是右手,但當右手沒力時,左手會說那是右手的責任,或是選擇補位呢?
《重點從來不在分配,而在補位》
個人經營自己是生活、兩個人經營,則是家庭。
單身時樣樣精通,因為你我必須打理好自己;同理,兩人互相支援,是為了你我這個「團體」。
《獨自面對幼獸殊不易》
寶寶出生期恰好是我職涯思索期,於是我加入太太近8個月的育兒作戰,兩個人無後援,戰況激烈可以想像。
如果我沒有這段經歷,我可能也會覺得怎麼會比工作有挑戰,根本so easy。
但,工作可以有休息時間,育兒沒有;寶寶不會翻身時,你需要注意她是否被棉被蓋住、寶寶會翻身時,你需要注意她是否把自己塞在棉被而窒息、寶寶開始會抓東西時,更要注意是否會玩電線勒死自己...要注意的事項不及備載;至少這8個月24小時的團體戰,我是時刻精神緊繃的(噢,還沒寫到寶寶不定時無由哭泣還無法安撫QAQ)
太太能夠一打一並完美完成家務,是我欽佩的,因為我自己面對寶寶幾乎是癱軟狀態(苦笑)
《有得必有捨》
得是說「多」,而不一定是心理認為的「獲得」。
每天24小時,扣除必要吃睡與工作,我們能再分配的時間,大概就是3-5小時,家庭多了一份子,代表「我」必須重新分配時間。
從有寶寶後,個人幾乎沒有娛樂,因為我就是寶寶的娛樂,也為了她的視力,電視也幾乎是裝飾品。
但是,「我們」這個兩人團隊,既然做了「得」這個選擇,就要理解必定需要「捨」,因為時間/空間/能量就是有限。
除非你有妙麗的時間沙漏。
《回到原點》
家務,愚見不認為是分配可以解決,因為重點是「補位」。
最後一句話是:你喜歡如何被對待,請用那種方式對待你愛的人。
--
Tags:
婚姻
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