媽媽不願回鄉下與大家庭住 - 家庭
By Zora
at 2011-12-07T22:21
at 2011-12-07T22:21
Table of Contents
今年二月,我爸突然閃電退休,完全沒跟家人預告,已經退了我們才知道,
很扯的是,連閃光都比我先知道 (閃光爸爸和我三叔都在中鋼工作,我三叔很雞婆,
跑去跟閃光爸講)
接著就一直有跡象顯示我爸有意圖想房子賣掉,我家住高雄市漢神巨蛋那帶,
雖然是20年老公寓,但不會很破舊,房價仍在增值,聽聞這件事的人,
沒有一個人贊同賣掉的!!
而我爸似乎是想在鄉下買田地,或許是錢不夠? 所以想賣房子? 退休後想歸隱田園
這我們管不著,但不覺得他有這麼缺錢?? (領18%的退休公務員...)
重點是,那公寓我媽和我大弟都住那,外婆也住我家,外婆70多歲有老人癡呆症,
我媽是家庭主婦,可以全天候照顧她
我爸老家在高雄的鄉下,我奶奶、大伯一家、三叔一家、小叔一家 (奶奶生四個兒子
我爸排第二) 都住那,是大家庭,每個兄弟都各自有一棟透天 (四棟排一起),
我爸自成家以來都住高雄市,他那棟是大約10年前蓋好要給他的
從今年年初到年中,我爸就一直默默地把家裡的東西載回去 (其實鄉下透天
沒有缺傢俱家電),搬到家裡都快空了,整個客廳空蕩蕩的,電視也搬走
(搞得我只好再買一台電視給我媽),連我媽煮飯會用到的炊具、果汁機、烤箱電磁爐,
都搬走了....
每次都默默的搬,沒人知道他在想啥,但是他一定心理是早就計畫好的....
帳單地址都改了,電話與網路也都移回鄉下了...只留下一支掛在我媽名下的市話
沒遷走 (錢當然是我媽繳)
家裡東西搬的差不多後,我爸就都住在鄉下,沒有回來住了,甚至偶爾有回來
也不會上樓,碰到我媽還把她當空氣...鄉下的透天,我爸年初有問家裡三個小孩
要選哪個房間,他也都把房間整理好,等我們去住 (我和小弟都在北部),
但就是沒有問到我媽任何意見 (我爸媽本來就分房睡) ,基本上我爸就是要
全家人搬回去,可是完全沒跟大家討論過,事實上我家也沒有半個人想搬回去
(實在是一點好處都沒有啊...)
我媽更是堅決反對,她從來就沒有與公婆同住過,婆媳關係也還好而已,年輕的時候,
我媽上班賺的錢,拿回家贊助弟妹念書,還被奶奶說 "幹嘛拿錢給別人用" (我媽記很久)
我媽深深覺得回去後就沒有自由了,會整天關在那透天裡,被用放大鏡檢視是否有
好好服侍婆婆,還沒搬回去親戚就一直酸說他沒照顧到長輩,何況是搬回去???
最討厭的是要面對一群很愛管閒事的碎嘴親戚,他們有事沒事就會跑來我爸的透天裡
(門戶洞開毫無隱私可言),媽媽的朋友都在高雄,平常她想找誰就找誰,想打給誰
就打給誰,小孩大了,家庭主婦總需要一些精神寄託,到處找人閒聊也是合情合理的,
況且她還要照顧外婆 (總不能叫外婆去跟奶奶一起住 @@),怎麼可能搬回鄉下?
最糟的是,我爸搬回鄉下住後,就再也沒有給過我媽生活費了,我大弟兩邊都會住,
有回去時,幫我媽要買菜錢也要不到,要不到錢想帶一些菜回來也被禁止
(奶奶務農,以前我爸都會帶菜回來高雄)
甚至我大弟在鄉下吃我媽準備給他的點心、我媽幫他切好的水果,也都會被親戚狂酸
與禁止,我弟週一到週五住在高雄公寓住的開銷,我爸一概不認帳,每週騎車的油錢
少說也要一兩百以上,每次跟我爸拿,我爸不是不給就是只給個50元....
(小弟在北部念書,我爸還是有給他生活費及學費)
我媽就只能省吃儉用,舅舅們會定期給她錢照顧外婆,一部分讓她當生活費,連姨丈都
慷慨解囊幫忙,這些他們不可能不知道的,只是我爸那邊親戚卻一天到晚講我媽壞話
,而且會故意在我大弟面前說,我大弟很憨厚,不太會去辯駁、回嘴
(以我爸那邊那麼傳統,回嘴可能會被揍....)
題外話:以前大弟國中時,在高雄市的學校常被欺負,後來就轉到鄉下小叔任教的國中
就讀,想說有親戚罩,結果還是遇到壞同學,有一次只是因為我弟不敢去跟壞同學的
父母溝通,就被小叔打到屁股都瘀青,不敢跟我媽講,回高雄的時候被我媽發現,
一問之下才知道,我媽又氣又心疼...小叔自己的小孩根本寵壞了,才不敢這樣打...
所以,跟那些親戚的樑子不是一天兩天結下的,我媽不爽他們,我也不爽他們老愛
多管閒事!! (三不五時就跑去找我閃光的爸爸打小報告是在衝殺小!!)
小嬸嬸每次遇到大弟,都會跟他說:"這裡才是你家"
大弟:"這邊 和高雄都是我家..." 小嬸嬸就會回:"高雄不是你家,這裡才是!"
__你__的無限跳針是怎樣!!!!
他們不但把我媽講的大逆不道,小嬸嬸甚至還當我大弟面前說:"妳媽媽不乖"
我媽得知的時候都快氣炸了,覺得小嬸嬸什麼輩分? 憑什麼這樣說!!
(基本上我認為他在一個孩子面前批評他母親過分斃了)
我媽無奈說道:
"我哪裡不乖? 我又沒有揮霍敗家、不守婦道,還幫他養兒子..如果奶奶有來高雄,
我一樣可以像外婆那樣照顧她..."
下個月就要過年了,我媽一直跟我說她過年不想回鄉下去,人沒在那邊都被講的很難聽了
(講到我媽都懷疑我爸是不是天天聽親戚碎嘴被洗腦了),回去想必是要面對不少冷嘲熱諷
她一定會受不了跟對方撕破臉...
人都在北部很少回南部的我,之前回家看到家裡變得空蕩蕩的,真的好感慨,
覺得我自小到大生長的家就這樣不見了,家已經不是家了...QQ
爸媽結婚20幾年,現在卻像陌生人,真的非常非常感慨..
我想外婆雖然老人癡呆症,目睹這樣的景象,也會非常心疼自己的女兒吧...
以前不懂 "家家有本難念的經",現在懂了......
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