婚姻關係是個人關係的延續 - 婚姻
By Susan
at 2020-11-24T00:37
at 2020-11-24T00:37
Table of Contents
是否同意記者抄文:NO
看了版上好多的困擾,再回想自己的狀況,
深刻體會到:婚姻關係是個人關係(自己對自己)的延續。
在這個世界上,只有自己有義務妥善照顧自己的身心狀態,
只有自己有義務好好地、不求理由地愛自己;
即使是父母,也不是全部都能全心全意地愛子女。
幾年前,因為工作的關係,週工時看上百小時,壓力又很大,
讓我呈現身體疲勞好像永遠無法充電回80%以上,內在情緒不穩定的狀態。
那個時候真的好可怕…
芝麻蒜皮的小事都看不順眼,什麼都是問題:
老公工作太晚不順眼、在家打電動更不順眼
老公不做家事不順眼、做家事沒照我的方式做更不順眼
老公帶回來的食物要嘛太多,要嘛太油,反正通通都不順眼
每天只想著:睡著閉上眼,然後就再也不要醒來多好…
幸好我少數的優點就是講話不太難聽,
起碼講出口前我會選比較不傷人的那句XD
好不容易換了新工作,工時砍半,
我終於可以每天睡8小時,可以每天運動,我開始喜歡自己XD
當我自己開始滿足自己的需求,開始喜歡自己以後,
耶~~看老公就開始變順眼了說XD
不再把他的行為毫無根據的擴大解讀:
工作太晚是因為工作很多 -> 不是因為不想和我相處,我不夠好
打電動是他需要娛樂 -> 不是因為我太無聊,我不夠好
帶回來的食物是因為很好吃,要和我分享 -> 不是不在乎我有控制飲食的需求
我只是把對自己的不滿丟到他身上,
只是因為我不喜歡自己,而希望他能代替我喜歡自己。
這是不可能辦到的…
沒有人可以取代自己來喜歡自己,最終只會產生的失望而己。
不要把喜歡自己、照顧自己的責任丟給配偶,
然後又把照顧配偶身心的責任扛在身上,
這樣只會讓彼此的關係越來越糾結,越來越難解。
希望大家都能喜歡自己,好好照顧自己的身心~
(啊,好突兀的結尾XD)
--
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