因結婚事宜而分手... - 感情
By Donna
at 2011-10-22T00:00
at 2011-10-22T00:00
Table of Contents
交往快七年了,上個月確定要結婚,十月初來提親,沒想到男友母親堅持要用乩童選的日子來決定結訂婚的日子.我們照習俗把男方送來的日子拿給外面合婚的老師再合看看,人家一攤開看到是廟裡選的日子就把我們趕出去了,連2家都不幫我們合婚,那些老師的意思是神明最大,若神明都挑好了,他們沒法再作合婚的工作.當時除了我媽不高興外,我也很火大,因為我事先就告訴男友且到他父母家去解釋當時我妹的公公如何安排結訂婚的事宜,他們是挑好幾組好日子再讓女方去合婚,不能只拿一組乩童選的日子就好.男友他媽當時也沒正面回答我,我想說男友的弟弟妹妹都已結婚了,他爸媽應該很會處理.當我們被2個合婚老師拒絕後,我馬上打電話告訴男友及媒人,除了沒法合婚外,我們家自己有請朋友先看過農曆十月和十一月並不適合我的生肖(蛇),還有男方家拿來的結訂婚日子是3個禮拜後未免也太趕,婚紗要哪一家都還沒確定也還沒拍,餐廳喜餅等都還沒找到呢.結果男友母親就一直在電話中說,是因為女方家不相信帝爺公所以無法接受這組日子,就算那組日子在黃曆上是不適合結訂婚的日子,神明會幫忙排除萬難.我馬上回說我鄉下爺爺家以前就是開一間小廟的主神就是帝爺公,男友有陪我回爺爺家看過!他媽說不管了,男友就下班後自已去找算命的老師重新排適合結訂婚的日子,剛好挑在農曆十二月中或底,我們想說這樣至少有時間拍婚紗找餐廳等等,但他媽卻冷不防的說十二月(明年一月)她找不到餐廳,還有原本在提親時說要讓我們搬出去住的小公寓也沒了,我媽當時還說若搬出去住所有的傢俱她都買單當作是我的嫁妝.我想到他媽如此不講理,傳簡訊給男友說當時他妹嫁人時,我去幫忙,她訂婚請了30多桌,喜餅是日本高帽子要在百貨公司專櫃裡才訂的到.今天我要結訂婚我也是人家的女兒,婚紗和喜餅男友要我一直去殺價都拿最低的價格和組數,我都替他想了.今天他媽十一月結婚就找的到餐廳,十二月的話就找不到,擺明就是要依她先前乩童選的日子.如果堅持要那麼趕,不替我著想的話就不要結算了.還有先前我媽說什麼聘金和餅錢都不收的話,我覺得是隨便說說,到時在拜公媽時男方真的沒準備會讓我在親友面前被笑死(男方家是真的很小氣).沒想到男友把這些話全部轉告給他媽,她媽很火大,男友也堅持要儘快結婚不然就分手!我告訴他發生那麼事沒收尾還要結嗎?而且他媽十二月不同意,我是十月和十一不利結訂婚啊.然後到現在已一個禮拜都沒和我聯絡已呈分手狀態.先前我告訴男友若要公証或走基督教婚禮(他是已受洗的基督徒)我都可以配合,但他說他父母一定不接受.我媽和我妹也要我不和男友聯絡,免得男方家以為是我一直要嫁他們的.為什麼會變的如此複雜?我該怎麼辦?我想到男友都快40了還不會主動幫忙替我講話和解決結婚的事,我也很心寒...
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