因為性大吵 - 婚姻
By Susan
at 2020-11-06T12:45
at 2020-11-06T12:45
Table of Contents
原文恕刪,手機排版請見諒
身為一個心理從業人員,想跟原原po說
你現在這些不舒服、害怕的感覺的是很正常的
不管愛不愛、雙方是什麼關係
只要「當下」有一方是不願意的
都算是性侵
不管他是你的誰
被性侵都是一件非常創傷的事
即使只有五分鐘
都會讓人徹底失去對身體的掌控感
產生焦慮、恐懼等情緒
嚴重一點甚至會有創傷後壓力症候群
看原原po的文字敘述,能感受到很大的情緒
不想看到他、害怕溝通也是正常的
建議維持固定的諮商,先釐清自己的混亂
才能繼續思考下一步
關於婚姻諮商我也想澄清
婚姻諮商並不是勸和不勸離
而是提供一個機會讓兩人能好好溝通
釐清雙方的想法和需求
再自己決定要合還是要離
(專業的諮商師是不會隨便給建議的)
那跟一般在家溝通有什麼差別呢?
當你們又掉入雙方習慣的無效溝通時(逃避、指責、打岔等等)
有專業人士幫你們拉回重點
關於離不離婚,考慮因素肯定是很複雜的
但我建議,不要「因為小孩」而不離婚
就算你們努力不要影響到孩子
但相信我,孩子的觀察力比我們想像中敏銳
我們有一些個案,父母吵架時都會刻意避開他
但其實他們都清楚怎麼了
有些人在自己房間就開始焦慮甚至自傷
父母的互動模式
很大程度會影響孩子未來的親密關係模式
有些家暴受害者長大後變成家暴加害者或容易找家暴者來當自己伴侶
有些從小看著母親隱忍的孩子長大後在關係裡委屈求全
你可以回想看看,自己的父母是怎麼互動的呢?
你有沒有也不知不覺複製了一些呢?
你希望小孩學到的「親密關係」是什麼樣子呢?
有時情緒狀態穩定的單親家庭,孩子的心理健康狀況是比不合的「完整家庭」還要好的
祝福你,能夠度過這一切的混亂,找到你真正想要的生活
--
身為一個心理從業人員,想跟原原po說
你現在這些不舒服、害怕的感覺的是很正常的
不管愛不愛、雙方是什麼關係
只要「當下」有一方是不願意的
都算是性侵
不管他是你的誰
被性侵都是一件非常創傷的事
即使只有五分鐘
都會讓人徹底失去對身體的掌控感
產生焦慮、恐懼等情緒
嚴重一點甚至會有創傷後壓力症候群
看原原po的文字敘述,能感受到很大的情緒
不想看到他、害怕溝通也是正常的
建議維持固定的諮商,先釐清自己的混亂
才能繼續思考下一步
關於婚姻諮商我也想澄清
婚姻諮商並不是勸和不勸離
而是提供一個機會讓兩人能好好溝通
釐清雙方的想法和需求
再自己決定要合還是要離
(專業的諮商師是不會隨便給建議的)
那跟一般在家溝通有什麼差別呢?
當你們又掉入雙方習慣的無效溝通時(逃避、指責、打岔等等)
有專業人士幫你們拉回重點
關於離不離婚,考慮因素肯定是很複雜的
但我建議,不要「因為小孩」而不離婚
就算你們努力不要影響到孩子
但相信我,孩子的觀察力比我們想像中敏銳
我們有一些個案,父母吵架時都會刻意避開他
但其實他們都清楚怎麼了
有些人在自己房間就開始焦慮甚至自傷
父母的互動模式
很大程度會影響孩子未來的親密關係模式
有些家暴受害者長大後變成家暴加害者或容易找家暴者來當自己伴侶
有些從小看著母親隱忍的孩子長大後在關係裡委屈求全
你可以回想看看,自己的父母是怎麼互動的呢?
你有沒有也不知不覺複製了一些呢?
你希望小孩學到的「親密關係」是什麼樣子呢?
有時情緒狀態穩定的單親家庭,孩子的心理健康狀況是比不合的「完整家庭」還要好的
祝福你,能夠度過這一切的混亂,找到你真正想要的生活
--
Tags:
婚姻
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