因為家事而爭吵 - 婚姻

By Mia
at 2021-11-22T04:26
at 2021-11-22T04:26
Table of Contents
是否同意記者抄文:NO
輾轉難眠,想上來求助一下其他人的人生經驗。
老實說,這次的引爆點就只是一件小事。雖然有很多累積的其他事,但好像很難一一講清
楚,所以就先說今天的事情吧。
禮拜日老公約了朋友吃午餐,我也會出席。我8點一起床就把自己的床單丟下去洗衣機,
然後趕著在出門前忙完加班的工作,因為下午吃完飯還得跟他去婆家,應該沒空工作。
9:30時我工作還沒做完,但我的床單洗好了,只好麻煩剛起床沒多久,正在滑手機的老
公幫我晾床單。他幫我晾了,但面色不爽。我看到他的臉色後,心中也起了一股火氣。
在10點用好要一起出門時,他似乎心情已經沒事了,笑嘻嘻地問我為什麼臭臉。我不悅地
跟他說,我只是麻煩他晾一下床單,他有必要這麼不爽嗎?
接著後續就變成爭吵了。
他:“我假日想好好休息,為什麼你要在那邊指使我做事情?我又不是你的奴隸。”
我:“我只是麻煩你幫忙,沒有指使你,為什麼我請你幫忙一件事情,你會覺得我把你當
奴隸?晾床單不到五分鐘就結束了,這樣也算打擾你假日嗎?有的家事就只能假日做啊,
平日晚上我能有空用床單嗎?”
他:“你的床單(我們分房睡)為什麼要我幫你晾?自己的東西自己不該自己用嗎?我有
叫你幫我用我的什麼事情嗎?”
我:“同一個家庭的家事有什麼好分你我的嗎?還有,我基本上都是因為沒空才麻煩你的
,難道我是自己在那邊悠閒滑手機,然後指使你去做家事嗎?”
他:“反正你就是過太爽啦,你常常假日去美容院,出門前還不是叫我去晾衣服吸地板什
麼的。反正我事情做好了不是嗎?我態度怎樣很重要嗎?你就當沒看到就好了阿!”
我:“我平日也有做家事不是嗎?而且夫妻之間不就是要互相幫忙嗎?到底有什麼好計較
跟不爽的?”
他:“誰說兩個人在一起一定要互相幫忙啊?我有叫你幫我什麼忙嗎?”
我:“所以我每天幫你準備早餐午餐晚餐,我洗碗打掃,你是不是都要說:我沒叫你幫忙
我做這些啊!你自己要做的!”
他:“你說的家事我也有做啊!而且事實就是你很常叫我幫你做這做那的。”
到這裡我已經不知道要怎麼跟他講下去。我想表達的一直都是我覺得根本沒必要去計較誰
做多做少,或誰做了什麼。只是單純希望在其中一個人開口請求幫忙時,對方能很樂意的
給予協助。不要不情願、不要有“為什麼你的事情要我來做”這種想法。
但我表達出我的期待時,卻被罵回來,理由是 “我可沒叫你幫我什麼,都是我幫你比較
多,所以你哪來的資格叫我不要不情願。而且我後來還是有幫你做阿,態度很重要嗎?”
我自認做了很多的家事,煮早餐晚餐,洗碗,洗菜切水果,吸地拖地,打掃整個浴室,洗
衣服晾衣服,打掃廚房流理台抽油煙機,等等。這些全都不是他拜託我的,都是我自己覺
得該做,所以我主動做的。
不可否認他也有做部分的家事,且的確我比較常開口請他幫忙做家事,因為我比較希望家
中乾淨,所以會主動分發一些事情請他做。
我因為外出服款式比他多,所以他經常抱怨根本都主要在洗我的衣服。我幾乎每晚自己手
洗內衣褲,因為自己經常洗好澡後懶的去陽台,所以常麻煩他去陽台幫我晾內衣褲。我有
輕微潔癖所以寢具洗的比較頻繁,他自己則換季時才換寢具。我臥室地上比較多落髮,需
要一個禮拜至少吸地一次,他因為短髮所以臥室比較乾淨。上述他都覺得是“我在因為自
己的事情麻煩他。”
我覺得很委屈。首先我不懂為什麼他要不爽,因為我覺得根本沒必要分這麼細。再來,就
算真的是不公平吧,我覺得我在其他地方的家事付出應該足以彌補這些他認為的“不公平
”。硬要說的話,我也做了很多跟我無關的家事阿,只是到底有什麼好分的?講起來我自
己都覺得很荒謬。
雖然難以溝通跟理解彼此的想法/價值觀,是不是我只要裝聾
作啞就海闊天空了?心情放寬點,繼續其他幫忙沒關係,反正無視老公的抱怨,其實就相
安無事。
或是,從此以後就各顧各的,不去麻煩拜託對方做任何事。衣服各洗各的,房間各掃各的
,飯各煮各的。但這光用想的就可悲到讓人想笑,好像還不如離婚算了。
希望大家能開導一下我,謝謝。
--
輾轉難眠,想上來求助一下其他人的人生經驗。
老實說,這次的引爆點就只是一件小事。雖然有很多累積的其他事,但好像很難一一講清
楚,所以就先說今天的事情吧。
禮拜日老公約了朋友吃午餐,我也會出席。我8點一起床就把自己的床單丟下去洗衣機,
然後趕著在出門前忙完加班的工作,因為下午吃完飯還得跟他去婆家,應該沒空工作。
9:30時我工作還沒做完,但我的床單洗好了,只好麻煩剛起床沒多久,正在滑手機的老
公幫我晾床單。他幫我晾了,但面色不爽。我看到他的臉色後,心中也起了一股火氣。
在10點用好要一起出門時,他似乎心情已經沒事了,笑嘻嘻地問我為什麼臭臉。我不悅地
跟他說,我只是麻煩他晾一下床單,他有必要這麼不爽嗎?
接著後續就變成爭吵了。
他:“我假日想好好休息,為什麼你要在那邊指使我做事情?我又不是你的奴隸。”
我:“我只是麻煩你幫忙,沒有指使你,為什麼我請你幫忙一件事情,你會覺得我把你當
奴隸?晾床單不到五分鐘就結束了,這樣也算打擾你假日嗎?有的家事就只能假日做啊,
平日晚上我能有空用床單嗎?”
他:“你的床單(我們分房睡)為什麼要我幫你晾?自己的東西自己不該自己用嗎?我有
叫你幫我用我的什麼事情嗎?”
我:“同一個家庭的家事有什麼好分你我的嗎?還有,我基本上都是因為沒空才麻煩你的
,難道我是自己在那邊悠閒滑手機,然後指使你去做家事嗎?”
他:“反正你就是過太爽啦,你常常假日去美容院,出門前還不是叫我去晾衣服吸地板什
麼的。反正我事情做好了不是嗎?我態度怎樣很重要嗎?你就當沒看到就好了阿!”
我:“我平日也有做家事不是嗎?而且夫妻之間不就是要互相幫忙嗎?到底有什麼好計較
跟不爽的?”
他:“誰說兩個人在一起一定要互相幫忙啊?我有叫你幫我什麼忙嗎?”
我:“所以我每天幫你準備早餐午餐晚餐,我洗碗打掃,你是不是都要說:我沒叫你幫忙
我做這些啊!你自己要做的!”
他:“你說的家事我也有做啊!而且事實就是你很常叫我幫你做這做那的。”
到這裡我已經不知道要怎麼跟他講下去。我想表達的一直都是我覺得根本沒必要去計較誰
做多做少,或誰做了什麼。只是單純希望在其中一個人開口請求幫忙時,對方能很樂意的
給予協助。不要不情願、不要有“為什麼你的事情要我來做”這種想法。
但我表達出我的期待時,卻被罵回來,理由是 “我可沒叫你幫我什麼,都是我幫你比較
多,所以你哪來的資格叫我不要不情願。而且我後來還是有幫你做阿,態度很重要嗎?”
我自認做了很多的家事,煮早餐晚餐,洗碗,洗菜切水果,吸地拖地,打掃整個浴室,洗
衣服晾衣服,打掃廚房流理台抽油煙機,等等。這些全都不是他拜託我的,都是我自己覺
得該做,所以我主動做的。
不可否認他也有做部分的家事,且的確我比較常開口請他幫忙做家事,因為我比較希望家
中乾淨,所以會主動分發一些事情請他做。
我因為外出服款式比他多,所以他經常抱怨根本都主要在洗我的衣服。我幾乎每晚自己手
洗內衣褲,因為自己經常洗好澡後懶的去陽台,所以常麻煩他去陽台幫我晾內衣褲。我有
輕微潔癖所以寢具洗的比較頻繁,他自己則換季時才換寢具。我臥室地上比較多落髮,需
要一個禮拜至少吸地一次,他因為短髮所以臥室比較乾淨。上述他都覺得是“我在因為自
己的事情麻煩他。”
我覺得很委屈。首先我不懂為什麼他要不爽,因為我覺得根本沒必要分這麼細。再來,就
算真的是不公平吧,我覺得我在其他地方的家事付出應該足以彌補這些他認為的“不公平
”。硬要說的話,我也做了很多跟我無關的家事阿,只是到底有什麼好分的?講起來我自
己都覺得很荒謬。
雖然難以溝通跟理解彼此的想法/價值觀,是不是我只要裝聾
作啞就海闊天空了?心情放寬點,繼續其他幫忙沒關係,反正無視老公的抱怨,其實就相
安無事。
或是,從此以後就各顧各的,不去麻煩拜託對方做任何事。衣服各洗各的,房間各掃各的
,飯各煮各的。但這光用想的就可悲到讓人想笑,好像還不如離婚算了。
希望大家能開導一下我,謝謝。
--
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婚姻
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