回公婆家就會不自覺憂鬱 - 婚姻
By Agatha
at 2020-10-04T03:29
at 2020-10-04T03:29
Table of Contents
是否同意記者抄文:NO
每次回公婆家就會莫名的憂鬱,非常需要版上的各位開導
育有1歲的小孩 大概每三周回公婆家一次 特殊節日都是優先回婆家無法回娘家
老公有2個姊姊,也算獨子,離家背景在外縣市工作
結婚前就會隔周回家陪爸媽,跟爸媽一起出去玩
結婚前我跟爸媽每天都住在一起,一年大概跟爸媽一出去玩2-3次吧
因為出去玩常常會吵架,長輩跟年輕人玩的不同,所以我爸媽有自己生活圈
喜歡跟朋友出去玩,或是他們倆自己出去
每個月跟一起嫁出去的姐姐一起回來大概3小時在家吃飯
這次中秋連假,老公原本已經計畫好要去A地玩,然後也訂好餐廳
前一天突然被告知要改去嘉義,要我9點要到公婆家
(通勤抓一個小時,等於我要8點到高鐵,本身就是個不愛早起的人
所以這個告知完全踩到我地雷)
後來因為小姑有兩個小孩還小不想去這麼遠的地方作罷
我當天到公婆家車站,原本是老公要來載我,突然又變全家(公婆、大姑小姑、女婿)
一起出門要去A地,又覺得沒事幹嘛改來改去的,經歷兩件事覺得有點不爽
(因為最近工作主管也改來改去的一連串的爆發)
第一天:10點出門 18點回家,緊密相處8小時
老公家的相處就是吃中餐+景點逛逛(打發時間那種逛,漫無目的一直走
沒人帶頭一直走要去哪也不知道,重點天氣很熱
會有人說然後呢?要去哪也是當下才決定)+吃晚餐
最後晚餐在老公全家一直猶豫不決
公公詢問大家每個人都說都可以"你決定"公公又不決定(明明他是在地人比較熟
然後問了一輪又問我,想說查一下要去吃市場在地美食小吃
公公又問大家說有小孩市場又擠又熱沒關係嗎,詢問大家每個人都說"都可以"
再驅車的路途上,公公說那是吃XX熱炒好了
心想你有答案為什麼還要問大家(我是找辛酸的嗎
第二天:10點出門,11點到台中的OUTLET,逛到下午3點,才開車去高鐵搭車北上
覺得很厲害怎麼可以在outlet逛這麼久,逛到每個人都腳酸
老公家的人又喜歡等來等去,你逛某家店其他人就在旁邊椅子坐下
然後有小孩要換尿布喝奶等,其他人還是坐在旁邊的椅子等
就是一個什麼事都要一起行動的家庭,來也沒想說要去某家店
帶著一個一歲小孩漫無目的的逛,南部白天天氣又熱
小孩可能又覺得熱有點番公婆看到小孩哭鬧就會想抱
但大家又不隨性或走或站或停或座
一群人在旁邊等地看小孩走路玩耍跟哭鬧
可能我比較計畫性,覺得出去要看某些點、吃某些美食或走道某的地方之類的
對於漫無目的亂走莫名覺得浪費時間,也覺得吃個飯一個人決定就好,到底是要討論多久
我告訴自己回公婆家就是要隨性不要管這些,聽公婆意見就好(每次提的意見都被打槍
公公滿固執的,其實在問大家之前心裡早有答案,就像大家說想去C餐廳
他還是一樣會去B餐廳,所以其實講什麼也沒用
但還是常常會很受不了老公家很隨興改來改去或是沒目的地的出遊閒晃
可能是我不習慣跟長輩相處,覺得無聊又無趣
所以這次連兩天跟公婆家相處再一起就覺得心很累,完全沒休息到
覺得緊密的相處有種窒息感,沒話聊又無力地在旁顧小孩
老公則是一回家就把小孩放手給公婆顧,一直划手機
對他來說回家是休息,公婆會分擔她的工作
兩天出遊,一開始公婆會陪玩,到後來出去久了累了,最後還是會黏媽媽
要陪小孩玩、哄睡、抱抱
有小孩時跟老公有共識要輪流吃飯
但公婆很傳統覺得吃飯要一起吃,所以當我沒吃飯去顧小孩時
公婆就會覺得很不好意思,一直要我先去吃飯(我知道這樣是很貼心想法
但就是我跟老公輪流吃飯顧小孩不就好了
讓你們不吃飯顧小孩我才壓力大好嗎
種種因素讓我覺得回公婆家很憂鬱,難道假日不能在家悠閒的休息跟小孩玩嗎
帶一歲小孩出去玩這麼長的時間,真的很累人,不只大人累,小孩沒休息也很累阿
莫名的憂鬱不開心,跟老公溝通過他也找不出解決方法,叫我要看開一點
非常需要版上的各位開導
--
Tags:
婚姻
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