可以接受多久帶小孩回去看爸媽? - 婚姻
By Caitlin
at 2022-10-25T09:19
at 2022-10-25T09:19
Table of Contents
一種是你太太就是無理由的拒絕,那這種除了離婚…可能可以諮商,但比較無解的情況。
一種是你父母口無遮攔,以長輩之姿覺得怎麼說都可以,那減少相處/居中協調/幫忙雙邊
圓滑與教育,是有機會越來越好的。
一種是你不管在哪種處境,都是呆站在那,讓雙方直接碰觸摩擦,沒有幫忙建立關係橋樑
,然後覺得自己不快樂,覺得自己明明很nice,自己爸媽明明很nice……這樣是不會有解
的,且令人絕望。如果配偶需要單一面對對方全家,那真的是孤立與絕望,不論性別為何
。
資訊不多,也只能略寫各種可能
沒什麼太好的建議,只能說關係都需要用心經營。都需要先放下彼此內心的成見,去說出
各自的期待,再討論如何一步步走向交集,非常有可能不是一次的討論就成,至少有開始
還有機會。
對父母那邊,除了難過你也可以說明與安撫,表達你們“現在”開始溝通,對,小孩都多
大了才開始,但怎樣都好過沒有開始。
至於那些說祖孫情,我覺得也沒有錯,但用這來溝通,其實沒什麼用,且也是另一角度的
情緒勒索而已,最終還是得回到兩人關係去解決。
新手父母前幾年都是很辛苦的,後援很近卻怎樣都不願意接觸,要說沒什麼原因,機率應
該不高,只是原因還需原po跟另一伴好好釐清。
也不用再糾結過去父母說的,或是配偶說的有沒有什麼意思,正常情況沒有人會直接承認
的,重點只在這些話令人不舒服,怎麼彌補怎麼避免再發生而已
--
一種是你父母口無遮攔,以長輩之姿覺得怎麼說都可以,那減少相處/居中協調/幫忙雙邊
圓滑與教育,是有機會越來越好的。
一種是你不管在哪種處境,都是呆站在那,讓雙方直接碰觸摩擦,沒有幫忙建立關係橋樑
,然後覺得自己不快樂,覺得自己明明很nice,自己爸媽明明很nice……這樣是不會有解
的,且令人絕望。如果配偶需要單一面對對方全家,那真的是孤立與絕望,不論性別為何
。
資訊不多,也只能略寫各種可能
沒什麼太好的建議,只能說關係都需要用心經營。都需要先放下彼此內心的成見,去說出
各自的期待,再討論如何一步步走向交集,非常有可能不是一次的討論就成,至少有開始
還有機會。
對父母那邊,除了難過你也可以說明與安撫,表達你們“現在”開始溝通,對,小孩都多
大了才開始,但怎樣都好過沒有開始。
至於那些說祖孫情,我覺得也沒有錯,但用這來溝通,其實沒什麼用,且也是另一角度的
情緒勒索而已,最終還是得回到兩人關係去解決。
新手父母前幾年都是很辛苦的,後援很近卻怎樣都不願意接觸,要說沒什麼原因,機率應
該不高,只是原因還需原po跟另一伴好好釐清。
也不用再糾結過去父母說的,或是配偶說的有沒有什麼意思,正常情況沒有人會直接承認
的,重點只在這些話令人不舒服,怎麼彌補怎麼避免再發生而已
--
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婚姻
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