另一半對我的親戚朋友很冷淡 - 婚姻

By Jacky
at 2021-04-04T10:23
at 2021-04-04T10:23
Table of Contents
看您這麼憤怒的回了這麼多
我只想問一句
您愛您的老婆嗎?
還是您對她的愛是有條件的,像有些父母會對小孩說:如果不怎麼樣,爸爸媽媽就不愛你
囉!的這種愛?
先不要急著否認或承認,可以想一想
您心中的情況是這樣嗎?
原Po:
負責家中所有金錢開銷
很愛小孩
您的老婆:
負責顧小孩
負責做家事
對於自己身材不夠負責(從您的舊文中推斷
這是從您提供的資訊感覺到的對家中付出的分配
您必須了解到這種分配並不能真的達到一半
而是在兩人都平衡能接受的量上
所以如果您付出比較多在金錢上
她看起來付出比較大部分在時間方面
您時不時會覺得她的付出不夠是因為:
1.您覺得花了很多錢很不爽卻忽略了她所付出的時間
2.您真的花了很多錢甚至很多時間而她整天擺爛
如果是情況二 在您所謂的溝通無解下
可以嘗試尋求專業人士諮商協助
真的全都無效再考慮離婚
回到一開始的問題
為何會問您對她是否是有條件的愛
是因為不管是情況一還是二
您都自認為受了委屈 覺得自己在忍讓她
一味忍讓並不是健全的關係
您的忍讓導致了不健康的想法
“既然我都在這部分犧牲這麼多,那我要求她順著我的想法對我的親戚朋友也不為過吧?
"
才造成了這次您上來抱怨的這些事件
“雖然平常沒事的時候彼此相處都很棒 但是只要跟朋友親戚相處不愉快就會吵架”
“難道我負責家裡90%的開銷還不夠多嗎?”
所以對您來說您的老婆不夠“符合您的要求”您就不愛她了?
因為您覺得自己在忍讓 所以老婆必須要條件交換 必須在某些部分滿足您 不然您會感到
不平衡
您們的關係之中已經失去平衡 失去愛了
您的老婆現在對您來說是怎麼樣的角色?
是不是僅剩孩子的媽這樣的功能性角色?
您還在乎她也是個有喜怒的獨立個體,是您的愛人嗎?
您似乎忘了這點
忘了您老婆也是會有情緒的人
在您看來她就是個每次都莫名其妙生氣,甚至有點“不識大體、不識相”
您有認真去探尋原因嗎?
還是您只是“自認為”這些情緒就是歸咎於某些事,甚至直接忽略呢?
您的目前可能的想法也是:“大家都說要體諒老婆誰來體諒我?”
並不是只能體諒兩人中的其中一個人
這是可以兩個人一起去諮商面對的事
這樣或許您就能體諒她的不善交際或是交際恐懼
而她也會體諒您的這種不平衡感受
最後兩人都做出改變
--
我只想問一句
您愛您的老婆嗎?
還是您對她的愛是有條件的,像有些父母會對小孩說:如果不怎麼樣,爸爸媽媽就不愛你
囉!的這種愛?
先不要急著否認或承認,可以想一想
您心中的情況是這樣嗎?
原Po:
負責家中所有金錢開銷
很愛小孩
您的老婆:
負責顧小孩
負責做家事
對於自己身材不夠負責(從您的舊文中推斷
這是從您提供的資訊感覺到的對家中付出的分配
您必須了解到這種分配並不能真的達到一半
而是在兩人都平衡能接受的量上
所以如果您付出比較多在金錢上
她看起來付出比較大部分在時間方面
您時不時會覺得她的付出不夠是因為:
1.您覺得花了很多錢很不爽卻忽略了她所付出的時間
2.您真的花了很多錢甚至很多時間而她整天擺爛
如果是情況二 在您所謂的溝通無解下
可以嘗試尋求專業人士諮商協助
真的全都無效再考慮離婚
回到一開始的問題
為何會問您對她是否是有條件的愛
是因為不管是情況一還是二
您都自認為受了委屈 覺得自己在忍讓她
一味忍讓並不是健全的關係
您的忍讓導致了不健康的想法
“既然我都在這部分犧牲這麼多,那我要求她順著我的想法對我的親戚朋友也不為過吧?
"
才造成了這次您上來抱怨的這些事件
“雖然平常沒事的時候彼此相處都很棒 但是只要跟朋友親戚相處不愉快就會吵架”
“難道我負責家裡90%的開銷還不夠多嗎?”
所以對您來說您的老婆不夠“符合您的要求”您就不愛她了?
因為您覺得自己在忍讓 所以老婆必須要條件交換 必須在某些部分滿足您 不然您會感到
不平衡
您們的關係之中已經失去平衡 失去愛了
您的老婆現在對您來說是怎麼樣的角色?
是不是僅剩孩子的媽這樣的功能性角色?
您還在乎她也是個有喜怒的獨立個體,是您的愛人嗎?
您似乎忘了這點
忘了您老婆也是會有情緒的人
在您看來她就是個每次都莫名其妙生氣,甚至有點“不識大體、不識相”
您有認真去探尋原因嗎?
還是您只是“自認為”這些情緒就是歸咎於某些事,甚至直接忽略呢?
您的目前可能的想法也是:“大家都說要體諒老婆誰來體諒我?”
並不是只能體諒兩人中的其中一個人
這是可以兩個人一起去諮商面對的事
這樣或許您就能體諒她的不善交際或是交際恐懼
而她也會體諒您的這種不平衡感受
最後兩人都做出改變
--
Tags:
婚姻
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at 2022-07-25T00:30
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at 2022-08-19T01:42
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at 2022-08-31T09:41
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at 2022-09-18T21:55
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at 2022-09-19T22:08
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at 2022-09-23T11:08
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at 2022-10-11T12:41
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at 2022-10-12T06:57
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at 2022-10-12T15:10
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at 2022-10-15T10:29
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at 2022-10-18T19:20
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at 2022-10-19T17:35
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at 2022-11-06T15:53
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