先生每個月送贍養費回去 還曾回去修熱水器 - 婚姻
By Xanthe
at 2010-09-24T14:06
at 2010-09-24T14:06
Table of Contents
原文恕刪
我真的覺得
這世界上這麼多討厭父親再娶的小孩這麼多不是沒有道理的!
我媽也是我爸再娶的妻子
也是跟前妻離婚多年後才認識、結婚
我是不敢說我同父異母的哥哥和我媽有多好
但是我媽嫁給我爸的時候
我爸離婚沒幾年,退休後做生意沒天份 負債累累
當時要負擔我兩個哥哥在台北念書的錢
(姊姊的支出歸她媽媽 兩個哥哥歸我爸)
我媽嫁給我爸之後
拼命做生意把負債還清(民國七十幾年欠了快百萬)
每月都還要寄錢給我兩個哥哥
結婚五年之後我才出生
之前我媽都不敢生 因為要還債還要養我爸跟前妻生的三個孩子
(女兒不用養 但是偶爾見面吃個飯要不要塞零用錢?)
我大哥是個很執著的人,非唸他喜歡的東西不可
大學聯考應屆失利 考上不喜歡的校系
最後轉學、休學、重考、轉系、轉學
前後花了好幾年才去唸到台大
等他大學畢業都28歲了
然後我爸還繼續供他唸碩博士
我爸的個性是只要小孩想唸 就無條件支持的人
我媽有說什麼嗎?
有時候是有點怨嘆
但是在我小時候從沒聽過她抱怨我爸的"孩子們"
都是長大我大哥對我爸不孝後才開始對我感嘆養子無用
要我將來不可以像我兄嫂一樣
說老實話 我兩個哥哥後期的學費跟生活費
甚至可以說是我媽賺給他們的
我小哥就對我媽很尊敬很感激
後來我小哥骨癌生病住院
到了末期在安寧病房
他自己的媽媽行動也不便沒辦法照顧
是我媽幫他每天熬中藥
(我爸去大陸求名醫得來的藥方 想死馬當活馬醫)
一帖藥要熬兩個半小時 一天要喝三帖
意思是什麼?就是我媽每天都守在爐子邊
然後把藥送去醫院
還幫我小哥把屎把尿 連尿布都是我媽在處理
我小哥曾經哭著跟我媽說
如果不是他身體這樣
他真的很希望將來妹妹(我)長大
可以讓他來付出出國學音樂的錢已回報我爸媽
我媽這樣累不累? 超累
你可以不用這樣做
而且我相信你家的狀況跟我家又不一樣
但是做到想開一點有這麼難嗎?
要嫁給妳先生之前你就該有覺悟
他不是你一個人的
他是妳的先生、你小孩的爸爸、你公婆的兒子
還有妳先生與前妻所生的小孩的爸爸!
說真的妳也沒什麼大錯
不過就是小心眼自私了點
但說真的
今天妳先生沒有讓你們餓到、窮到
我不知道妳有什麼好計較的?
以前我學鋼琴在學得最好進步最快的時候被迫中斷
唸喜歡的私立國中被逼著不能直升
我都以為是我爸老古板 覺得學音樂沒用 覺得高中就是要唸國立的
長大上了大學我媽才慢慢跟我說
因為那些錢都拿去灑在我哥哥們身上了
讓我大哥唸書、給他錢買房子娶老婆、給我小哥治病
所以沒有錢再供我了
但是她不希望我對爸爸還有哥哥有怨言
所以以前都沒有說
都找個理由跟藉口來對我解釋
我媽怨不怨?
也是有怨啊
憑什麼前妻生的小孩得到這麼好的栽培唸到台大的博士
我媽生的連個才藝都補不起?
(我從小沒補學科 只有去學鋼琴跟國畫)
但是我媽說 不轉念行嗎?
難道要整天活在痛苦裡然後把我也教成一個斤斤計較的人?
妳如果為了自己跟小孩好
最好是放寬心 不要管太多
做好妳自己家庭的金錢規劃
給先生一個溫暖的家
讓他想要每天回到妳們的家
而不是去以前的家庭尋求溫暖
我媽就是用天天、三餐下廚,把我爸照顧的無微不至
來緊緊抓住我爸的心(胃XD)的
妳可以不用這樣
但是妳真的要想一想怎麼做才是對妳最有利的!
--
我真的覺得
這世界上這麼多討厭父親再娶的小孩這麼多不是沒有道理的!
我媽也是我爸再娶的妻子
也是跟前妻離婚多年後才認識、結婚
我是不敢說我同父異母的哥哥和我媽有多好
但是我媽嫁給我爸的時候
我爸離婚沒幾年,退休後做生意沒天份 負債累累
當時要負擔我兩個哥哥在台北念書的錢
(姊姊的支出歸她媽媽 兩個哥哥歸我爸)
我媽嫁給我爸之後
拼命做生意把負債還清(民國七十幾年欠了快百萬)
每月都還要寄錢給我兩個哥哥
結婚五年之後我才出生
之前我媽都不敢生 因為要還債還要養我爸跟前妻生的三個孩子
(女兒不用養 但是偶爾見面吃個飯要不要塞零用錢?)
我大哥是個很執著的人,非唸他喜歡的東西不可
大學聯考應屆失利 考上不喜歡的校系
最後轉學、休學、重考、轉系、轉學
前後花了好幾年才去唸到台大
等他大學畢業都28歲了
然後我爸還繼續供他唸碩博士
我爸的個性是只要小孩想唸 就無條件支持的人
我媽有說什麼嗎?
有時候是有點怨嘆
但是在我小時候從沒聽過她抱怨我爸的"孩子們"
都是長大我大哥對我爸不孝後才開始對我感嘆養子無用
要我將來不可以像我兄嫂一樣
說老實話 我兩個哥哥後期的學費跟生活費
甚至可以說是我媽賺給他們的
我小哥就對我媽很尊敬很感激
後來我小哥骨癌生病住院
到了末期在安寧病房
他自己的媽媽行動也不便沒辦法照顧
是我媽幫他每天熬中藥
(我爸去大陸求名醫得來的藥方 想死馬當活馬醫)
一帖藥要熬兩個半小時 一天要喝三帖
意思是什麼?就是我媽每天都守在爐子邊
然後把藥送去醫院
還幫我小哥把屎把尿 連尿布都是我媽在處理
我小哥曾經哭著跟我媽說
如果不是他身體這樣
他真的很希望將來妹妹(我)長大
可以讓他來付出出國學音樂的錢已回報我爸媽
我媽這樣累不累? 超累
你可以不用這樣做
而且我相信你家的狀況跟我家又不一樣
但是做到想開一點有這麼難嗎?
要嫁給妳先生之前你就該有覺悟
他不是你一個人的
他是妳的先生、你小孩的爸爸、你公婆的兒子
還有妳先生與前妻所生的小孩的爸爸!
說真的妳也沒什麼大錯
不過就是小心眼自私了點
但說真的
今天妳先生沒有讓你們餓到、窮到
我不知道妳有什麼好計較的?
以前我學鋼琴在學得最好進步最快的時候被迫中斷
唸喜歡的私立國中被逼著不能直升
我都以為是我爸老古板 覺得學音樂沒用 覺得高中就是要唸國立的
長大上了大學我媽才慢慢跟我說
因為那些錢都拿去灑在我哥哥們身上了
讓我大哥唸書、給他錢買房子娶老婆、給我小哥治病
所以沒有錢再供我了
但是她不希望我對爸爸還有哥哥有怨言
所以以前都沒有說
都找個理由跟藉口來對我解釋
我媽怨不怨?
也是有怨啊
憑什麼前妻生的小孩得到這麼好的栽培唸到台大的博士
我媽生的連個才藝都補不起?
(我從小沒補學科 只有去學鋼琴跟國畫)
但是我媽說 不轉念行嗎?
難道要整天活在痛苦裡然後把我也教成一個斤斤計較的人?
妳如果為了自己跟小孩好
最好是放寬心 不要管太多
做好妳自己家庭的金錢規劃
給先生一個溫暖的家
讓他想要每天回到妳們的家
而不是去以前的家庭尋求溫暖
我媽就是用天天、三餐下廚,把我爸照顧的無微不至
來緊緊抓住我爸的心(胃XD)的
妳可以不用這樣
但是妳真的要想一想怎麼做才是對妳最有利的!
--
Tags:
婚姻
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