照顧小孩一定要很辛苦才行? - 婚姻
By Jacob
at 2021-10-06T17:44
at 2021-10-06T17:44
Table of Contents
是否同意記者抄文:NO
由於我的房子買在我老婆娘家大約15分鐘車程的地方。小孩生下來以後,我老婆就帶著小
孩回娘家住,而我因為上班的位置較遠,平常日僅需下班後7點左右到岳母家幫忙照顧小
孩到10點,然後就回到我買的房子準備明天上班的工作,六日則會住在岳父岳母家一整天
幫忙帶小孩。
因為我真正照顧小孩一整天的時間,實際上一個禮拜只有2天。所以,小孩出生到現在快
要2歲,我幾乎沒什麼體驗到半夜睡不飽照顧小孩的痛苦。
我的交友圈很小,很湊巧我的好朋友他的老婆也是我老婆的好朋友。某天,和我朋友在聊
天,他聽了我現在生活的方式後,感覺好像有點嫉妒
(他生三個小孩,生活壓力大之外,有又沒有長輩能夠幫忙,老婆常常在為了小孩誰花了
比較多精神和心力在計較個不停)
他先是酸幾句
「我就看如果我們出去過夜玩,你要怎麼辦」
「我看你再生一個要怎麼辦」
這種話
然後告訴我,他老婆和我老婆在聊天時,我老婆有透漏她很累,照顧小孩很辛苦。說了很
多,言下之意好像就是在說我什麼都不做,讓我老婆很辛苦。
我聽了以後很擔心我老婆累垮,很認真的問她最近是不是太累了,我需不需要多做些甚麼
幫忙她?並把我朋友說的狀況和她討論
反倒是她很驚訝,她說她並沒有抱怨我。只是小孩子有時候鬧起來真的很難處理,她就只
是抱怨一下。
她說,她在娘家照顧小孩,岳父岳母兩老退休也沒什麼事,有小孩生活反而是增添趣味,
而且岳父岳母加她其實三個人在照顧一個小孩,老實說真的相對輕鬆,和自己的爸媽照顧
小孩,有什麼摩擦,也比較好直接說開,比較自在。她真的對我沒什麼怨言,也不覺得我
需要多做些什麼事。
如果真的搬回我們買的新居住,只有我和老婆照顧小孩,沒有岳父岳母的幫忙,她才覺得
會出事。
她說,自己從來沒有主動跟他們抱怨什麼,都是他們時不時就主動的問,例如下列這些問
題
「你老公可以單獨照顧小孩嗎?」
「帶小孩會不會很辛苦啊?」
她不明白為什麼單純抱怨小孩難帶,傳過去卻變成她在抱怨老公。
知道他們是這樣的想法後,最近他老婆又一直在約我老婆出去玩,已經婉拒疫情的原因暫
緩,但還是約個不停,感覺就好像想要看我們夫妻的洋相,想看我們無法單獨照顧孩子手
忙腳亂的樣子。
老實說,我們絕對可以單獨照顧,但是就覺得他們的這個心態讓人很不舒服。
我朋友甚至在聊天的時候,脫口說出,「憑甚麼我們照顧小孩這麼痛苦,你卻可以這麼輕
鬆」,她老婆也跟我老婆說過「照顧小孩她就是覺得老公老婆要一起死(累死)」這樣的話
我覺得每個人的家庭狀況不同,我的家庭有足夠多的奧援,雙方都在可以接受的情況下讓
彼此輕鬆一點,那有什麼錯?為什麼我們照顧小孩一定要跟你們一樣辛苦才行?不是很懂
他們的邏輯
--
由於我的房子買在我老婆娘家大約15分鐘車程的地方。小孩生下來以後,我老婆就帶著小
孩回娘家住,而我因為上班的位置較遠,平常日僅需下班後7點左右到岳母家幫忙照顧小
孩到10點,然後就回到我買的房子準備明天上班的工作,六日則會住在岳父岳母家一整天
幫忙帶小孩。
因為我真正照顧小孩一整天的時間,實際上一個禮拜只有2天。所以,小孩出生到現在快
要2歲,我幾乎沒什麼體驗到半夜睡不飽照顧小孩的痛苦。
我的交友圈很小,很湊巧我的好朋友他的老婆也是我老婆的好朋友。某天,和我朋友在聊
天,他聽了我現在生活的方式後,感覺好像有點嫉妒
(他生三個小孩,生活壓力大之外,有又沒有長輩能夠幫忙,老婆常常在為了小孩誰花了
比較多精神和心力在計較個不停)
他先是酸幾句
「我就看如果我們出去過夜玩,你要怎麼辦」
「我看你再生一個要怎麼辦」
這種話
然後告訴我,他老婆和我老婆在聊天時,我老婆有透漏她很累,照顧小孩很辛苦。說了很
多,言下之意好像就是在說我什麼都不做,讓我老婆很辛苦。
我聽了以後很擔心我老婆累垮,很認真的問她最近是不是太累了,我需不需要多做些甚麼
幫忙她?並把我朋友說的狀況和她討論
反倒是她很驚訝,她說她並沒有抱怨我。只是小孩子有時候鬧起來真的很難處理,她就只
是抱怨一下。
她說,她在娘家照顧小孩,岳父岳母兩老退休也沒什麼事,有小孩生活反而是增添趣味,
而且岳父岳母加她其實三個人在照顧一個小孩,老實說真的相對輕鬆,和自己的爸媽照顧
小孩,有什麼摩擦,也比較好直接說開,比較自在。她真的對我沒什麼怨言,也不覺得我
需要多做些什麼事。
如果真的搬回我們買的新居住,只有我和老婆照顧小孩,沒有岳父岳母的幫忙,她才覺得
會出事。
她說,自己從來沒有主動跟他們抱怨什麼,都是他們時不時就主動的問,例如下列這些問
題
「你老公可以單獨照顧小孩嗎?」
「帶小孩會不會很辛苦啊?」
她不明白為什麼單純抱怨小孩難帶,傳過去卻變成她在抱怨老公。
知道他們是這樣的想法後,最近他老婆又一直在約我老婆出去玩,已經婉拒疫情的原因暫
緩,但還是約個不停,感覺就好像想要看我們夫妻的洋相,想看我們無法單獨照顧孩子手
忙腳亂的樣子。
老實說,我們絕對可以單獨照顧,但是就覺得他們的這個心態讓人很不舒服。
我朋友甚至在聊天的時候,脫口說出,「憑甚麼我們照顧小孩這麼痛苦,你卻可以這麼輕
鬆」,她老婆也跟我老婆說過「照顧小孩她就是覺得老公老婆要一起死(累死)」這樣的話
我覺得每個人的家庭狀況不同,我的家庭有足夠多的奧援,雙方都在可以接受的情況下讓
彼此輕鬆一點,那有什麼錯?為什麼我們照顧小孩一定要跟你們一樣辛苦才行?不是很懂
他們的邏輯
--
Tags:
婚姻
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