寶寶出生後跟婆婆的摩擦 - 婚姻
By Jake
at 2021-12-01T02:40
at 2021-12-01T02:40
Table of Contents
目前因為新房子還沒好,
和老公暫住婆家,
之前懷孕時能相安無事,
寶寶出生後
因為和婆婆對寶寶照顧觀念、生活習慣,不同,
許多事情覺得心裡很不舒服,覺得不少磨合(摩擦?)之處,
憋著心裡快內傷、
但沒有制止對寶寶不好;
又擔心有婆媳衝突。
請問各位媽咪若遇到這種情況,
都怎麼做?怎麼有效而圓融地處理?
1.和寶寶、老公都在同一間房,
婆婆總是不敲門就自己跑進來,
已經好幾次我在親餵或是擠奶的時候,
婆婆就直接跑進來,撞見裸上身的我
之前特地貼了「親餵中」、「擠奶中」的便條在門上,
無效,
她還是會直接開門進來
後來我就直接關門、鎖門!
但老公下班後,因老公也需要進出房間,
門關上後沒鎖,
婆婆還是直接跑進來房間,
當場就又看到裸上身的我
真的是覺得很崩潰啊啊啊!
門口就已經有貼便條說「擠奶中」
為什麼硬要進來呢?
即使覺得同是女性,妳有的我也有,
但也要尊重人家是否會在意,
我覺得我跟婆婆還沒有自在到袒胸露背都無所謂的程度
請老公跟婆婆說,
婆婆隔天也馬上跟我表達不好意思。
但是後來也還是持續這樣,
即便後來她有進步,會在門外先問候:
寶寶在睡覺嗎?等等等 之類的
她還是很直覺地下一個步驟就是要轉門把進來
當下真的覺得很無言
目前只能老公不在家時,
擠奶或親餵一定鎖門
但一想到老公在的時間無法鎖門時,可能又會舊事重演,心裡還是覺得不舒服
2.愛直接開門事件後來又更進階
因為婆婆很喜歡在寶寶洗澡時來湊熱鬧,
明明我跟先生兩人幫寶寶洗澡
(兩人分工合作,一個放水,一個就先幫寶寶清口腔鼻子;
洗完後一個幫寶寶穿衣服,一個倒洗澡水)
婆婆幾乎每次都要跑進來浴室裡加油吶喊湊熱鬧,
小小的浴室裡顯得非常擁擠,
再者,會在旁邊撥水、拍水
(她可能覺得她在幫忙,
但這樣水溫不就容易更快變冷?)
或是洗澡、穿衣過程當中會拉著寶寶的手
然後上下一直搖晃,
邊說:加油加油唷!不要哭呀
(寶寶剛回家時洗澡澡、穿衣時會哭
另外寶寶2M, 還有很明顯的抓握反射,
她可能以為寶寶很喜歡握她的手?)
但我是覺得,若寶寶因緊張在哭,
妳抓著她的手一直搖晃,
寶寶恐怕覺得:發生什麼事?
不是增加寶寶的焦慮感嗎?
對此我也不太高興
然後,今天我在洗澡時,
她就忽然開門,嚇死我
對 這下子不是裸上身,而是全裸了 (眼神死)
她說她以為我跟老公在洗寶寶要進來看
浴室門沒鎖是因為婆家浴室門不好鎖,
容易跳開,
另外也是因為之前有時老公抹造型品梳頭髮後會進來洗手
這種事情又來!
但也不能發火,真是討厭啊!
更讓我下定決心,
門鎖跳開就只好認了,
除此之外一定要鎖門鎖門鎖門!!!(握拳)
3.喜歡吵寶寶睡覺
婆婆很喜歡抱寶寶
但有很多時候寶寶在睡覺時,
她就會想要把她吵起來
邊說著:「不要睡覺啊!起來跟阿嬤玩啊!」
然後就試圖要叫醒寶寶
嬰兒期睡眠很重要
長大腦、長身體,為什麼要吵寶寶?!
跟老公說,老公也有轉達,
甚至在婆婆後來試圖要吵寶寶時老公也會馬上制止,
但她還是很難改這個壞習慣,
有時這種行為還是會冒出來!
4.一些莫名奇妙的言語跟動作
婆婆很喜歡抱寶寶,
我可以理解喜歡抱可愛的小嬰兒
(甚至有一次寶寶剛包好包巾,
她就直接大力拉扯包巾,像是用搶的一樣把寶寶拉過去抱;
還有一次我在安撫寶寶時,
直接伸手進來我懷裡一邊說著:阿嬤抱阿嬤抱,就要強行把寶寶抱走,
我緊緊抱住寶寶跟她說:媽,我來就好
對這兩次舉動我也不太高興)
她抱寶寶時很喜歡拍寶寶屁屁,
然後一邊說著:打屁屁、打屁屁
不然就是一邊鬼打牆地說:屁屁屁屁屁屁
我心裡想,一般來說我們通常會把打屁屁視為懲罰的一種方式,
我女鵝又沒做錯事,為什麼要讓妳打屁屁啊???
一直說屁屁屁 ,
這習慣不改
以後寶寶長大開始在學語期階段,
要是也學會在那邊說:屁屁屁
那怎麼辦呢?
基本上跟老公說,老公都是會去講會去扮這個黑臉的,
但婆婆自己本身沒有很受控...
我也了解婆婆喜歡寶寶,
可能也是彌補以前的她忙於工作無法太多時間陪伴自己當時還是嬰兒階段的兒女
(老公以及小姑都是阿嬤帶大)
自己也只能想說房子還沒好的過渡期,
就只能忍耐...
但無法排解心裡的不舒服感!
請教版友們能否給些建設性的建議?
是否同意記者抄文:NO
--
Tags:
婚姻
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